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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Parents said my maternity photos were “erotic”

400 replies

Ttcgirl89 · 14/09/2025 13:42

I had maternity photos taken on the beach when I was pregnant. I live in Australia and am from NZ and recently my parents came to visit us and meet our baby. I was looking through photos and my dad said that the maternity photos were “erotic” and my stepmum agreed. My brother asked what we were talking about and my Dad was like “you don’t wanna look at them, they’ll make you blush”.

I sent the photos to them after I had them done months ago and I thought they were so lovely and special. They were taken at “our beach” where my husband and I swim in summer I am wearing a dress in all of the photos and my bra is covered, with the buttons down the front undone to show the belly. My husband and I don’t see anything erotic about these photos at all and I was shocked that they thought that. I feel really awkward and embarrassed now that I sent them to them if that’s what they thought about them!

Is this a weird reaction to seeing your daughter’s maternity pictures?

OP posts:
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Ttcgirl89 · 15/09/2025 00:17

Foundress · 14/09/2025 20:45

Photo with buttons on dress undone for yourself and DH.
Photo with buttons on dress done up for family and friends.
It’s called decorum sadly lacking in today’s modern world.
What is a bogan?

Like white trash, but make it Australian 🇦🇺

OP posts:
Ttcgirl89 · 15/09/2025 00:19

pottylolly · 14/09/2025 19:06

These are so cringe lol

I get that people think they are cringe, that’s not really the concern. It’s that my parents think they are erotic! Which I don’t think they are at all.

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Ttcgirl89 · 15/09/2025 00:23

OneFunBrickNewt · 14/09/2025 16:46

Eyecatching for sure!
My wife wouldn't have wanted these, but each to their own of course.
https://www.chadjweed.com/rates

He seems to make a lot of money out it, depending how busy he is of course.

lol, I had a look and i do see these as being erotic and I think the ones taken in a studio tend to look quite tacky but I don’t think that about ones taken in nature. I don’t think my photos had this erotic tone to them lol

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Ttcgirl89 · 15/09/2025 00:28

minishiteboard · 14/09/2025 17:39

Op

I hope you are still giggling along

My next tip when you see a pic of your dad on holiday is to reply with a very arch ' ooh a bit erotic dad'

point will be made and everyone will lol

I sure am 😅
lol that’s a good one 🤣

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Ttcgirl89 · 15/09/2025 00:31

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 14/09/2025 17:55

From a male perspective, yes. Something being erotic isn't really related to how naked someone is. For instance, underwear and bikini = just as much skin revealed, yet a woman in her underwear is far more erotic than bikini. Equally, a woman fully dressed yet revealing some skin that wouldn't usually be revealed could be considered more erotic than in a bikini.

For work last year, I had to spend more time than I'd like looking through something called the Amateur Voyeur Forum. Involved a lot of people scouring through photographers websites trying to find unpassworded boudoir galleries and the like. Maternity galleries seemed to be very very popular on there, so some people at least definitely find them erotic.

This is an interesting perspective, thank you for sharing.

also, what on earth do you do for work? 🤣

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OwlBeThere · 15/09/2025 00:33

Shortdaysalready · 14/09/2025 13:56

Oh how sad.

It’s not sad just because other people like to celebrate things in a different way to you.

Ttcgirl89 · 15/09/2025 00:36

ItsNotMeEither · 14/09/2025 18:00

I'm in Australia, on the Gold Coast and I've never personally come across a maternity shoot on the beach. I'm sure that they do happen though.

I'm sorry, as this will probably sound offensive, but they do seem to be a certain demographic that has them, I'm thinking cashed up bogan. I'm prepared to be wrong about that though, as maybe everyone is getting them, but only the cashed up bogans are sharing them online.

My guess is that your mum and dad are from an era that just didn't do these things at all. Film was expensive, getting photos developed was more expensive and so this is a far more recent phenomenon. That said, when a friend has posted theirs or shared them with me, I've always made a nice comment. It's a shame that your parents weren't a little more tactful. It's possibly a bit like thinking about your own parents having sex. Nobody wants to think about that. For your parents, they're probably really looking forward to your child being born, but they don't want to think about how this happened.

Honestly, if you want some nice photos of you and your growing baby, then go ahead. They will be lovely memories, for you. They're really not for anyone who you're not close to though, and possibly not for the older generation.

LOL I’ve never thought of myself as a Bogan (cashed up or otherwise) but who knows 🤣

yes I certainly don’t want to think about that 😳

good point, not for the older generation 😅

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Itisallastruggle · 15/09/2025 00:39

I think your parents probably struggled to articulate how they felt and erotic was maybe not exactly what they meant. However, I think these kinds of photographs are intimate and mostly only shared between couple. For others looking at them, when the couple are together, it can appear sexual, like ‘look what I put in my partner/wife.’ This tends to be the stuff that parents don’t want to think about.

Whilst I’m sure they’re happy you’re pregnant, I doubt they want to think about how it happened and won’t marvel over your belly in the same way you willl. I felt quite sexy whilst pregnant (I finally had boobs for one) but I wouldn’t have wanted my parents to see that in me and I’m sure they wouldn’t either. I would have been happy though for DH to see that.

Ttcgirl89 · 15/09/2025 00:39

Delphiniumandlupins · 14/09/2025 18:05

Could you not have found something to wear that showed off your uncovered belly, without making it look as if you were in the middle of getting undressed? I think that's the element that will have made your father feel uncomfortable?

I definitely could have found something like that! But I wanted my belly on show 😅 I see now that a lot of people think that’s weird but I think it’s weird to hide your pregnant belly in a maternity photo lol. But that is coming from someone who does think that pregnancy is grim and pregnant bellies are revolting so I guess that’s the difference 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Ttcgirl89 · 15/09/2025 00:43

WaryHiker · 14/09/2025 16:04

There is an Aussie and NZ board, but I imagine most Australian respondents are like me and will never have seen them happening at any Australian beach we've been to.

I could be wrong ...

okay, the question isn’t whether you have personally seen maternity photos being taken irl. It’s whether it is weird that my dad thought my maternity photos were erotic

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Ttcgirl89 · 15/09/2025 00:45

seagullstolemypie · 14/09/2025 16:09

In that case you have put a different aspect to it and I can see why you may want to share with loved ones overseas who do not get to see you, but, (there's always a 'but') perhaps more tasteful to keep the skin covered?

Have you had the baby yet? Knowing you are growing a much wanted new human being is special and don't let anyone tell you differently. 🙂 I wish you all the best for a successful and drama-free delivery.

And yes, I like your sense of humour and grace, too.

Thank you ☺️ baby is here now, it certainly wasn’t a frame free delivery but he is happy and healthy now 😊

thank you ☺️

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Ttcgirl89 · 15/09/2025 00:47

Change2banon · 14/09/2025 16:34

I’d reply with “if you think that’s erotic, wait til I show you the video of us putting the baby in there” 🤔😁😁

🤣🤣🤣🤣 wish I’d thought of that

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Overtheatlantic · 15/09/2025 00:50

I don’t know if anyone has mentioned it yet but this started in popular culture with Demi Moore. She covered a magazine in the early 90s I think, heavily pregnant and wearing a shirt strategically open. I remember it being hugely controversial at the time but it obviously appealed to people over the years.

user1492757084 · 15/09/2025 00:51

LOL They are being honest.
You have an open communication with your parents which is something to value.

Other people's pregnant photos often look cringeworthy.
Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder with these intimate pictures.
Treasure them, Op.

Ttcgirl89 · 15/09/2025 00:52

Overtheatlantic · 15/09/2025 00:50

I don’t know if anyone has mentioned it yet but this started in popular culture with Demi Moore. She covered a magazine in the early 90s I think, heavily pregnant and wearing a shirt strategically open. I remember it being hugely controversial at the time but it obviously appealed to people over the years.

OMG when I said to my dad that I was getting maternity photos done he said “what, like Demi Moore?” 🤣🤣🤣

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Bones101 · 15/09/2025 00:56

Ugh don't mind them. Very old fashioned! I'm sure they are fab photos.

Ttcgirl89 · 15/09/2025 00:56

BigBirdOfPrey · 14/09/2025 16:00

I wore a nice bodycon dress when I was pregnant, a family member said to me, what ever happened to tunics they wore to hide the bump.
Maybe that’s the same generation as the folk who upset you?

Like being pregnant is something to be totally ashamed of!

After all these comments I’m tempted to make a poll “if you think pregnant bodies are disgusting, are you old?” 😅 surely people from my generation and younger don’t think this (I’m a millennial)

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VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 15/09/2025 00:57

Ttcgirl89 · 15/09/2025 00:31

This is an interesting perspective, thank you for sharing.

also, what on earth do you do for work? 🤣

Haha, nothing particularly exciting!

I'm IT for a small company. We had a guy last year who was looking at porn on a company laptop, so I had the joy of going through his web history to ensure we had enough proof to sack him, and when we found he'd been using company equipment to post on that forum, we felt we had to check he'd not done anything illegal. Luckily for us he hadn't.

Ttcgirl89 · 15/09/2025 00:58

YelloDaisy · 14/09/2025 16:41

I'm in my 70s - when I was pregnant in the early 80s you disguised your bump, smock type tops etc - people would have been horrified if you'd worn a bikini or shown a bare bump. There were swimming costumes but they had a skirt bit from the bust to hide the bump. Perhaps they are looking at it from this point of view and just haven't caught up with modern attitudes.

I guess you must be right. I always thought of my parents are young and cool and quite modern but maybe not as much as I thought

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Ttcgirl89 · 15/09/2025 01:00

Pyjamatimenow · 14/09/2025 16:04

I think maternity photo shoots are a bit self indulgent and a lot of people don’t wont to see your pregnant belly. The only audience for those pics is you and possibly the baby when it grows up. Even then I think they’d prefer not to see the bump actually out. I wouldn’t share them with anyone.

Oh I agree, they are definitely self indulgent! But if you can’t be self indulgent when pregnant, then when?

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Ttcgirl89 · 15/09/2025 01:03

fatphalange · 14/09/2025 15:27

I’m sure she WGAF 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP that is so gauche of your dad and stepmum to say! How awkward. LOL at all the posts claiming to not comprehend maternity shoots. I’ve never had one but they are a completely usual photo shoot. Bizarre to sexualise and even more bizarre of your parents to do so!

I find it bizarre too!

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Overtheatlantic · 15/09/2025 01:04

Have you seen the current thread about a child telling her mom that she thinks it’s gross that she was “in her belly” and if you could buy your child from a shop which one would it be? It’s a great thread and and an interesting perspective about what children potentially think about their pregnant mums! 😂

MrsBungle · 15/09/2025 01:06

They probably used the word erotic because you’re half undressed in the photos. People don’t usually share half undressed photos so it probably felt a bit weird to them

WaryHiker · 15/09/2025 02:03

Ttcgirl89 · 15/09/2025 00:43

okay, the question isn’t whether you have personally seen maternity photos being taken irl. It’s whether it is weird that my dad thought my maternity photos were erotic

I was answering the claim that they are happening every time you visit a beach. But as I said later, maybe it's a Perth thing rather than a Sydney thing.

MsAmerica · 15/09/2025 02:07

Are you not aware that not so long ago, deliberately showing your belly was considered EXTREMELY improper?

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