Comments because I don’t drive

[Waolom]

I’m 28. I don’t drive. I have no children. I do not mind the fact that I can’t drive one single bit. I enjoy sitting on public transport and switching off, listening to my music, I never ask anyone for a lift or to take me xyz place. In short, my inability to drive affects absolutely nobody but myself and I’m happy.

So why on earth do (some) drivers make it such a big deal and make comments when people can’t drive? I don’t ever ask for lifts so it just frustrates me when people comment on it as if I’m putting them out. I’m not.
AIBU to be fed up of these comments?

can be quite entitled when it comes to other people ferrying them around while they proudly boast 'I don't drive!' like it's something to be proud of.
I find it strange to hear people are proud of not driving, it's something that is frowned upon, like being fat, or having bad teeth, society will remind you that you're useless.
I have never felt proud of not being a driver, I find nosey people who ask me why, are annoying and condescending.

Also, I never take lifts. Sometimes if I'm meeting a friend they'll say I'll pick you up and I always say no as I prefer to arrive somewhere independently, I hare 'pre-empting' the chat in the car first, maybe just me. And I'll always say I need time to make a call on way home or whatever so don't need lift back. We don't all take lifts!

And as for the life org, I don't do the gym, I walk to collect prescriptions, walk to station, train to work, same back or bus or taxi, etc. I don't get all the 'how do you manage' stuff at all.
Other weekend, daughter at netball, walked there and back, 35 mins, good for us, and nice to chat?
Like previous poster, lots of peers killed in car accidents as teenagers, perhaps put me off in an unrecoverable way. Maybe that's why I just can't learn despite the hundreds of hours of tuition.

I think independent public transport travel, and walking distance daily is also a life skill by the way.

I assume you live in a city with great links. I have a friend who could and would have written your post, except she's wrong. Just last week she had a very early hospital appointment in a city an hour away. She said she couldn't get there for 7.30 am using public transport on the day of the appointment, which was true.
She asked and I took her. She didn't offer any petrol money and even bought herself a coffee in the Costa in the hospital and didn't offer to buy mine. I won't take her again.
The reality is she could have gone the day before and booked a hotel room or paid for a cab on the day. She doesn't need lifts day to day, but she does ask when she feels the need, even if it is rare.
Most people would rather not have the cost of running a car. It is so much more expensive than buying the car, fuel and insurance. I use my car only around once a week (I also let DD drive it). I genuinely don't ask anyone for a lift. You're the first non-driver I've heard of that has never ever been helped by someone who drives, although plenty of people say it.

How often do situations like this happen?
You can dismiss comments from strangers, they know nothing about you.
It would be annoying from friends, but surely after all this time your friends don’t press the issue.

I get you OP. Never driven either. But I rarely ask for lifts. I'm happy walking, getting buses or taxis. It's other people that seem to have the problem! Yes it would sometimes be more convenient having a car but 95% of the time it's fine! My kid is also happy getting buses,.trains, trams, walking to nursery etc. we purposely bought a house with good public transport and everything in walking distance. I'd hate to have to drive everywhere.

I live in a city. The gym is next to my office, next to the nursery. I pay 60 for IKEA and B&Q to deliver, which is still cheaper than running a car and definitely cheaper than the divorce costs after trying to fit a wardrobe in a small car. My kids cycle to clubs, or one parent goes in each direction if we're needed. Otherwise I pay a baby sitter to take them in a taxi. Shops are open until 10, or I do online delivery. There are 5 pharmacies in a 3 mile radius. This is back to life without a car is dependent on location. I wouldn't live somewhere where I had to spend hours per week in a car. It doesn't sound like having a car reduces your stress.

I think it’s a good skill to be able to drive, whether you have a car or not.

It’s just a normal part of adulthood I guess. And I do think it’s a bit strange when people haven’t learned by adulthood.

With regard to your last paragraph let's play a game.

You name some location that you believe I'd find inaccessible without me driving or cadging a lift from a driver.

I'll look it up and tell you how I'd get there.

I like a game 🙂

She's literally just said: she never asks for lifts.

I get full mobility & care PIP so I'm all good for taxis/public transport etc.

