Friend using my credit card.

[BePunnyDuck]

So I owe my friend a significant sum of money- £1300 or there abouts.

I have had a really really tight month. I’m a single parent, DD has been sick the past 2 weeks and as I am self employed I have had zero income as I have been off looking after her.

Friend messaged me yesterday to ask if it was possible if I could send her £100. I only had £80 left in my account, so I told her I would send her the money the next day as my ex was due to send me money for DD, which he didn't until this evening. I had every intention of sending the money when I got his money.

I went shopping today- only for my card to decline. I checked my online banking and my friend has used my card details and paid her phone bill with my money, meaning I couldn’t get shopping. Luckily- my Dad bailed us out.

I asked her about it and her reply was “you said you were sending me money, I had your bank details (from when we booked a holiday together a few months ago) so I used them to pay my phone bill”

AIBU to think this is wrong? I wasn’t avoiding paying her the money, it’s the fact she’s used my card without my permission…

@WaterfallSounds Maybe they’ve paid each other’s phone bills over the years, or maybe that type of payment is of a sufficiently low risk that it doesn’t require that level of security. Either way, it doesn’t negate her friend’s sly behaviour.

Why on earth are you booking a holiday when you've got debt with a friend, you cant afford food and maxed out on a credit card?

Clear your debt first.

I'm more at the point of wondering why the hell OP is booking a holiday when her finances are so bad.

Being a day or two late is "letting her down" OP

But she shouldn't have used your details to pay a bill

Because it's still a crime, even if the OP gave her friend the card number. We give card details over the phone all the time and we don't expect the person taking the number to keep the details, or someone who overhears the number etc.

Not every transaction is 2FA. I pay on Amazon all the time and it doesn't ask for a code etc.

I am more surprised that the friend was able to pay for a holiday without the OP's 2FA.

Not paying your friend back is, at worst, a civil matter. What she has done is a criminal offence.

So you're using your ex partners money, which I assume is for your child to pay off a loan that was lent to you to start your business?
Is your child going without things for your pipe dream?

An interesting first post, as they say

My friend took out a phone contract for me in her name years ago.

I had been a victim of fraud after leaving an abusive relationship and had terrible credit which I was trying to get sorted just as I needed a new contract. We didn’t set up any direct debits for me to pay the bill but every month I made the payment by phone.

It usually asks “is the card in your own name press 1 or 2 if it’s in another”
I’d press 2, then it asked for long number, start and expiry date and security code, house number and postcode the card was registered to.

I paid it every month for 2 years with no OTP. I have no phone signal at home and don’t always get asked for one for smaller transactions or with smaller companies. I probably notice it more than most people because I have to go outside and walk down my long drive!

I have also sent my friend my credit card details for her to book a holiday and then just gave her the OTP to finish booking, I have made sure my friend hasn’t stored the details though.

I have a smaller bank with a building society and notice it’s got a few differences to bigger banks.

I can understand why people had doubts about the OP if they have had different experiences but i do find it frustrating when people think life is the same for everyone as it is for them.

It’s fair enough really imagine her phone being cut off because to hadn’t paid her on time and you’re out buying shopping instead of paying her back.
I’m woth your pal to e honest you’ve obviously already given her the card details so she’s just paid her bill because you’d assured her the day before you had het cash.
pay her back asap I’d be mortified lol f I was you 😭 you being off work and having no cash is irrelevant really if you’d promised it back to her yo Needed to give it to her one way or another

You say you have never let her down

Each time you are late you are letting her down

yes she shouldn’t have used your card details but equally you owe her that money and should have paid her even £80 and then £20 - and waited for ex money to buy your stuff

Irrelevant. My maintenance used to come in after I’d paid all the bills etc from my wages each month so it went into my personal spends account. How you organise your finances is no one’s business.

Perhaps because without that business she wouldn't be able to earn money to actually provide everything the child needs? I highly doubt the money from the ex is enough to fully provide for the child without any other income.

So she kept all your details including the authorization number for a few months? How interesting...

Also it's not her problem your ex hadn't paid. Why didn't you ask your dad to lend you the £100 and pay him back rather than be late with a friend?

Agree with this. OP is in a financially precarious position and trying to keep all the balls in the air. All the income goes into a pool and how she organises that is up to her.

Pay money you owe back, i presume the cost of the holiday came before the loan and I also presume you have broken a financial/privacy services law by giving out your number to anyone friend or not

Stop giving credit card details out to random people and pay people back when you owe money

Op i think you should check every credit card transaction since you gave her the card details.

I also don't always need 2step verification on my credit card only for large transactions.

Depending on how your friend got the needed information, you may have trouble claiming it as fraud. If you ever shared the information for her to use, you likely violated the terms of your credit card contract and will now not be to claim it is fraud.

This

Oof. This is why we NEVER EVER borrow money from friends or family. The only exception is if you are destitute and about to be homeless and starving and even then try everything else first.

Obviously, tell the bank to replace the card. Can you borrow the money from a legitimate source just to give her back what you owe her and then phase her out of your life? This friendship will never be right again.

And never borrow money from a friend again, lesson learned I hope.

My thoughts exactly. Should have gotten the Money from her dad. It's so hard to get people to pay what they borrowed

They don’t always come through.
I have a reputable CC from a major bank & I always get asked to verify my details via OTP. I was recently cloned very badly, and it turns out the bank sent a OTP to my phone - except it didn’t send from their system & they could see this on review after. And so somehow the payment was processed anyway. And they toasted my CC. I wouldn’t have believed this was a thing until last month either. But just to say even the OTP thing isn’t perfect.

What she did was theft at best and very likely fraud.

She's no friend.

Turf in your card, get a new one and get a better friend.

Make a payment plan and pay her back.

Technically, she should just keep reminding you until you pay up. Beyond that she should not be doing anything. She was foolish to lend you the money and you were foolish to borrow it. Never and lender nor a borrower be. Cancel your card and never give your details again.