Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ungrateful Teens on Florida holiday

536 replies

WatermelonWaveclub · 13/09/2025 18:54

I brought my 3 teens (18, 16 and 13) to Florida to celebrate my eldest's 18th. Honestly it has been a nightmare. Every morning they refuse to get up. We end up leaving for the day's activity hours late. At least one usually refuses to come. Then we end up rushing around with the youngest upset we don't have time to do everything they want. When we get home late and I just want to sleep I am expected to sort food for whoever stayed back at the hotel. Then they stay up late keeping me awake. I'm exhausted!

The main thing they seem to want to do is stay in bed on their phones! Noone seems to worry about wasting a lot of money on activities they don't attend or any thought to making the most of a holiday they are very lucky to be on! No care about me missing out on things I'd like to do or their sibling would like to do. They were fully aware of what the holiday would involve and said they would like to go on the holiday. For example they knew there would be a lot of swimming. One has point blank refused to swim and the other 2 will swim hypothetically but have not once been in the hotel pool with me in almost a week and both just layed on sunloungers on their phones at the water park yesterday.

How would you deal with this situation?

OP posts:
MyElatedUmberFinch · 17/09/2025 14:15

WatermelonWaveclub · 17/09/2025 13:46

Yes, only parent

Has the holiday got any better?

WatermelonWaveclub · 17/09/2025 16:23

GlitteryRainbow · 15/09/2025 08:00

I’d charge them the cost of the activities they’ve missed. Tell them you are leaving at whatever time you need to for the activities and you and the youngest enjoy yourselves and don’t miss out. Make clear you aren’t cooking when you get in so if they don’t have whatever catering is on offer they don’t eat unless they make it themselves. The oldest is now an adult. Time to learn some life lessons.

They actually are quite happy to order and pay for a takeaway themselves but it hsd annoyed me that they had wanted me to go down to the lobby to collect it for them!!

OP posts:
WatermelonWaveclub · 17/09/2025 16:27

SilverCamellia · 15/09/2025 08:09

Maybe they see you on your phone all the time and think it’s accepted behaviour. If I was in Florida I don’t think I would be wasting so much time posting on Mumsnet.

I've been on Mumsnet only about 3 times in the evening for maybe an hour. In taxi on a long drive now. So nice try but I'm not on my phone all the time - I'm out doing things everyday!

OP posts:
WatermelonWaveclub · 17/09/2025 16:32

Thank you for all those who gave me sensible advice. Things have improved - I think really clear communication has really helped. We've agreed on the non-negotiables and the leaving times. My youngest is clear on what is happening and when it might just be me and her so getting ready calmly. The eldest was brewing a cold which I think hasn't helped his energy levels. But actually most days they have come out so we're all much happier!

OP posts:
WatermelonWaveclub · 17/09/2025 22:58

LakotaWolf · 15/09/2025 08:15

I’m American, and while I live on the opposite coast from Florida (I live in Southern California), I am VERY familiar with Florida’s weather. People, even Americans, don’t realize that Florida is technically part of “the American South”, which means it is humid, muggy, and disgustingly hot during the summer months, and often well into autumn.

i understand your DS wanted to go for his birthday, but I’m assuming you’re all British and aren’t even remotely used to the grotesquerie that is Florida weather around this time of year.

Not only is it usually somewhere around 30C during the day, it’s so humid that you could probably get your daily hydration intake requirements just by breathing. This means that doing anything feels NASTY, as high temperatures plus high humidity saps your energy, enthusiasm, and your will to live.

To make matters worse, it rains in Florida during the summer/autumn. Like all the time. And thunderstorms and lightning. If you’ve never experienced a rainy day that is high-temperature, it’s awful. People who have never endured “hot day rain” don’t realize that it’s WORSE than “cold day rain”. Your body is like, “wait, the air temperature is warm, I should be drying off” but NOPE, it’s RAINING! Or even if the rain has stopped, the humidity is still 85% so it’s not like you’re going to dry off.

My sister and her friend just got back from a trip to Florida (sister’s friend’s kids live in Miami) and my sister and her friend were physically miserable the whole time. My sister also said they left “just in time”, because apparently a storm is approaching.

I don’t know if you/your DC have been to Florida/the American south/Southeast Asia during the hot and rainy periods, but it’s life-sapping. I would personally never willingly schedule a vacation to those areas during the rainy season.

IMO the situation/your DCs behavior is partially just that your DC ARE being teenagers (despite you insisting they’ve been perfect angels on all previous holidays), but I think a large part of the issue IS that it’s the nasty season in Florida right now, and they probably feel tired, sapped of life and energy, and gross. And being indoors does NOT always help mitigate the effects of a hot and humid climate, but they probably do feel better in the hotel where there’s air conditioning.

You also keep going on about them not going to school - and while I agree that that has no literal bearing on a vacation, it DOES have bearing on their behavior. If they’re homeschooled/have never gone to public school, that does affect their attitude and behavior (i would know; my mother pulled me out of public schooling when I was 13 and it messed me up socially) and you may be seeing new behaviors start to crop up now that they’re on a stressful holiday.

We're used to 100% humidity where we live and no air con so while yes, it's hot, in general we find it much more bearable due to air con than UK weather!

I find the rain lovely too, nice and refreshing. Cold day rain is definitely worse! You just stay cold and wet. Here you just dry off super quick. We did have one proper storm as we were leaving Magic Kingdom - my kids loved it - they were dancing in the rain! I really love the Florida weather and while I think my son has found it a bit hot sometimes, in all honesty I have always found it a lovely climate! I don't understand why they were physically miserable did they not have a nice cold drink, use a fan or go inside? Not criticising, I've heard many Americans express the same but we were all talking about it and none of us have had that experience atall, luckily.

I have no way said they are perfect angels, only I had not experienced THIS particular dynamic before.

And I'm sorry you are 'messed up socially'. Things are very different in the states, though. I'm not quite sure what you mean about not attending school affecting their education. My children have all been at school in the past and all have plenty of friends (hence using phones!!). My youngest is home educated, middle at SEN college and eldest starting a higher apprenticeship.

OP posts:
Returnlamp · 18/09/2025 14:27

WatermelonWaveclub · 17/09/2025 16:27

I've been on Mumsnet only about 3 times in the evening for maybe an hour. In taxi on a long drive now. So nice try but I'm not on my phone all the time - I'm out doing things everyday!

You do realise posts are time stamped don’t you op?

Returnlamp · 18/09/2025 14:28

my kids loved it - they were dancing in the rain!

including the 18 year old DS?!

Needmorelego · 18/09/2025 14:41

Returnlamp · 18/09/2025 14:28

my kids loved it - they were dancing in the rain!

including the 18 year old DS?!

Do 18 year olds not enjoy dancing in the rain ?

Returnlamp · 18/09/2025 14:44

Needmorelego · 18/09/2025 14:41

Do 18 year olds not enjoy dancing in the rain ?

I’ll ask my 18 year old son tonight 😆

WatermelonWaveclub · 27/09/2025 12:41

Returnlamp · 18/09/2025 14:27

You do realise posts are time stamped don’t you op?

Yes!

OP posts:
WatermelonWaveclub · 27/09/2025 12:42

Returnlamp · 18/09/2025 14:28

my kids loved it - they were dancing in the rain!

including the 18 year old DS?!

He was the one who enjoyed it the most! 😂

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread