Ungrateful Teens on Florida holiday

[WatermelonWaveclub]

I brought my 3 teens (18, 16 and 13) to Florida to celebrate my eldest's 18th. Honestly it has been a nightmare. Every morning they refuse to get up. We end up leaving for the day's activity hours late. At least one usually refuses to come. Then we end up rushing around with the youngest upset we don't have time to do everything they want. When we get home late and I just want to sleep I am expected to sort food for whoever stayed back at the hotel. Then they stay up late keeping me awake. I'm exhausted!

The main thing they seem to want to do is stay in bed on their phones! Noone seems to worry about wasting a lot of money on activities they don't attend or any thought to making the most of a holiday they are very lucky to be on! No care about me missing out on things I'd like to do or their sibling would like to do. They were fully aware of what the holiday would involve and said they would like to go on the holiday. For example they knew there would be a lot of swimming. One has point blank refused to swim and the other 2 will swim hypothetically but have not once been in the hotel pool with me in almost a week and both just layed on sunloungers on their phones at the water park yesterday.

How would you deal with this situation?

Really? That’s odd because you often post about your youngest at school

And yet here you are @WatermelonWaveclub

On holiday
Starting a mumsnet thread including such martyrish statements as….

When we get home late and I just want to sleep I am expected to sort food for whoever stayed back at the hotel.

Then they stay up late keeping me awake. I'm exhausted!

If they were 3, 6 and 8…. I’d agree

but they’re not

they are 13, 16 and 18. And you’re a single parent?

Is the 13 year old home school or permanently excluded for some reason?

I would take their phones off them.

I Would be pretty pissed off with them, stop letting them walk all over you.

Sit everyone down and have proper conversation and let them know exactly how much this holiday cost and how long you had to work to afford it.

Choose a some days when you expect everyone to go. Then let the older have a day to themselves in between . I really wouldn’t get stressed out about something like swimming though!

As they are all teen take advantage of that, let the older two have a lazy morning. 13 year old can go to the pool etc. Or i would just go swimming by myself if I wanted to go. Go for something to eat, Then take advantage of staying up late by going to the fireworks and doing the rides in the evening.
I definitely wouldn’t be coming back and making them food!

My then 16 & 18 yr old did exactly this on the dream holiday they'd wanted to go on for years.

So I let them. I went by myself and did all the things they wanted to do.

And told them at the end of the holiday that was our last family holiday.

Then 16yr olds degree is now related and she's gutted that she was stupid enough to be on her phone instead of going to explore all these amazing places she'd wanted to go to for years and still wants to visit.

You can't make them OP - stop letting them ruin your holiday. Leave them to it.

I would just write down what you are doing each day what time you are leaving and they need to be ready for - not ready leave them behind

Hats off to you for taking them on hols - you seem like a wonderful parent and want them to have memories! I've got to be honest I'm dreading this to the point my tween is already saying he doesn't want to come on holidays from the get go so we may not involve him when he's old enough to be at home by himself on his bloody phone all day!

Phones are the root of all evil I swear - they have an addiction that is preventing them from enjoying life as they should.

I would bet they posted some SM story that made them look like they were having the time of their life in a Florida water park as well.

I don't have much advice on how to handle the situation, but I hope you can manage to get them to put their phone down and have fun!

I'd tell them if they didn't sort themselves out and start going to things, they will need to pay me back for the wasted money on park tickets etc. Tell them exactly how much a Florida holiday costs and that you didn't spend that money for them to sit in the room on their phones.

Oh don’t be silly
this would be a complete bluff
how they teens these ages “pay back” the OP 🙄

I'd give them a set time to be ready in the morning, and if they're not I'd go off with the youngest one and take the older ones phones with me. And definitely sod sorting out food for them at the end of the day. They're not babies.

Then you have a problem with your youngest child, they cannot dictate what their older siblings do. This def needs to be addressed.

YABU. Let the older teens do what they want, they are more or less adults. After a few days lazing around on phones etc they may want to come with you. I get that it’s frustrating but I would hate to go on holiday with someone who dictates what we do each day. Also, doing the parks in Florida is full on and you definitely need some down time.

I have quite a few teens of similar ages, also a single parent, and letting them do their own thing definitely works for having a harmonious holiday for all of us.
Hope that you manage to enjoy the rest of your holiday 😃.

I am so confused about why none of them are in school.

Is this some crunchy home school no rules situation in which case the advice is different? Or are they all simultaneously school refusers?

Because 16 and 18 year olds don't have to go to school.
The OP said they are starting college and apprenticeships. They haven't started yet.
Have you ever heard of home education? The 13 year old could be doing that.

Which is why I'm asking the question. Home school is outside the "norm" and might impact people's advice.

I don't know any colleges who haven't been back at least last week.

So something's unusual.

Starting college…. It would have started by now

@WatermelonWaveclub the 13 year old should have their phone on a parent control as they're a child.

Personally as they didnt get up in time for their activity, I'd take all their phones and put them in the safe while they are still asleep in the morning, then wake them up and tell them if theyre not showered and dresssed by 10am the phones will remain in the safe.

The 13 year old should have no choice - they're a child.

As for the expectation of food, then tough shit! If they're genuinely hungry they can sort it out themselves.

Stop being such a push over.

Well the op has been all over mumsnet in the past referring to her youngest at school

And they have to sort their own food, they just seem to expect me to which is annoying!

But how does that translate into you having to sort their food? Surely you simply needed to put your foot down on day 1 and make it clear that they could expect all they wanted, it wasn't going to happen.

Through reduced allowances.

How do you know? This is the only thread showing up on AS.

Oh, leave them to it and make the most of the holiday with the youngest one.

If they think they're enjoying themselves messing around on their phones all day, let them.

There'll come a point in the future when they're stuck in the world of work and have limited annual leave and limited funds to spend on a holiday that they'll look back and realise how they wasted this one.

Your 13 year old doesn't get to dictate what their older siblings do.