Parents said my maternity photos were “erotic”

[Ttcgirl89]

I had maternity photos taken on the beach when I was pregnant. I live in Australia and am from NZ and recently my parents came to visit us and meet our baby. I was looking through photos and my dad said that the maternity photos were “erotic” and my stepmum agreed. My brother asked what we were talking about and my Dad was like “you don’t wanna look at them, they’ll make you blush”.

I sent the photos to them after I had them done months ago and I thought they were so lovely and special. They were taken at “our beach” where my husband and I swim in summer I am wearing a dress in all of the photos and my bra is covered, with the buttons down the front undone to show the belly. My husband and I don’t see anything erotic about these photos at all and I was shocked that they thought that. I feel really awkward and embarrassed now that I sent them to them if that’s what they thought about them!

Is this a weird reaction to seeing your daughter’s maternity pictures?

I wouldn't go as far as that.

But if you want to splash your image in public view then go for it. And as I said before, I'd make the 'right' noises to pander to your ego, and to appear polite, but don't be convinced that I believe you're as special as you think you are by drawing attention to yourself. Simples. Just be happy and confident doing you.

This is an anonymous message board and I'm merely giving my opinion as to why many folk don't appreciate other folks' intimate photos as much as does the person in the image. However, it's hardly life and death stuff and I would not give other people's opinions on the subject more head space than it deserves. 😎.

Ffs, you don't need to justify getting some photos done of a happy time for your own memory bank. MN is full of this kind of weird puritanism that thinks it's actually a moral failing to get some photos taken to remember your pregnancy. At worst you may bore or annoy some people if you put them on social media, which very few women actually do, but that's not a hanging offence either.

They will talk some shash about it making an accessory of the baby or capitalism or that ultimate failing, being attention seeking, but that's just the moralistic cover. The truth is that they like the idea, but they're ruled by the stupid puritanism or think they are above it, and so the next best thing is to chuck a load of shite at any woman who did what they wish they could do. You don't need to justify yourself. Enjoy your pregnancy, enjoy your baby, enjoy your photos. The years go faster than you can imagine and you'll be glad you have them to look back on. It's nice and it's not a bloody moral issue.

That’s such a weird comment.

Lol just done exactly that! Personally I think maternity photos should be for the expectant parents only. No one really wants to see someone else's burgeoning bump

I think it was what someone else mentioned, fully unbuttoned from under the bust with bump/legs/underwear showing.

Definitely weird and awkward for your dad to call it “erotic” in front of you, OP. On the bright side at least you know now that he’s prudish and can be very selective about the pictures that you share with your parents to avoid more weird and awkward comments. 😅

Heavens! I think your photos sound lovely, OP. I’d ignore all the snobby remarks — there’s really nothing superior about mocking other people’s harmless tastes and pleasures.

I wish you a safe birth and much happiness with your baby and family.

I think he's misused erotic and meant intimate from the context, and I understand where he's coming from in those circumstances. My sil had some photos done too and I felt the same, like they weren't for me to see.

Maternity shoots - not my cup of tea, but I've seen some beautiful ones. And I'm happy to look at friends' or family members' photographs.

Pregnant bellies - beautiful and fine to celebrate/enjoy. I wish I had photographs of me when pregnant, and my mother when pregnant with me.

Maternity shoots dresses which are sheer or which are open from belly downwards - beautiful to show to DH/DP. A little embarrassing for anyone else to look at and find an appropriate response to - especially parents and parents in law!

I wouldn't want to see my MIL/FIL/BIL/SIL covered only by pants and chiffon from the torso downwards, and I'm confident they'd feel the same about me!

You're pregnant, so what - we've seen it all before.

Is this what you say to close friends and relatives who are pregnant?

I’m amazed at how mean some of these respones are. I can only think that people are jealous: either they feel sad that their time to be pregnant and have babies is done, or maybe that they never felt cared for during that time?

Personally I don't like seeing pregnancy bumps on show, I don't like the stretched skin etc, but that's a me thing. I would never breathe that in real life.

