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Original poster

Ungrateful Teens on Florida holiday

536 replies

WatermelonWaveclub · 13/09/2025 18:54

I brought my 3 teens (18, 16 and 13) to Florida to celebrate my eldest's 18th. Honestly it has been a nightmare. Every morning they refuse to get up. We end up leaving for the day's activity hours late. At least one usually refuses to come. Then we end up rushing around with the youngest upset we don't have time to do everything they want. When we get home late and I just want to sleep I am expected to sort food for whoever stayed back at the hotel. Then they stay up late keeping me awake. I'm exhausted!

The main thing they seem to want to do is stay in bed on their phones! Noone seems to worry about wasting a lot of money on activities they don't attend or any thought to making the most of a holiday they are very lucky to be on! No care about me missing out on things I'd like to do or their sibling would like to do. They were fully aware of what the holiday would involve and said they would like to go on the holiday. For example they knew there would be a lot of swimming. One has point blank refused to swim and the other 2 will swim hypothetically but have not once been in the hotel pool with me in almost a week and both just layed on sunloungers on their phones at the water park yesterday.

How would you deal with this situation?

OP posts:
RubyFlax · 13/09/2025 21:20

Forget the nagging & getting frustrated with them every day - I would be sitting them all down for a family chat/meeting & telling them just how much the holiday had cost & what that means in relative terms you / them.
E.g “I’ve had to work incredibly hard for this holiday, & paying X for this trip is equivalent for X months wages for me (or if they have a part time job even better… work out how many days/weeks they’d have had to work to earn that much money). I’ve booked it as a treat for DC1’s 18th & so that we can all have an amazing experience as a family. You are so incredibly privileged to have been taken on a holiday like this. So many people could only dream of being able to have a holiday abroad, never mind to Florida. You are missing out on real life experiences that you’ll never be able to have again because you want to stare at content on a phone that will still be there when we get home. I am really, really disappointed.
Tomorrow is a new day. We will be doing X and leaving the accommodation at X time. It would mean a huge amount to me if you got up & joined us & were part of our family. If you don’t want to that’s your choice & you can stay here, but you’ll need to find your own food to eat & that’s that. I won’t ever be paying for a holiday like this again as it simply it not worth all the effort I have put in to make this possible. That’s all I’m going to say about the matter, the choice is yours to make”.

Hiptothisjive · 13/09/2025 21:21

5128gap · 13/09/2025 19:56

When you fly East to West the jet lag gets you up at silly o'clock. They should be queuing an hour before the attractions open if it's jet lag to blame.

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Not always. Having flown this route probably over 100 times in my life I and my family have had it all ways especially if you take a nap or wake up at two on the morning, can’t get back to sleep and then go back to sleep on the early morning .

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 13/09/2025 21:22

Did the 18 year old want to go to Florida to celebrate his / her birthday ?

JMary2021 · 13/09/2025 21:23

spoonbillstretford · 13/09/2025 20:38

Maybe because taking someone's phone away over choice of activity on holiday and throwing people in the pool, and warning them of "consequences when you get back" on holiday would be supremely utterly fucking shit parenting and really make for an absolutely delightful atmosphere on a family holiday? Just an idea.

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Agreed! One of them is an adult. They need to find a way to make the most of the holiday and put it down to experience and don't do that type of holiday again.

Sugargliderwombat · 13/09/2025 21:25

Take the 13 year old on time. File the older twos wasted money under idiot tax and move on, they just aren't at those ages. Tell them if they don't come out that's fine but you arent paying for a big holiday for them again.

WhatdoesitmeanKeith · 13/09/2025 21:25

Shitmonger · 13/09/2025 21:12

Worse, a PBP (previously banned poster) that is trying to bait people into engaging with them. Just ignore.

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Thanks for saying. I was thinking they had
lost the plot! Will ignore.

Washingupdone · 13/09/2025 21:26

Bali, I’m sitting on the long sandy beach under the trees admiring the beautiful surroundings, teens in their hut.

Mademetoxic · 13/09/2025 21:27

AliceMaforethought · 13/09/2025 21:07

Why are people giving the OP a hard time about the kids being out of school?! My parents took me out of school to go on holiday all the time. It didn't stop me from getting a first class degree.

Because it's the start of term, and they have had a whole 6 weeks off school.
I hope they get fined, heavily.

It is disruptive to the staff and other pupils when individuals are off school. It's selfish.

Mademetoxic · 13/09/2025 21:28

Needmorelego · 13/09/2025 20:10

Why are people obsessing about "they should be in school" - they could be home educated and/or the 16 and 18 year olds could have actually finished school.
Forget about that part and actually give the OP some advice.

It's the start of term. Of course all children should be attending school/college.

Lobleylimlam · 13/09/2025 21:29

I'm so sorry OP. I understand its hugely frustrating right now when all they want to do is doomscroll and lie down and youve booked things, theyre not considering the cost to you but realistically, they wouldnt as theyve not been on the other end of that yet-paying for thier family to do something and nobody seeming to sppreciate it.

That being said, if thats what the oldest is doing, and this holiday was meant to be to celebrate thier birthday, is this something they even wanted to do? Or something that was picked and just so happens its thier birthday too?

I think i'd personally feel a little annoyed (although EXTREMELY GRATEFUL- I dont have anyone planning anything for me) if someone planned something for my birthday but none of it was to my liking? It feels this is very much a family holiday but youre saying its for the 18 year old. Is 18 even bothered about the holiday really? Would they have prefferred a different present and you maybe assuned they would like this? At that age a lot of people probably want to do more with thier mates than thier family.

You have done a lovely thing btw. Just trying to see it from another angle.