I wouldn't offend a driver by offering them a ride in my free taxi if there was a problem with their car or they wanted a drink etc

I don’t drive (never tried to pass) but I’ve never once asked for a lift “because I don’t want to get soaked” I arrange a free council collection for bulky waste, no car needed. Your friend is a lazy shit.

The reason it comes up in conversation is because you meet up somewhere and you don’t have a car to park. Or you leave and head to the bus stop. And there’s always someone who says “WOW you don’t drive?!”

In my NCT group they looked at me like I was crazy for heading off to the bus stop with my pram 🤣 and all offered lifts, but I was fine. It’s London not the middle of nowhere.

Show me my post that said you ‘were talking rubbish’ and I’ll show you where I clearly said that you were In the minority.

If you live in London it’s actually more inconvenient to have a car. Public transport is basically the only sensible way to get around. And if you need to go somewhere that requires a car uber is available for cheap within minutes.

There are many reasons why I don’t drive and don’t want to, one being that I simply get far too travel sick. I couldn’t safely drive a car when I feel sick!

Yes driving is skill that is useful to have but not essential. I have been driving since I was 18 and have a car but still very reluctant. Fortunately for me my husband feels this way about cooking. He is good at other household tasks. So for us it is a swap.
Can I also point out that walking 3 or 4 miles is also a life skill that many people don’t seem to have and far better for you than driving.
We both prefer to get public transport, taxi or walk when we go out and we live in a place with excellent transport links.

“Being helped by people with cars” is very different to asking people for lifts. Some people are kind, offer a lift and genuinely mean it. There’s a lot of stories of non driver CFs on this thread but OP isn’t one of them.

Surely your friends could use a combination of public transport and taxis and it would still cost them less over a year than running a car ?
When i used to drive it always annoyed me that those who had never driven complained that using a taxi would be too expensive (for that one journey) but couldn't see that it would be cheaper in the long run.
Just arrange your meet ups where you want to and let your friends figure out how to get there. Or they can just forgo the occasional journeys that are not possible to do without a car. I would not dream of restricting my friends in that way or guilt tripping them into ferrying me around like a child.

Been to dozens of weddings, never arrived by lift. Usually train, then taxi? Taxi costs can be high, but cars/petrol really expensive. More so I think, I probably spend maybe 20-30 on taxis each month. Is that about the same as petrol, insurance etc?

Do you just never leave London then? There’s not many places that are set up for public transport the way London is, in my town it is almost impossible to get to my workplace via bus and completely impossible by train!

I love visiting, for example, small towns, villages, or moorland like in Yorkshire. It just wouldn’t be possible without a car.

I didn't learn how to drive until my son became disabled and then I learned ASAP because I know it would mean constant appointments and I didn't always want to rely on public transport for that.

Before my son became disabled (including when he first became unwell and I got a taxi with him to A&E in the early hours of the morning) I was quite content not to drive.

Not a chance round here. If I’m going out out we have to pre book a taxi and even then our timings have to work around the taxi. Covid seemed to kill off our local taxi firms so most only do airport runs. This is South Somerset and north Dorset, not the outer Hebrides.

@Waolom i think you must be ok the Uk as I don’t think any other country has such a bad attitude towards non drivers .

We are so use to bad transport services here , it’s seen as a necessity to drive rather than a choice /luxury.

I drive and loved the freedom it gave me , however . I must have genuinely driven more miles than any other person I know .
I am at the point and I’ve said this for years . If I had a lottery win I’d hire a chauffeur full time!
Id also like to travel other ways but having a licence you always drive as it’s quicker .

You do you and ignore the judgement of others .

Most places have a train station no? I went to rural Cornwall by train and bus. There was one place where we had to pre-book a taxi because the bus was once per day and was too early for us. And one night where we had to walk back in the dark about 20 mins. It was nice getting local transport! You just have to be organised and research.

I just went away with a friend to a tiny village in Carmarthenshire. I live in Hertfordshire. I walked to the station (25 mins), got train to London, tube across, met her, we got train to wales- amazing, one of top ten train rides in uk apparently. Got off train, had lovely drink in pub while waiting for the bus that comes every 2 hours. Got that. Got off. Went to hotel. Had amazing time. Same in reverse.

I think some people on here must lack initiative.

Much cheaper .