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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ungrateful Teens on Florida holiday

536 replies

WatermelonWaveclub · 13/09/2025 18:54

I brought my 3 teens (18, 16 and 13) to Florida to celebrate my eldest's 18th. Honestly it has been a nightmare. Every morning they refuse to get up. We end up leaving for the day's activity hours late. At least one usually refuses to come. Then we end up rushing around with the youngest upset we don't have time to do everything they want. When we get home late and I just want to sleep I am expected to sort food for whoever stayed back at the hotel. Then they stay up late keeping me awake. I'm exhausted!

The main thing they seem to want to do is stay in bed on their phones! Noone seems to worry about wasting a lot of money on activities they don't attend or any thought to making the most of a holiday they are very lucky to be on! No care about me missing out on things I'd like to do or their sibling would like to do. They were fully aware of what the holiday would involve and said they would like to go on the holiday. For example they knew there would be a lot of swimming. One has point blank refused to swim and the other 2 will swim hypothetically but have not once been in the hotel pool with me in almost a week and both just layed on sunloungers on their phones at the water park yesterday.

How would you deal with this situation?

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 14/09/2025 23:49

They're all phone addicts.

Original poster
WatermelonWaveclub · 14/09/2025 23:51

2015pls · 13/09/2025 20:12

We are all ears @Needmorelego

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All ears as to how their education status is affecting advice on our holiday @2015pls ??

OP posts:
Original poster
WatermelonWaveclub · 14/09/2025 23:55

coxesorangepippin · 13/09/2025 20:21

What did you expect???

If they have phones, yes, they'll be on them???

For them to act like they normally do on holiday!

OP posts:
Needmorelego · 14/09/2025 23:58

I hope the holiday improves.
Can some of the planned activities be cancelled (and not lose money) and you do some different things instead?
There might be some really random stuff that everyone would find fun.
This might sound odd but if I ever went to America I would want to go to a giant Walmart just for the experience 😂

Mademetoxic · 15/09/2025 00:00

WatermelonWaveclub · 14/09/2025 23:47

No

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People obviously wonder when you're away on holiday at the beginning of September with school aged and college aged teens...

Original poster
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 00:02

Due to jet lag I've been up early...more a normal time now but still morning. Lots of activities here are daytime and then we do things in the evening too. I'm tired!

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T1Dmama · 15/09/2025 00:05

WatermelonWaveclub · 14/09/2025 04:41

Yes, I have with the younger 2 but not with 18yo as he's an adult. Such a hard age- they are an adult yet not really! The dynamic seems to have completely changed since our holiday last year!

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San adult yes…. But if you pay the phone bill then go on the app and cancel it, stop paying and get the phone cancelled!

T1Dmama · 15/09/2025 00:28

It’s sad @WatermelonWaveclub .. I hope they’ve been better after your chat!

Original poster
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 00:41

2015pls · 13/09/2025 20:23

”every other post” 😆

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Well, I'm getting fed up of it! But this is AIBU - full of nosy and judgy people who are not interested in helping just derailing threads. It is so predictable and so boring, tbh!

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Original poster
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 00:43

T1Dmama · 15/09/2025 00:05

San adult yes…. But if you pay the phone bill then go on the app and cancel it, stop paying and get the phone cancelled!

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I don't pay for it. He has his own money.

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Original poster
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 00:46

Mademetoxic · 15/09/2025 00:00

People obviously wonder when you're away on holiday at the beginning of September with school aged and college aged teens...

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Well private message me then rather than derail my thread if you are that desperate to know and also not able to deduce it yourself. Anyway as I have said none are in school, no school is being missed - no teenagers harmed in the making of this holiday!

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Endorewitch · 15/09/2025 00:50

So sad to read this. Typical of so many youngsters nowadays. They miss out so much.
I feel really sorry for you. They seem to be very selfish. I assume they are like this at home with few interests,so not surprising they are the same abroad.and incredibly selfish to miss ore paid activities. No wonder you are upset and angry.
Last family holiday for them!!

Original poster
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 00:50

Needmorelego · 14/09/2025 23:58

I hope the holiday improves.
Can some of the planned activities be cancelled (and not lose money) and you do some different things instead?
There might be some really random stuff that everyone would find fun.
This might sound odd but if I ever went to America I would want to go to a giant Walmart just for the experience 😂

We've done that - was one of the things at the top of their list! 😂

And I'm not sure if I have time to cancel anything but sods law the thing I cancel they'd all be desperate to do!

OP posts:
Original poster
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 00:56

spoonbillstretford · 13/09/2025 20:28

Perhaps it is all a bit much and you need chill out days in between activities? Or let them have more say about what they do and what time you leave?

Personally that kind of holiday, theme parks, thousands of people steaming hot humid weather I'd find knackering and it would fairly jangle my nerves and make me want to lie in a dark air-conditioned room for a bit. And half a day doing that after a chilled out morning would be ample.

We are only doing theme parks 1 quarter of the time and never from morning to evening. None of us would enjoy that! But yes I still think with the other activities it has been a bit overwhelming. There was so much they wanted to do and all needed booking so I had to make an itinerary. Usually we are more relaxed!

OP posts:
LBFseBrom · 15/09/2025 01:39

I can't imagine all of you in one room. No way would I have slept with my parents when I was a teenager.

Original poster
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 03:58

Probablyshouldntsay · 13/09/2025 20:28

Lucky devils OP. Feel free to take me next time 😅are they not much into the coasters / theming? Either way I think you’re fine to give them a short swift bollocking reminding them you’re a human and confining the phones to the safe for at least 5 hours a day. They’ll cringe at their behaviour in the future.