ApiratesaysYarrr · 13/09/2025 21:30

The other thing is to check what they would like to do - maybe they want to do one of the restaurants they have seen on social media (last year I think Raising Cane's was popular)?

Needmorelego · 13/09/2025 21:31

Mademetoxic · 13/09/2025 21:28

It's the start of term. Of course all children should be attending school/college.

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The 16 and 18 year old could be finished with school.
The 13 year old could be home educated.
It's not relevant to the OPs issue.

NJC7 · 13/09/2025 21:32

If you saw someone reading a book whilst lying on a sun lounger would you judge them as well? Unless your teenagers are saying they’re not enjoying their holiday, why get stressed and upset just because they’re not doing what you think they should be doing.

TheCosyViewer · 13/09/2025 21:34

Leave your older teens to their own devices and go out and about with your younger child. Don’t try and cajole them to join you. Refuse to sort their food, other than leave a small amount if money with them to sort food themselves.

SouthLondonMum22 · 13/09/2025 21:42

If it's for your eldests 18th, I'd largely leave them to it. Surely they can spend their birthday holiday as they wish?

If the younger one wants to go out, just go out.

Did the 18 year old want to go to Florida? Did they all have a say over activity choices?

Newmeagain · 13/09/2025 21:44

Vaguelyclassical · 13/09/2025 19:05

Why Florida? The older teens are obviously far too old for Disney and it's a rather flat state with some everglades full of nasty biting things; there are also rather a lot of people in unbecoming red baseball caps. Great beaches, but you didn't need to come to the States for those. (Or to swim in a hotel pool.) You might have done better with a buzzy, interesting city in the US. Or a buzzy interesting city in Europe at a third of the cost. Sorry if I sound snarky, but I'm genuinely interested in the logic here. (But I do sympathize with you--I grew up in genteel poverty and I'd have been down on my knees in gratitude if my own parents took me out of the country!)

I agree - why Florida? I have a 19 year old and she would think I was mad if I suggested a holiday involving Disney, water parks, etc.

Pllystyrene · 13/09/2025 21:45

We had the exact same issue last week! In the end we ended up leaving the older two in bed, going to the parks, getting food, going shopping etc... and then going back to the hotel for dinner before heading back to the parks with the older ones in the evening. The older two missed out on a lot but that was their choice. I also set up a group chat telling them the plans for the next day and letting them vote on what they wanted to do. I also noticed that once I started sharing photos on the group they realized what they were missing out on!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 13/09/2025 21:48

Are the activities already paid for? If so then I'd be tempted to make non-participants pay for themselves out of whatever allowance they get

Bearing in mind that they were "fully aware of what the holiday would involve and said they wanted to go" I'd do the same ... after a prior warning that this is what would happen of course

Otherwise I agree with most others about taking the youngest with you and leaving them to it

MrsOverthinker25 · 13/09/2025 21:51

Vaguelyclassical · 13/09/2025 19:05

Why Florida? The older teens are obviously far too old for Disney and it's a rather flat state with some everglades full of nasty biting things; there are also rather a lot of people in unbecoming red baseball caps. Great beaches, but you didn't need to come to the States for those. (Or to swim in a hotel pool.) You might have done better with a buzzy, interesting city in the US. Or a buzzy interesting city in Europe at a third of the cost. Sorry if I sound snarky, but I'm genuinely interested in the logic here. (But I do sympathize with you--I grew up in genteel poverty and I'd have been down on my knees in gratitude if my own parents took me out of the country!)

Speak for yourself! I head to Disney in 2 weeks for the 14th time and I’m 32. “Too old for Disney” 🤣🤣 I think not. The OP needs to kick her kids up their arses and take their phones off of them. They are ungrateful.

Jaws2025 · 13/09/2025 21:52

There's a lot more to Florida than Disney parks!

Sassylovesbooks · 13/09/2025 21:53

I would be giving them all the time that you're leaving in the morning. Make it very very plain, if they aren't ready to go, you won't be waiting! I'd also make it very plain, that you won't be sorting food out for them upon your return, if they can't be bothered to come out and participate in your holiday. What I wouldn't be doing is pandering to them. If no one is up/prepared to go out/wants to stay behind, then go out and YOU enjoy yourself! Don't waste your holiday pandering to 3 ungrateful teens. Once home, tell them straight, you won't be paying for them to go on holiday again!

MrsOverthinker25 · 13/09/2025 21:56

Mademetoxic · 13/09/2025 21:27

Because it's the start of term, and they have had a whole 6 weeks off school.
I hope they get fined, heavily.

It is disruptive to the staff and other pupils when individuals are off school. It's selfish.

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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 how on Earth is it selfish?? Maybe if they didn’t double the price of holidays during the 6 weeks holidays etc then so many families wouldn’t take their children out of school. I was also taken out of school to go on holidays and I’m doing alright for myself. Ps - they won’t get fined “heavily”, and the fine they do get will still work out cheaper than taking them during the 6 weeks holidays 🤝🏼

hopspot · 13/09/2025 21:59

I think it’s selfish of the parents. Not realising the disruption it will cause to their child/ren. Every child I’ve seen miss the first couple of weeks of term has struggled massively to settle in. It’s much less disruptive to take a child out at the end of the summer term.

Mademetoxic · 13/09/2025 22:04

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FioFioSILK · 13/09/2025 22:04

Took my two teens to st. Lucia for two weeks and they did the same. Says before phones but they wouldn't wake up in the morning. Waited a day for them to be ready. Now they talk about it as if it was the best holiday ever ! I'd definitely mention the cost and expectation as well as getting then to put their phones down to create some memories. Don't tar then next time.