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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ungrateful Teens on Florida holiday

536 replies

WatermelonWaveclub · 13/09/2025 18:54

I brought my 3 teens (18, 16 and 13) to Florida to celebrate my eldest's 18th. Honestly it has been a nightmare. Every morning they refuse to get up. We end up leaving for the day's activity hours late. At least one usually refuses to come. Then we end up rushing around with the youngest upset we don't have time to do everything they want. When we get home late and I just want to sleep I am expected to sort food for whoever stayed back at the hotel. Then they stay up late keeping me awake. I'm exhausted!

The main thing they seem to want to do is stay in bed on their phones! Noone seems to worry about wasting a lot of money on activities they don't attend or any thought to making the most of a holiday they are very lucky to be on! No care about me missing out on things I'd like to do or their sibling would like to do. They were fully aware of what the holiday would involve and said they would like to go on the holiday. For example they knew there would be a lot of swimming. One has point blank refused to swim and the other 2 will swim hypothetically but have not once been in the hotel pool with me in almost a week and both just layed on sunloungers on their phones at the water park yesterday.

How would you deal with this situation?

OP posts:
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 04:38

NJC7 · 13/09/2025 21:32

If you saw someone reading a book whilst lying on a sun lounger would you judge them as well? Unless your teenagers are saying they’re not enjoying their holiday, why get stressed and upset just because they’re not doing what you think they should be doing.

I think it's the amount of money that seems wasted and the opportunities. But yes, I take your point!

OP posts:
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 04:42

SouthLondonMum22 · 13/09/2025 21:42

If it's for your eldests 18th, I'd largely leave them to it. Surely they can spend their birthday holiday as they wish?

If the younger one wants to go out, just go out.

Did the 18 year old want to go to Florida? Did they all have a say over activity choices?

Yes it was the 18yos choice. They had the main say over activities but chose things the others would enjoy too. And yes they can but once activities are chosen, booked and paid for I feel it is a waste to then not use those tickets.

OP posts:
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 04:45

Newmeagain · 13/09/2025 21:44

I agree - why Florida? I have a 19 year old and she would think I was mad if I suggested a holiday involving Disney, water parks, etc.

Because it was where my 18yo wanted to go. My children enjoy swimming, rollercoasters, food from different countries - your 19yo may not but we are all different!

OP posts:
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 04:48

Jaws2025 · 13/09/2025 21:52

There's a lot more to Florida than Disney parks!

There is! Too much! 😂

OP posts:
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 04:53

hopspot · 13/09/2025 21:59

I think it’s selfish of the parents. Not realising the disruption it will cause to their child/ren. Every child I’ve seen miss the first couple of weeks of term has struggled massively to settle in. It’s much less disruptive to take a child out at the end of the summer term.

Go and start your own thread on that then! Stop derailing mine about my 3 kids none of which are in school!! Rather than jump to assumptions maybe engage your brain first!!

OP posts:
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 04:59

RoseAlone · 13/09/2025 22:09

The mistake you made was booking a hotel instead of a villa. You can't expect a good holiday in one and others pockets 24/7.

If they're enjoying their holiday then good on them.

It's always worked up until now so I suppose none of us realised! Will definitely take note.

OP posts:
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 05:04

RoseAlone · 13/09/2025 22:17

Noone in their right mind goes to the parks at opening time no matter how early they're up. That would be downright stupid.

A lot of people do! Many think it is essential! We aren't those types of people though - at least they can't say I was trying to get them to do 'rope-drop' everyday!

OP posts:
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 05:06

Naanspiration · 13/09/2025 22:18

OP, you've had 18, 16 and 13 years to teach each of your children your expected standard of behaviour during holidays.

Did you fully utilise that time?

Well, I've done pretty well then only coming across this issue after 18 years!

OP posts:
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 05:10

CurlyhairedAssassin · 13/09/2025 22:18

I think that if you're going to book a family holiday with late teens it's really important to chuck aside any assumptions about what they'll like and sit down and discuss it properly. The first question should always be "Do you want to come?" because so many parents assume they will want to. If they say they do, then the next question should be "what type of holiday would you enjoy?" If it doesn't match YOUR idea of an enjoyable holiday, then considering you are paying for it, I'd say to them that maybe it's time to go on separate holidays. Maybe offer to pay a little bit towards their own holiday with mates.

If they say they would want to come on the holiday you have in mind, be very clear in your expectations and tell them to be clear in theirs. eg if they say they just want to be able to get up when they like and stay up late and be on their phones as much as possible, suggest that maybe they could stay home and do that as it might not be worth them coming? If they insist they will join in with some stuff, make it clear that it would mean some early morning starts to get out and about and see if they're happy to do that. Or see if they want to invite their friend along (if they pay their own flight etc). Sometimes if they bring a mate along it shakes them up a bit and they're less likely to loll around.

Honestly, there just comes a time when the teens will have their own idea of what makes a good holiday, and sometimes it really doesn't turn out to be what you think it would.

I thought I'd done all that but clearly not enough!

OP posts:
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 05:14

Well one is an adult for a start!! 😂

OP posts:
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 05:17

Lilactimes · 13/09/2025 22:46

I took a 17 and 19 yo to Florida last year. We did 2 days in Universal then went to the beaches Gulf of Mexico side - they were stunning. They loved them and eating out down by the beach and just chilling.

Mine aren't in to Universal. We're going to Clearwater soon! It does look beautiful. I'm glad you all enjoyed your holiday 😊

OP posts:
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 05:20

Anon501178 · 13/09/2025 22:50

This.Sounds like they are used to just thinking about themselves and being allowed to do whatever whenever.
You would've probably been best to discuss phone usage rules before the holiday.They sound quite addicted.
I would be livid that they were being so ungrateful though and would be telling them it would be our last holiday together until they changed their attitude, as i was not paying out for them again.

