To be disgusted with my DD uni accommodation, pics included?

[DumpedByText]

My DD has moved four hours away to her uni accommodation today.

We got in her room and it was filthy, there is a huge burn mark in the middle of the carpet where someone has put a hot pan down. The desk has a burnt circle so has the windowsill. There is mould all around the window that won't come off.

The toilet seat is falling off, there was a leak under the bathroom sink. Cobwebs everywhere and she has no wardrobe. It's a cupboard with a hanging rail on wheels.

The kitchen had rotten food in the fridge and freezer. The oven had thick grease as did all the cupboards. One mum had already scrubbed that by the time we got there. I've scrubbed the rest of the kitchen. Water from the sink drainer pours into the cupboard underneath to.

So am I expecting too much? What can be done, if anything about the burn marks and mould.

I've had to buy more storage as there were no shelves due to no wardrobe, the other rooms have half hanging and shelves and this is supposed to be a premium plus room!

There is no room for a wardrobe either and she doesn't want to move flats.

She's cried and cried as she wasn't fussed on going anyway so this has made it worse and she doesn't want to stay.

Can I insist they sort it, and what would you do?

Having just dropped my child off i can confirm I would have been pissed off at this. Paying nearly £200 a week and it needs to be up to standard. Just because it’s uni halls doesn’t mean you should accept all these problems. Some really batshit posters on MN. Complain. Keep complaining until something is done. I would happily help and support my child in doing this and totally understand why yours is upset. If she already is unsettled by her choice to go to uni then I can imagine this has only compounded things further. Going to uni can be very overwhelming. Crying is not an over reaction and actually a very good way of dealing with stress. Hope it all gets solved. Sounds like you are doing a great job.

@DumpedByText your poor child. This should be an exciting time for them, new adventures and opportunities. No one should have to move into a new home and find mould, cobwebs and broken glass, let alone the other problems.

You sound like a great mum and are making the most of the grotty situation. Well done for encouraging your disabled child to even be brave enough to leave home and go to Uni.

As others have said, send your photos to the accommodation services, she should not be paying £200 for shoddy accommodation.

For those that “dropped off and went to lunch”; your children are so resilient that they can deal with all the hardships that life throws at them, but maybe get used to never seeing them when they decide they need no help from you whatsoever in future and bugger off.

OP sounds like she’s supporting her daughter and guiding her appropriately. She will always know she can ask mum for advice. That’s what we’re here for.

We don’t stop being parents just because our children have got to 18.

I agree. This is the point where you can ask for a different room/ different accommodation. Please do.

Hard to say. I clean uni students accommodation after they leave, in preparation for new tenants. I do houses for private landlords though, not on the campus. Most of them are shabby and similar to the pics you've provided. But in the majority of them, the houses are left in a state, ciggy butts and bottle lids stuffed down couches, property left unaired so house stink of mould, toilets and showers that have never seen any cleaning fluid, condoms and old knickers under the bed. So I get why they aren't given the best of the best.

I think we have such high standards for our own homes these days that uni accommodation will always seem poor in comparison.

That said, it should have been properly cleaned. Did you pay a deposit? I’d be surprised if the previous occupant got their money back. Therefore send pictures of the tenant caused damage to the property company so that you can’t be blamed and your deposit remains in tact.

Agree with other not to treat this as a disaster. Have a trip to Dunelm and spruce it up.

Make sure you have pictures and preferably an email trail of the damage or she’ll be charged at check out.

Definitely kick up a stink. Dont wait until tomorrow. Uni halls have someone on site every day.

You want all the repairs this week, toilet seat and sink should be easy. Mould will be harder but insist

Is there a list of what is included ? Does that say wardrobe? Again insist in what it lists.

Which uni is this? My DS was at Liverpool last year and they were great with a weekly cleaner.

I completely agree with @Anewuser . Uni accommodation used to be dreadful, we also used to live in caves. Uni accommodation did not used to cost £200 a week, topped up by family.

One if my DCs is ND and suffers from depression. Fairly quiet, they would not want to make a fuss and the room the OP’s described would send them into a downward spiral.

Great for everyone who has really robust kids who would see this as a life lesson, suck it up, make a noise, etc.. Neither parents or their young people are made equal.

I would be dealing with this in no uncertain terms.

Why is she there if she doesn’t want to be?

I can’t believe those people saying there’s nothing wrong and she needs a bit of resilience. I’m betting the room costs between 5-8k a year-that’s shoddy and they’ve had all summer to sort those things out. I’ll bet they’re not in the shiny student brochure. The mould needs sorting out. I can’t believe things haven’t moved on from when we arrived at my dd’s place and the whole room stank of sweaty trainers. She went down to the office and complained and they sent someone out to clean the carpet and fix her shower leak. Your dd needs to do the same. Otherwise they’ll think it’s acceptable.

Sorry this has been your experience. I remember moving into halls and it being a bit run down and tired but otherwise fine. My cohort were the last to live in those halls - they were pulled down the following year. Aesthetics are one thing but it needs working facilities.

