Parents said my maternity photos were “erotic”

[Ttcgirl89]

I had maternity photos taken on the beach when I was pregnant. I live in Australia and am from NZ and recently my parents came to visit us and meet our baby. I was looking through photos and my dad said that the maternity photos were “erotic” and my stepmum agreed. My brother asked what we were talking about and my Dad was like “you don’t wanna look at them, they’ll make you blush”.

I sent the photos to them after I had them done months ago and I thought they were so lovely and special. They were taken at “our beach” where my husband and I swim in summer I am wearing a dress in all of the photos and my bra is covered, with the buttons down the front undone to show the belly. My husband and I don’t see anything erotic about these photos at all and I was shocked that they thought that. I feel really awkward and embarrassed now that I sent them to them if that’s what they thought about them!

Is this a weird reaction to seeing your daughter’s maternity pictures?

I remember reading Gone With The Wind, & one of the ways Scarlett makes a stir is not hiding the fact she's pregnant . She's married but this is the 1860s Old South so...maybe some pps are still in that era! 🤣

They are definitely popular in WA, especially the beach ones - having warm weather for most of the year may be part of this. Treasure your photos, I only have bump selfies but love being able to look back on them - pregnancy is such a special time and you should celebrate yourself and your baby.

I think a PP used the term “boudoir” which is probably a better word for what your father meant, and he has a point. How would you feel about receiving boudoir shots of your parents?

Fine to have them taken if that’s your thing, but they’re private photos for your and your DH. Please don’t them to your child when it’s older!

Good lord, don’t taint the whole of Australia with this. I think it’s Perth specific😁. Never seen it where I am, I see lots of weddings at the harbour beaches but never seen what OP describes, seems very odd.

Guessing it’s one of these new things that come from the USA that the young people may be jumping on with the social media stuff? Thankfully not hit our beaches as yet!

Missed the edit window but of course I meant “please don’t show them to your child…”

I'd assume mid to late 40s, maybe early 50s.

They would not have had smart phones and social media to post their maternity shoot on in their 20s. They had a mobile phone and you could play snake on it.

It's still a different era, they don't need to be pensioners or older to have seen these changes.

Come on, it's the most isolated city in the world, we need to do something to keep ourselves entertained😂

Like I said, that may or may not describe you.

I don't think the taking of the photos is cringe, if that's what you want to do. I think plastering them all over social media can be cringe.

If someone wants to have a maternity shoot, it doesn't hurt anyone else and probably provides a nice line of work for photographers. Really though, they're mostly for the couple.

I'm probably your parent's age. They just weren't a thing when I had my four. I look back now and realise I don't have a single photo of me heavily pregnant. I think if I did have a photo, it would be a lovely memory, but I can't imagine my adult kids wanting to see it, especially with buttons undone. I think they'd run a mile rather than think about or see that.

There is too the chance that your parents worded things poorly and were just a bit shocked seeing their little girl like that. I'm sure they're thrilled that a baby is on the way, but they don't want to think about how that happened. You may find you feel a bit the same way when your baby grows up.

I'm thinking a framed maternity photo isn't what they're wanting for Christmas. But, you could give them one anyway if you want to have a giggle at their reaction. I'm a bit evil that way myself. :-)

This

An extended family had some done recently, plastered them all over Facebook with a fair bit of skin showing. It was cringe worthy and so attention seeking. Keep it to yourself.

I said the photographer that I follow seems to specialise in those kinds of photos. She lives in Qld but all the maternity photos are bushland scenes with scantily clad women.

This will divide opinion.

I'm in Australia and often see people having these sorts of pictures taken at the beach - often in a bikini and heavily pregnant. It doesn't sit well with me, seems quite narcissistic. However, I think the same thing about the million selfies people seem to want to take everywhere..

The more relevant point is that my DC are probably your age(ish) and they wouldn't do this publicly.

I can't work out what was going on with the dress buttons.

You said bra covered but buttons undone to show belly, right?

So, did you just undo the belly buttons, belly peek-a-boo-ing out of the dress?

Or were the buttons done up at the top and the whole dress undone from belly downwards?

I can't picture it.

Yeah…don’t go sharing intimate photos OP, nobody else needs to see them. (And yes, ‘maternity photos’ are intimate ffs!)

All these ‘I’ve never heard of a maternity shoot’ posts are wild- I’m 35 and didn’t have one but know plenty of people who have (all over UK!) it’s very common.

I sort of know what your dad means @Ttcgirl89 - loads of people post them to social media (the ultimate MN crime!) and many of them are very intimate! Bare skin even if just the bump, couples holding each other close and gazing into the middle distance. I have no issue with people doing them at all you do you and I’ve seen some beautiful photos but they do feel like something for the couples eyes only and sometimes it surprises me the ones they choose to share!

Mean spirited responses on here. Written by people too old and bitter because they are no longer fertile and able to have lovely bump photos taken like the OP.

😂

That's a bit of a reach! Yes I'm old, but the thought of being fertile again... 😱

I loved being pregnant, I loved my bumps, and I have a couple of nice photos of me very pregnant (dressed normally) that I love.

But half undressing to show other people your stretched skinned belly is odd, and I don't think it has the appreciative audience that you think

I agree. And I'd say the same about the scan photos. Sorry, but one grainy black and white image of a foetus looks the same as any other. It's fascinating for the parents but means nothing to me.

And yes @Ttcgirl89 I suspect that your dad couldn't quite find the right word to express that the photos made them feel awkward. Someone brought up the word boudoir, which they may well not know. Or maybe the photo seemed sensual.

But basically the photo, with its element of undress, felt too intimate for them, and that's okay. And you have a good enough relationship for them to be honest about it.
I'm much more chicken, and would probably have said 'lovely dear' but just wish I hadn't seen it. And I suspect that many family and friends might do the same.

Wow lots of prudes and curmudgeons on here.

OP your dad is a prude with no filter. He’s probably from the time when women tried to hide their baby belly under baggy clothes.

just ignore that and enjoy your pregnancy.

people who think maternity shoot is weird are also weird.

I've just googled some maternity shoots, and the dressed ones can be lovely. But the 'dressed, but belly out' ones rarely are.

What I found more than anything though, and this happened mainly with the belly out ones, is that they were set up and posed (bump kissing etc) to catch really intimate emotions and facial expressions between the couple. And that in itself made me feel that I shouldn't be an audience to it.

So while erotic is the wrong word, I can see how he landed on it when he couldn't find the right word.

People can do what they like, have whatever photos they like etc. But they don't need to show them to others who haven't asked to see them.

Or they're just not used to the idea of a 'maternity shoot'. I'd never heard of it before so it sounds odd to me. I am not weird but it's weird to think that everybody with a different experience to yourself is weird.

Just another bod. Who cares?

I've always thought maternity shoots come across as erotic and frankly a bit cringe - even moreso if the baby's father is present in the photos (there's an example on the first page of this thread).

" judgy pants"!!!!

Everyone who has an opinion is using their judgement to arrive at that opinion. That's what critical thinking is all about: using judgement.

Right now I'm using my critical thinking to judge whether the expression " judgy pants" is cringeworthy or just plain ridiculous.