To be disgusted with my DD uni accommodation, pics included?

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My DD has moved four hours away to her uni accommodation today.

We got in her room and it was filthy, there is a huge burn mark in the middle of the carpet where someone has put a hot pan down. The desk has a burnt circle so has the windowsill. There is mould all around the window that won't come off.

The toilet seat is falling off, there was a leak under the bathroom sink. Cobwebs everywhere and she has no wardrobe. It's a cupboard with a hanging rail on wheels.

The kitchen had rotten food in the fridge and freezer. The oven had thick grease as did all the cupboards. One mum had already scrubbed that by the time we got there. I've scrubbed the rest of the kitchen. Water from the sink drainer pours into the cupboard underneath to.

So am I expecting too much? What can be done, if anything about the burn marks and mould.

I've had to buy more storage as there were no shelves due to no wardrobe, the other rooms have half hanging and shelves and this is supposed to be a premium plus room!

There is no room for a wardrobe either and she doesn't want to move flats.

She's cried and cried as she wasn't fussed on going anyway so this has made it worse and she doesn't want to stay.

Can I insist they sort it, and what would you do?

The mould, leftover food, cobwebs, loose toilet seat, leaky sink and lack of wardrobe/storage options are not ok, the accommodation team need to get those things fixed. The cosmetic stuff is not important and easily covered with rugs or sticky back plastic.

This!
it’s completely normal for an 18 year old to be upset by this situation. They are already stressed: new accommodation, new course, making friends, living independently and completely normal for parents to be supportive and help.
we all appreciate help in stressful situations regardless of our age!
I think the standard of accommodation described is poor: rotten food, leaks and mould are certainly not acceptable and suggest the accommodation has not been cleaned properly or checked.

Parents are more involved as they are usually paying for it. Min loan of £4900 won’t cover accommodation, lots of parents pay full cost of accommodation. £8000, £9000 a year isn’t uncommon in uni owned halls, my daughter went in cheapest at £6500.
I’d expect it to be clean and safe.

I agree with this. Keep the photographic evidence. I was in halls nearly 30 yrs ago. It was basic but clean.

Some of these responses seem mad to me. I’m all for young people taking responsibility but it seems to me that there are many middle aged adults who would be somewhat daunted at all these life changes happening at once, let alone making them in sub par surroundings.

Moving house and job and moving away from family and friends to a place where you don’t know a soul are all regarded as some of the most stressful adult events. Young people moving to university often have all three at once!

Besides all this and with the huge costs of university, being faced with dirty, grim accommodation is a start that would make most people quail a little.

The standard of accommodation particularly the filth and lack of maintenance and basic storage is unacceptable. Complain loudly and name and shame.

This ^ a lot of discussions on here show that parents pay for the accommodation in full and the student lives off their loan. Last year my son's uni halls of residence cost £8k, minimum loan would not cover that. They were immaculate and smelled nice too. We have experienced 5 years of student accommodation. All of it was clean.

Cosmetic stuff in older, cheaper accommodation I could let slide but not rotten food in cupboards and broken toilet seats. I would be the one voicing my frustration about that to whoever is in charge.

Just for some comparison- when I was 18 I exited the care system and was housed in some absolutely grim places, they were both unsanitary and full of dangerous people. I had absolutely no choice about it.

I know we all have different starting points, but to my perception the reaction here is very over the top. The crying may suggest she needs to work on her resilience. It rather sounds like she hasn’t had to anything on her own though, so I guess she’s feeling anxious all round.

I went to uni a long time ago and whilst the halls were basic, they were clean and fit for purpose. Once we all moved into private rented it was a different story. Just moved my son last week and his room is spotless, it’s definitely a better looking place than I had. It is expensive but expectations are higher than they were when I went. The pictures I’ve seen on the class WhatsApp group look similar.