Clearly my 18yo isn't used to just thinking about himself hence choosing Disney primarily for his sisters. And it wouldn't be such a shock to me if they were normally like this!

OP posts:
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 05:25

Tdcp · 13/09/2025 22:55

"We're leaving at 9, be ready to go or we're going without you"

At their ages they are able to do themselves food.

Don't make the youngest suffer because the older ones are being twits.

Edited

The trouble is the youngest then doesn't want to go as someone isn't coming! I think this just added to the stress!

OP posts:
Serpentstooth · 15/09/2025 05:34

Teens do this. Let them get on with it and enjoy your own holiday.

ruethewhirl · 15/09/2025 05:50

FunBiscuit · 15/09/2025 04:14

Disneyland is out of this world the technology is absolutely amazing we’ll all those parks are mind blowing if you complain about Disney land then you will never be happy in life we never had holidays growing up no money even though our parents worked 7 days week and 3 jobs we ate the same meals every day cabbage carrots potatoes we never went in a car had to walk everywhere never went on the bus parents could not afford we had hand me down clothes never had heating so woke up to ice on our windows there was no adhd that was sorted out with the cane at school this our parents would lock the door when they went to work so we had to go to school we never flew on a plane or went on holiday but we were happy because we had a home and stability which is not available to the generation now because all the houses are overpriced we are overtaxed and everyone is over greedy I am glad I grew up in the 80.s oh yes the phone was locked and we had to use the phone at the end of the road sometimes reverse the charges we used to work 7 days a week so never had time to moan

🤔

Having trouble sleeping, are we?

Daisythepussycat · 15/09/2025 06:12

2015pls · 14/09/2025 18:17

Who paid out of interest?

We paid the flights (cheap); they paid the rest. One of them is a musician (dodgy finances but getting better) and the other works for a charity on a moderate income, but they both live in London so they have little disposable income.

Daisythepussycat · 15/09/2025 06:14

2015pls · 14/09/2025 18:18

@Daisythepussycat in 2003 they were 9 and 11… so what were you saying about parenting teens on woman’s hour!

It was about parenting in general rather than teens specifically.

2015pls · 15/09/2025 06:22

Odin2018 · 14/09/2025 19:00

One word answers dont cut it. What would you suggest?

Nonsense

2015pls · 15/09/2025 06:25

WatermelonWaveclub · 14/09/2025 23:49

Well, there have been countless posts about it! I'm not sure how their education status is relevant? Please let me know if I'm wrong on that??

So you withdrew your youngest from mainstream school? Because you’ve been all over mumsnet in the past talking about her school?

FlappingMadly · 15/09/2025 06:26

Remove the phones. Hope you managed to have a good time.

2015pls · 15/09/2025 06:28

WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 05:20

Clearly my 18yo isn't used to just thinking about himself hence choosing Disney primarily for his sisters. And it wouldn't be such a shock to me if they were normally like this!

So they’re not usually like this
this is a complete shock and has only started since they arrived on this holiday

Well, it would seem this holiday isn’t their cup of tea OP. It’s a shame. It’s a waste. But what you gonna do… force them to enjoy it?

Your youngest needs to get with the programme and not dig her heels in because her siblings don’t want to do what she WANTS to do (stamps feet).

And your older two are adults. They aren’t enjoying the holiday. Maybe they have personal shit going on? Just make the best of it.

2015pls · 15/09/2025 06:29

WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 05:14

Well one is an adult for a start!! 😂

You said it op

So the suggestions to throw the phone in the pool; remove the phone; demand they’re ready by x time…. Is daft.

Leave this adult be

WhelanGrand · 15/09/2025 06:30

Marble10 · 13/09/2025 20:09

i don’t have teens but everyone who does who have been away this year have said the same thing!

I feel like I live in bizarro world sometimes: ITS THE PHONES. Most of the parents today have collective insanity on this issue. I just can’t believe parents don’t impose limits. And yes I have teens who get limited time on their phones, and on holiday whole phone-free days!

Cucy · 15/09/2025 06:45

I would be really upset.
They are old enough to be told that their behaviour is unacceptable and that it is your holiday too.

Most kids (and adults) would dream of having a holiday in Florida or just a holiday and it’s something that the majority can never afford.
They are being spoilt and do not recognise their privilege.

That being said, if they’re out on sun loungers on their phones then I don’t see the issue - most people lie there doing nothing or reading a book. So it’s no different.

I would also compromise and give them down time and later starts - when you read them the riot act say this too.

If it’s a paid activity that starts at a certain time, then they need to be up and ready for it. No one stays back.
Sell it as a photo shoot opportunity that they can post on SM too.

If it’s something that can be shifted, then start and finish later to suit their body clocks.

On down days, they do not need to be in the pool if they don’t want to be.

If you are naturally up early, then perhaps use that time to go swimming with the youngest and have some you time. You could also think about meal prepping and so it’s just a case of them warming their dinner up in the evening.

I would tell them to sort their outfits etc the night before and give them 20mins to get ready in the morning.
Give them a time that you will all leave by, then it’s up to them to decide whether they want to get up earlier to have more time getting ready.

They are being spoilt, however they do not understand how privileged they are and perhaps that’s down to you and DH and you cannot blame them fully.
You also need to remember that this is a tough age where they’re insecure, tired and sensitive. And it’s nothing personal to you.

Odin2018 · 15/09/2025 07:12

2015pls · 14/09/2025 19:01

Don’t cut it
🤭

for you. A random poster who would throw her 18 and 16 year old’s phones in to the hotel pool and somehow expect that the holiday to be a success from that point on.

what a joke

Who said I expected the holiday to be a success? Dont make things up as you go along.