Completely reasonable for you to be involved in the complaint oP. You’re probably paying for it. And you’ll probably do a better job at this stage of kicking up a stink. Get your daughter to galvanise others on her corridor though, so the complaints stack up.
I always laugh when posters think a switch gets flicked at 18 and children are suddenly responsible for everything. It’s a process. I have a very well functioning 27 and 30 year old, and I’d have stepped in at this stage, and yet somehow they can still ‘adult’ now without me.

I'm joking about the competitive parenting that suggests the faster you can leave your children and the less help you give them the better job you've done.
In reality no one was ever harmed by being offered a little practical help in the midst of moving. Theres quite enough on their plate settling into a new home and starting a new life, without being told to faff about with an ap to sort out disrepair on the first day, so their parents can hot foot it back home.

The burn marks and so on, the wardrobe provision not being ideal - that kind of thing is standard for rented accommodation - it's normal for it to be a bit shabby and not furnished exactly as you'd want.

It absolutely should have been cleaned between tenants, though. You could ask the university to reimburse you the reasonable costs of cleaning it. Your DD and her roommates are lucky they've got parents to pitch in and help clean it. In my day, 30+ years ago, your parents left you and your piles of possessions in whatever dump you'd landed in, and buggered off 😄

Dropped her on the hard shoulder?? Luxury! Shouldn’t be coddling her like that. I dropped mine straight out of the womb with nowt but a bit of stale bread to be going on with and he coped fine…

When I was a student, accommodation was awful but it was cheap. I’ve discovered recently that accommodation is still awful but now they charge a premium.
a complaint is definitely needed. Hopefully you can make it nice for her with rugs, cushions, lamps and pictures.

All I can say is - wait until your DCs are in their second / third years and live in a shared house not Halls! Then you’ll really know what grim accommodation looks like 😂
My DDs first house share was shocking - she had a loft room with a Velux window directly above her bed that wouldn’t close and had no blind. The door wouldn’t close as the wardrobe blocked it. The shared bathroom still had a shower curtain in which was black with mould and as stiff as a board with grime. No toilet seat, blocked sink, no radiator. The kitchen was absolutely disgusting. When we went to drop some stuff off before she started the landlord showed us round. I took photos and told him in no uncertain terms that the rent would be withheld until the serious stuff was sorted out. Fortunately by the following week most of it was sorted. But oh my god what a hell hole!
It was, according to DD, the best year with the best friends 😂

This, what a good response.

We paid £200 a week for DDs halls last year, in her first year. It was a small ensuite room which was clean and with a couple of small 'wear and tear' marks, which is to be expected. This is more than that and I wouldn't be happy about paying a lot of money for that and I don't think it's acceptable at all.

Some of the posters on here need to raise their bar a bit and it's such a shame that so many seem to think that it's odd or weird to help your child just because they're a adult. I'm glad I didn't have that with my own parents and my own DC don't have that with us.

When I was at uni 30+ years ago, the university accommodation was usually basic but it was cheap and I had a grant to help pay for it. We also only had to pay the rent for the length of the university terms.
Now they charge for 40 plus sometimes upto 52 weeks which means many people I know are paying more for the child’s uni room than they do for their own mortgage.. not unreasonable to expect the room to have been cleaned ..
I do remember though on arrival at a really grim room at uni, my mum trying to be desperately positive and encouraging but the only thing she could think of to say was , “well it’s got a cupboard..”

I’m thinking this. She doesn’t really want to go to uni, so she’s finding reasons to dislike it. I understand why, makes sense.

Perhaps she could withdraw, work for a year or two, then try again. She could save up for some slightly higher quality accommodation in the meantime, and be clearer about the course/uni.

If she wasn’t fussed about going, why has she gone?!
I think that’s probably more important at the moment, if she was excited about this next step, with a little bit of an anxiety mixed in a grubby kitchen etc wouldn’t be too awful but if she didn’t really want to go etc then it’s going to be an expensive steep learning curve if she’d rather be elsewhere.
The leaking drain should be fixed as as you say once the rugs down it will feel a lot nicer but every disappointment is going to 1000 x harder for her if she truly doesn’t want to be there.

Why are you making her go if she doesn’t want to?
You are setting her up to fail, much better she goes when she wants to.
Get accommodation to clean and fix what needs fixing, but the most they do for the carpet is provide the money for a rug.

That is disgusting.
I would absolutely be making a complaint about the condition and filth of it.
No way would I not.
I would also be informing the university of the appalling condition of the place and ask are they aware of it and stand over such filth?

Create a noisy paper trail.
Clearly the accommodation was given out as it was left.
Food in the fridge is a health and safety issue.
Make noise.
Look for a refund.

Make video of it to and tell them it would make a nice media story.

It is different from when I was a student in the 90s. I lived in accommodation at times that wasn't fit for purpose but I wasn't paying for it - the state was. I agree OP, I will be paying nearly £800 a month and I will definitely complain if my DS's room has problems when I drop him off next week as I am paying for it! It is not about them being independent as the Government have stated that they are dependent when it comes to finances until they are 25!