Why on earth are gender reveals regarded as normal?
From time immemorial women have become pregnant and given birth. It is a natural human function. And pregnancy has been the source of joy to many, and also sadness, fear, shame, and countless other emotions.
I just think it's so sad that we now have a generation of people who think it's normal that life events like pregnancy have to be played out in the public domain. Just like the sad people whose very existence has to be justified by continual selfies even basic human activities like pregnancy are only real if they are photographed and posted for the whole world to ratify.
What has gone wrong that people are so insecure in themselves that every thing in their lives has to be played out for social media likes.

The bitter fun sponges are out in full force I see.

Nothing wrong with a maternity shoot if that's your thing OP. I wouldn't take your parent's comments to heart. My Dad would probably make an awkward comment about me showing him a photo of myself with my bottom half exposed too, even if it was done tastefully. Some maternity shoots do look a bit inadvertently 'sexy'.

OP you have taken some of these comments so well. Good for you.

I haven't voted YA or AN BU because it's a personal choice and we haven't seen the photos.
It wouldn't be for me though, I felt like a big, sweaty beach ball when I was pregnant and I definitely wouldn't have felt like having special photos of it.
I also would feel very uncomfortable sending my dad photos of me half dressed.

@Ttcgirl89

I love your sense of humour. Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Revealing your naked gut.

Noone wants to see anyone else’s maternity photos.

The very fact you think it's normal just shows how warped life is now

I think what’s changed is the statistics: people know both they and their baby are extremely likely to survive the birth, so they celebrate earlier. “Warped” or perhaps amazing, compared to the rest of human history.

While it's of course possible for a picture of a pregnant woman to be erotic (and the first picture posted in this thread probably comes across that way to many people), it doesn't sound like yours was inherently erotic and I'd probably dismiss the claims here that it must be from people who haven't seen the actual pics. You've seen plenty of these types of pics before; use your own judgement.

It's at the very least mean of your dad to say this and go on about it, including "bantering" with your brother over it, and of your stepmother to chime in when it must be obvious that eroticism isn't the intention of these pics and it would have been weird as fuck of you to send it to your dad if it were.

So yes: I would not be embarrassed, I would side-eye the dad, and unless you have other reasons to think he and your stepmum are pervy creeps I'd try to stop thinking about it. It's not like you sent him 50 copies of the pic in gold frames to be displayed in each room of his house; it was a digital pic that you shared with someone you mistakenly thought could handle it. I'd not send him any pictures of the baby that show skin, though - if he's conflating partial nudity with sex (not that unusual if he's otherwise prudish, but still disappointing) don't give him further opportunity to be weird and inappropriate.

Well, that sounds like its a one off. Which is a good sign and means you can put it behind you with no worries.

I guess the Preg Photos are Marmite for you both.

Personally I think its great that people celebrate their bumps these days.. When I had my first it was treated as incredibly weird, with people at work asking me how could I bear it, what about diets... all the negatives. etc..

Celebrating it and seeing the beauty in it is a lovely thing.

Enjoy it. and your lovely baby x

The OP has repeatedly said that these pictures are not for social media? What about her post suggests that these pictures were ever intended for the ‘public domain’?

Maybe erotic was the wrong choice of word and what he is feeling is a bit uncomfortable at something he (or his generation) would consider private.

Thank you.
Haha that’s fair enough! A lot of women feel like that when pregnant I think.
I guess I didn’t feel like it would be weird because I feel close to my parents and they aren’t old or ‘traditional’. They are mid fifties but like a young mid fifties

Hopefully this is it!! It’s the word erotic that weirds me out.

I wouldnt say hate, but if i walked into your house and saw that I'd form several opinions about you, none complimentary.

Thank you @DuckbilledSplatterPuff 🩷

I can't visualise this at all. Your DH was standing there fully dressed, with you standing next to him in a dress with buttons down it, and you've got the middle few buttons undone with your belly sticking out of the gap? That doesn't sound erotic, I'll give you that.