Friend using my credit card.

[BePunnyDuck]

So I owe my friend a significant sum of money- £1300 or there abouts.

I have had a really really tight month. I’m a single parent, DD has been sick the past 2 weeks and as I am self employed I have had zero income as I have been off looking after her.

Friend messaged me yesterday to ask if it was possible if I could send her £100. I only had £80 left in my account, so I told her I would send her the money the next day as my ex was due to send me money for DD, which he didn't until this evening. I had every intention of sending the money when I got his money.

I went shopping today- only for my card to decline. I checked my online banking and my friend has used my card details and paid her phone bill with my money, meaning I couldn’t get shopping. Luckily- my Dad bailed us out.

I asked her about it and her reply was “you said you were sending me money, I had your bank details (from when we booked a holiday together a few months ago) so I used them to pay my phone bill”

AIBU to think this is wrong? I wasn’t avoiding paying her the money, it’s the fact she’s used my card without my permission…

You are being very unreasonable. You also got the title of your post wrong. It should read: ‘I promised my friend to pay back a generous and substantial loan but I have on several occasions, including this week, been unreliable and a few days late. AIBU?’ Focus on paying her back, so she does not need to worry constantly if you’ll pay her back at all. She then won’t feel forced to ‘take’ it back herself; desperate times called for desperate action!

But you wouldn’t be able to pay a bill with just bank details. You’d need either a debit/credit card, so the 16 digit number, the expiry date, and the 3-digit security code.

It is fraud but incidentally if you said you were sending it and she also stole it from your account she would have had it twice!

What do you mean by overpaid her twice? Have you overpaid the loan which means you don't owe her anything? Or you've made over payments on the installments which means you still owe her but not as much.

Cancel the credit card and if you've shared personal bank account details then o0en a new account and cancel your current bank account.

If you have to take a loan out from a friend rather than a bank to start a business, it might mean that your credit rating is poor. I also think you don't have a sense financial responsibility or understanding especially if you share credit card details with a friend. Why couldn't you have saved the money and then started the business.

I'd look for a casual Christmas temp job or online admin job and repay her ASAP. Get an official CMS order for child maintenance and use it on yoyr child. Stop using your kids money to repay your loans & for your poor financial decisions.

Watch this finance video to help you get in control of your finances.

rebeldonegans.com/finance/rfs/course-notes/

Phone your bank and tell them you didn't authorise the transaction (though might be more difficult if you gave her your details). Also ask to cancel that card because you're scared she'll do it again, and have a new one issued - do NOT give anyone else the details.
You do need to pay her back, but not from money meant for your DD! Instalments will be a better option, paid into her account (that will be a record). I understand her wanting the money back, but peoole also shouldn't lend what they cannot afford to lend!

The details were probably in an email or message that friend hasn't bothered to delete. I don't think you can read anything into that.

The whole thing is a shitshow. Don’t borrow big sums of money from friends. Being a day or two late is “letting her down”. She was unreasonable to use your card details but there’s nothing you can do about it.

Why are you booking a holiday when you’re in debt and barely managing to keep with the payments?

If the child lives with OP it doesn’t really matter does it ? The child is being housed, fed and clothed and all their other needs are being taken care of via OP’s household income.

@BePunnyDuck

Firstly this is fraud so you need to report it to your bank and have the payment reversed. You should also report this to the police. And cancel the card.

Secondly, you need to sort your finances out. If 2 weeks of no work leaves you broke then why are you booking a holiday?!? Holidays are a luxury!

Yes you owe this "friend" money but they have no right to just use your card details.

Completely untrue! Of course OP can do something about it!

I’m guessing the holiday is going to be tension

cc won’t do anything as you have her the 16 dig and exp date and 3 numbers on the back

I’m not saying what she did was right but what you did was wrong

you also said you overpaid her twice. How ? More than £100 a month ?

It doesn't sound like you can really afford to be self employed full time, OP. Get a part time job and run your business around that.

Yes it’s wrong but you were wrong to go on holiday without paying her back the £1300. If you couldn’t afford it you shouldn’t have gone. Was that why you owe her £1300? For the holiday? Cancelling a card won’t have any affect as she didn’t use your card. I don’t understand how she paid her bill just using the details though. If she paid via online banking she would also need your login details. I would be closing the account and reopening a new one.

Why did she need your bank details to book a holiday unless she sent you money? Be very careful in future about what information you give her and make repaying her a priority.

OP says the loan was £2000 borrowed six months ago and there is £1300 left to pay. That being the case OP is ahead with the payments - the agreement was £100 a month. I do agree it’s a bit of a shitshow though. Not least because it sounds as though her friend is waiting on OP’s payments to pay her bills. That suggests she couldn’t really afford to lend her the money in the first place.

None of this adds up.

You lost the moral high ground when you borrowed money from a friend who sounds equally financially incompetent.

Why are spending money on a holiday when you have an outstanding debt to a friend?

If the friend can’t afford to pay her phone bill without your monthly £100 payment, how could she afford to lend you £2000 in the first place?

Can she afford the holiday?

What sort of ‘business’ are you running? MLM?

She was wrong, she’s stealing. Plain and simple.

and youre also totally in the wrong! You cannot say a time and then say “well I had every intention but”. That’s not her problem, just like you need money, so does she. You need to pay her back asap. What you did isn’t okay! Think about her pov, she asked, you said yes and left her hanging with her bill. Pretty bad friend.

Get yourself a part time Christmas temp job and stop spending money on things you can't afford like businesses & holidays.

https://careers.royalmailgroup.com/gb/en/temporary-jobs

https://uk.indeed.com/m/jobs?q=temporary%20christmas&l=&radius=25&from=searchOnSerp&sameQ=1

Get your ex to take your child each weekend, get a Christmas temp job and pay her back.

Same here. I couldn’t even use my card for online takeout. It kept saying my card was declined by my bank. After the fifth try and also trying another card I finally received a OTP.

The OP needs to increase her banking security and also get help from a food bank.

According to OP the loan was six months ago. £2000 and there’s £1300 left to pay, so OP is ahead by £100 if what she says is correct. And that’s where the problem lies with OP - l get the impression that because she’s overpaid when she can, she feels as though she can be a day or two late with no problem. But equally it sounds as though her friend is relying on OP’s repayments, so it sounds as though she couldn’t really afford to lend the money in the first place.

What friend has done is completely unacceptable and frankly l don’t understand her reasoning because if she took the money from OP’s bank account without telling her, she would have been paid twice had OP not realised before she made the payment.

Why didnt you just repay her back instead of booking a hoilday?
She evidently couldnt afford to give you the 2 grand otherwise she wouldnt of been desperate to pay her phone bill. Why did you take a loan off someone whose struggling? Thats a really shitty thing to do.

https://www.better.org.uk/library/services/community-support/start-up-business

Your local library should have these business development advice hubs, join one and find out how to grow your business. You should split your time between a temp job and business growth.

What's your business? I'm guessing it's an MLM.....

l’m a bit confused by this. I’m with Halifax and Natwest and neither of them use OTP when making online payments. All l need is my bank card details.

What a mess. Neither of you can afford what’s happening here. If you can’t pay her back £100 a month on time, how are you living on your business money? Sounds like she couldn’t afford to give you the money either!

My mil just asked me to buy a present for my DC off my phone. She gave me her card to use (while sitting beside me). Transaction went through no problem, no authentication required on her side. And I've never used her card before. So it's not always necessary