I know these 18 year olds are young adults but dropping them very much in the deep end seems unkind. I’d be helping her sort it in this position. That said, my son has already sorted a repair without our help, just as well, we’re 100s of miles away. I see uni as a bit of a halfway house where they move to independence with a bit of scaffolding, especially in the first weeks.

Name and shame the uni here!

Ours were totally shit and redeveloped a few years after I left. They were about 30 years old when I lived there!

You just have to get on with it.

It's a long time ago (15 years) since we first dropped off DD for uni. She was in halls at Bangor and they were lovely. Quite new buildings IIRC and the room was clean and bright if small. We did get a new desk lamp I think, and she took things like a rug and cushions from home. In your situation I would definitely help her complain (at least it's a learning opportunity for a life skill, but of course I would help her).

I lived at home throughout uni, in a house where I pretty much didn't have to do a thing in terms of chores, life management etc. Real life was a bit of a shock after that!

We viewed halls when our eldest was about to start uni and after weighing up the cost and standard of accommodation decided that it was a better option for us to buy a BTL property that he could live in and then find two housemates that wanted to share. This allowed us to control the quality of accommodation and overall worked out cheaper than him staying in halls for a year followed by two years covering private rented accommodation after this. Bonus then was at the end of his time at uni we sold the property and made a profit.

My halls was much worse than this. I just cleaned it as much as I could and put things on top of marks where possible.

My eldest’s room was basic and very tired. Shared things that broke during the year weren’t fixed - oven, toilets, squirrels running through the loft. They were asked to vacate a week earlier (equivalent refund offered) as the block was to be refurbished. As we moved out, scaffolders were already putting up scaffolding around the building! I expect the accommodation is lovely now!

@5128gap what are you talking about? That post was complete nonsense!

Very helpful to the OP!

Your experience was appalling. The state treats so called ‘cared for’ children poorly. I have every sympathy for you. We should be aiming higher as a society.

Tears are a fairly normal reaction to emotional stress, particularly in a young person. It’s emotionally hard leaving those you love and moving away from family, even for a positive reason. The poster’s daughter’s reaction, even for a kid high on the resilience scale, is not unusual.

Agree with this.

Wise words here. The other students might have more laid back parents and they might find her tiresome if she is seen to be someone to hide behind mummy

I never had a say in my kids’ accommodation, they sorted it all out for themselves. All I did was provide a vehicle to move them in and pay for a few items they needed. They moved into houses with friends the following year, anyway.

And probably psi g a fortune for the privilege! My two DCs have lived in halls, not new ones, and they’ve been ok. My DS had a couple of issues but not like that. Should have been remedied over the summer. Get in touch maintenance or whoever is responsible for this issue.

My gut says "this isn't that bad" but I think I've just become accustomed to the low standard of living I've observed for people in rented properties generally. I think comfortable middle-aged middle-class people often just don't realise what young people in in-demand cities often have to put up with nowadays. (This continues often into people's early thirties or longer, even for professionals.)

Of course you don’t view your halls room - if you’re lucky you get a brief look at accommodation on the open day and can view in the website but that usually it. There are 109s of halls rooms and you get what you’re given. Obviously you don’t have uni-aged children.
Ecen 30* years ago it was the same.

@unsurewhattodoaboutit you sound lovely, bet your DD is glad to be at university.

There is a difference between sending your young person off to uni without being able to cook or do laundry and for them being able to cope with property issues. Everything can feel overwhelming on moving in day (and first few weeks of uni) even for the most independent child. It’s a new situation for them and they can need guidance and support.

Hell, I’m ancient and I can need guidance and support from others at times. Let’s face it that’s what many threads on MN are all about, adults asking for guidance and support.

This has brought back memories of my uni accommodation in the 1990s. When I arrived it was so grim. Vomit on the staircase, and room not clean. My mum tried to sweep up and just churned up a lot of dust. However, it turned out to be a brilliant place to live, despite the grunge. I'd probably be horrified if i saw it now (though I know it's been completely revamped and is now very expensive).