Parents said my maternity photos were “erotic”

[Ttcgirl89]

I had maternity photos taken on the beach when I was pregnant. I live in Australia and am from NZ and recently my parents came to visit us and meet our baby. I was looking through photos and my dad said that the maternity photos were “erotic” and my stepmum agreed. My brother asked what we were talking about and my Dad was like “you don’t wanna look at them, they’ll make you blush”.

I sent the photos to them after I had them done months ago and I thought they were so lovely and special. They were taken at “our beach” where my husband and I swim in summer I am wearing a dress in all of the photos and my bra is covered, with the buttons down the front undone to show the belly. My husband and I don’t see anything erotic about these photos at all and I was shocked that they thought that. I feel really awkward and embarrassed now that I sent them to them if that’s what they thought about them!

Is this a weird reaction to seeing your daughter’s maternity pictures?

“It's a special and wonderful time and you should be able to share that with your family.”

What about other people’s boundaries? Sure it’s a special time for you, but why the need to share intimate photos with your family when they don’t want to see?

I like your cheerful good natured responses to the criticism and bewilderment OP. I hope you did feel special. Mum's spend a lot of time feeling very unspecial indeed once the baby takes centre stage so I hope you enjoyed your moment in the sun.

Idk I guess I thought the people in my life who were excited for my to be pregnant would also want to see it. My family live overseas from me and I hadn’t seen them in almost three years so they hadn’t seen me pregnant and I suppose I wanted them to.

Completely agree. Push presents🤮🤮🤮

Thank you ☺️

DH took a photo of me with my baby bump out. Think I was wearing underwear and an open dressing gown. They were for me only as a record of just how big my bump was. Wouldn’t dream of letting my dad see them!!! 😳

There’s a very vocal contingent on MN that strongly believe that you’re only allowed to exist. Expecting or wanting any form of help or sympathy is unacceptable. Drawing any attention to yourself, being proud of anything, celebrating anything, even worse , taking photos of anything or shock!horror! sharing anything is unacceptable. That’s not how a proper adult behaves. Proper adults just exist. God knows what brings these people joy and fun , probably pissing in someone else’s cornflakes.

This

I’d be excited for you, but seeing the photos wouldn’t increase that in any way. It’s just not something everyone wants to see. I found my own gross, so no way would I have taken photos! They’re adults, they know what a pregnant woman looks like.

She didn't know they didn't want to see when she sent them, obviously. If now she does she has mugs, t shirts and mouse mats made of them for their Christmas gifts, you might have a point.

People can be happy for you if you’re pregnant without wanting to see intimate photographic proof 🙄

Would you put photos of you in your underwear when not pregnant on display? Lots of us have photos of us on holiday in bikinis, but people don't tend to put them on the mantlepiece, so why is it different just because you are pregnant?

I think they sound like sweet, joyful, beautiful pictures.

I had a magazine poster of the Spice Girls in my room when I was maybe 12 and my dad told my mum he didn't think I should have pictures of women dressed "like that" on my wall. And how he squirmed when she said, "Like WHAT exactly?!"

He didn't get why it was funny when US Attorney General John Ashcroft had the Spirit of Justice statue covered up because she had her boobs out.

I adore my daughter and am a doting grandma. I was 'interested' in her pregnancies only to the point of her welfare and that of the babies she was carrying.

I'm very relieved that she didn't do 'pregnancy photos' because I'd have had to lie through my teeth when she showed them.

Do you think wedding pictures suggest ‘oooh look at us, we are the first people to get married’ and pictures of babies ‘ooooh look at us, first people to have a baby’ and birthday pics ‘ooh look at me, first person to have a birthday’.

you get the point.

do you apply your thinking to all pictures or only maternity pics? Personally I wish I had more pics of me pregnant because I have hardly any. It’s a much bigger moment in my life than most.

🤣 I mean Christmas is just around the corner 🤣🤣🤣

I bet they were beautiful op. I weirdly love a pregnant belly, mine or a strangers,😂 makes me nostalgic for my bumps.
Enjoy (your dps are weird)

Of course a state of deliberately partial undressing in a photo is going to have some element of sexual undertones

That.. It's very different from just wearing a bikini.

Yes this is a great way to explain it. And people must exist very piously. They get very upset if people have some luxury in their life, ranging from holidays abroad to shopping anywhere but Lidl or aldi. Either because you dared moan about cost of living or if you’re well off then you shouldn’t be wasting your money on soft play you should be saving that money.

I wore a nice bodycon dress when I was pregnant, a family member said to me, what ever happened to tunics they wore to hide the bump.
Maybe that’s the same generation as the folk who upset you?

There is no way in hell I would have sent them to my parents (if I had them done, which there was zero chance of me even considering). They would get embarrassed and hate them. They are very conservative and ‘modest’ so would have died seeing these pics.

Was your dad’s reaction a shock OP? What’s he like normally? Is he happy to discuss sex, bodies etc? Does he cough and start talking about inane stuff during the kissing scenes on TV? Etc

IMO whatever the photos looked like, your Dad should have kept his trap shut. Men really badly need to learn that not every thought about sex and women’s bodies that crossed their mind needs to be communicated to the world. Especially when the woman involved is your daughter, FFS.

I think making a photo of you and your partner when your pregnancy is obvious is a lovely memory. Maternity photos sound a bit different to me - it’s a photo showing your bare tummy, which is fine if it’s what you want but it’s more towards erotic because if you want a photo of you pregnant you just take a photo of you doing something when you are pregnant. Why the need to unbutton your dress to show your belly? I’m sure your pregnancy was obvious when your dress was buttoned. If you’re in a swimming suit sunbathing it’s different for me - you are doing sunbathing as usual only this time you are pregnant - not a big deal.

However don’t pay attention to my words if you want maternity photos - do them. It’s entirely your choice. But don’t expect people to be pleased if you are sharing them.

Imo “erotic” was a strange word there but probably your parents were trying to hint on boundaries and warning you how it might be seen by others. Parents never miss the opportunity to parent 🙂.
So I agree with others - don’t send them breastfeeding photos and generally consider that your parents have more reserved approach to life.

I think maternity photo shoots are a bit self indulgent and a lot of people don’t wont to see your pregnant belly. The only audience for those pics is you and possibly the baby when it grows up. Even then I think they’d prefer not to see the bump actually out. I wouldn’t share them with anyone.

just stumbled back on to ask if you have put them up yet?