They are all in to at least some of it. They just don't seem to have the full idea of time constraints...they think we have time to do the same things multiple times whenever they fancy it! I suppose at the beginning of the holiday time does seem endless! My eldest particularly doesn't cope with crowds but hence coming at a quiet time. Of course the theme parks are still busy but not as hectic as in peak season! I completely understand if he may want to sit out sometimes but he has planned with his sister to go on rides so she is upset if he then doesn't do it.

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Original poster
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 04:05

Everybodysinthehousetonight · 13/09/2025 20:54

This sounds like a wind up. Who is their right mind would choose a holiday like this at this time of year for this age group 🤣

You seem to think every child takes the exact same path in life? You are surely on a wind up?

OP posts:
Original poster
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 04:06

doglover90 · 13/09/2025 20:56

Why are you taking them away at the start of the school year?

Because they are not in school.

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Original poster
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 04:09

tartanhaggis7 · 13/09/2025 21:00

i would tell them how you feel about their behaviour!!! and impress on them that if they don't change then it will be last holiday u take them on (all 3 ) no change then have fun with your 13 year old and forhet the other 2 certainly if they don't join in then no food let them starve they'l soon come round !!! don't forget its your holiday too enjoy

They have their own money so I can't starve them into submission, unfortunately!

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Original poster
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 04:12

RubyFlax · 13/09/2025 21:20

Forget the nagging & getting frustrated with them every day - I would be sitting them all down for a family chat/meeting & telling them just how much the holiday had cost & what that means in relative terms you / them.
E.g “I’ve had to work incredibly hard for this holiday, & paying X for this trip is equivalent for X months wages for me (or if they have a part time job even better… work out how many days/weeks they’d have had to work to earn that much money). I’ve booked it as a treat for DC1’s 18th & so that we can all have an amazing experience as a family. You are so incredibly privileged to have been taken on a holiday like this. So many people could only dream of being able to have a holiday abroad, never mind to Florida. You are missing out on real life experiences that you’ll never be able to have again because you want to stare at content on a phone that will still be there when we get home. I am really, really disappointed.
Tomorrow is a new day. We will be doing X and leaving the accommodation at X time. It would mean a huge amount to me if you got up & joined us & were part of our family. If you don’t want to that’s your choice & you can stay here, but you’ll need to find your own food to eat & that’s that. I won’t ever be paying for a holiday like this again as it simply it not worth all the effort I have put in to make this possible. That’s all I’m going to say about the matter, the choice is yours to make”.

Thank you, really helpful.

OP posts:
Original poster
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 04:13

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 13/09/2025 21:22

Did the 18 year old want to go to Florida to celebrate his / her birthday ?

Yes!

OP posts:
FunBiscuit · 15/09/2025 04:14

PollyBell · 14/09/2025 00:37

No they dont, I wouldnt take 3 children' to Florida unless every child wanted to go and planned what they all wanted to do, so op how much did all 3 want to go to start with? What activities did they plan to do themselves?

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Disneyland is out of this world the technology is absolutely amazing we’ll all those parks are mind blowing if you complain about Disney land then you will never be happy in life we never had holidays growing up no money even though our parents worked 7 days week and 3 jobs we ate the same meals every day cabbage carrots potatoes we never went in a car had to walk everywhere never went on the bus parents could not afford we had hand me down clothes never had heating so woke up to ice on our windows there was no adhd that was sorted out with the cane at school this our parents would lock the door when they went to work so we had to go to school we never flew on a plane or went on holiday but we were happy because we had a home and stability which is not available to the generation now because all the houses are overpriced we are overtaxed and everyone is over greedy I am glad I grew up in the 80.s oh yes the phone was locked and we had to use the phone at the end of the road sometimes reverse the charges we used to work 7 days a week so never had time to moan

Original poster
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 04:25

Mademetoxic · 13/09/2025 21:27

Because it's the start of term, and they have had a whole 6 weeks off school.
I hope they get fined, heavily.

It is disruptive to the staff and other pupils when individuals are off school. It's selfish.

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Not sure who would fine me as the children aren't in school?! Hope you feel better after your little outburst? Perhaps you need a holiday?! 😂 But if you want to discuss this topic perhaps start your own thread rather than derailing mine?

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Original poster
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 04:26

Mademetoxic · 13/09/2025 21:28

It's the start of term. Of course all children should be attending school/college.

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You clearly lead a very sheltered life.

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Original poster
WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 04:34

Lobleylimlam · 13/09/2025 21:29

I'm so sorry OP. I understand its hugely frustrating right now when all they want to do is doomscroll and lie down and youve booked things, theyre not considering the cost to you but realistically, they wouldnt as theyve not been on the other end of that yet-paying for thier family to do something and nobody seeming to sppreciate it.

That being said, if thats what the oldest is doing, and this holiday was meant to be to celebrate thier birthday, is this something they even wanted to do? Or something that was picked and just so happens its thier birthday too?

I think i'd personally feel a little annoyed (although EXTREMELY GRATEFUL- I dont have anyone planning anything for me) if someone planned something for my birthday but none of it was to my liking? It feels this is very much a family holiday but youre saying its for the 18 year old. Is 18 even bothered about the holiday really? Would they have prefferred a different present and you maybe assuned they would like this? At that age a lot of people probably want to do more with thier mates than thier family.

You have done a lovely thing btw. Just trying to see it from another angle.

Yes, it was his choice. He wanted a holiday. He had the choice of with friends but he wanted to go away with us. He chose where, many of the activities. I know he chose things the others would like and maybe he wouldn't so much. Bless him, I don't think he's ungrateful really just a bit overwhelmed, a bit overtired in fact we all are, probably!

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