Ungrateful Teens on Florida holiday

[WatermelonWaveclub]

I brought my 3 teens (18, 16 and 13) to Florida to celebrate my eldest's 18th. Honestly it has been a nightmare. Every morning they refuse to get up. We end up leaving for the day's activity hours late. At least one usually refuses to come. Then we end up rushing around with the youngest upset we don't have time to do everything they want. When we get home late and I just want to sleep I am expected to sort food for whoever stayed back at the hotel. Then they stay up late keeping me awake. I'm exhausted!

The main thing they seem to want to do is stay in bed on their phones! Noone seems to worry about wasting a lot of money on activities they don't attend or any thought to making the most of a holiday they are very lucky to be on! No care about me missing out on things I'd like to do or their sibling would like to do. They were fully aware of what the holiday would involve and said they would like to go on the holiday. For example they knew there would be a lot of swimming. One has point blank refused to swim and the other 2 will swim hypothetically but have not once been in the hotel pool with me in almost a week and both just layed on sunloungers on their phones at the water park yesterday.

How would you deal with this situation?

Nonsense

One word answers dont cut it. What would you suggest?

Are you located near the dreadful Disney or somewhere more interesting? Could you possibly do a road trip down the Keys to Key West - it is a fascinating, interesting and gorgeous drive. Even the kids might like it!

Don’t cut it
🤭

for you. A random poster who would throw her 18 and 16 year old’s phones in to the hotel pool and somehow expect that the holiday to be a success from that point on.

what a joke

One word answers dont cut it.

All I know is that my chidren are not slaves to their phones because we were on top of it and made sure they didnt get addicted. Can you say the same?

Just as an aside Florida is much bigger than Disney. We go to Florida quite regularly and the great thing about it is that they’re are activities for all ages!

It’s hardly surprising your children behave like this. By taking them out of school for a holiday (and for this moaning at the people pointing this out, it is entirely relevant) you’ve shown them rules don’t matter, so they’ve of course feel free to ignore yours. And by not enforcing screen time, you are harming their mental health and encouraging them ignore everything outside their 6 inch screen. Terrible parenting.

Mine were the exact same on a ‘holiday of a lifetime’ last summer. I think the key with teens is actually bog standard holidays - apartment / villa with a pool and near a town and just let them do what they want. Dinner together is a must and everything else is an opt in. Maybe with a city tagged on at the end for a couple of days

Its their age. Dont take them anywhere again ( surprised the 18 year old was prepared to come with you anyway). Took mine aged 13 and 14 on a flotilla sailing holiday once and the youngest spent most of the time on his bunk playing games on his DS ( he didn't have a mobile phone at the time). At the end of the holiday I found out that another couple had two slightly older teenage boys on board who NEVER came on deck and were asleep practically the whole holiday.

Honestly ....waste of time and money.At that age some kids aren't interested in anything.

Why would you pay double the price just to go in term time? I don’t and won’t abide by that, you can crack on though!

I was this ungrateful teenager many years ago - my parents took us on big holidays and I was always just wishing to be at home hanging out in the park with my mates and boyfriend. It’s just their age - they won’t be like this forever. Dont take them again or just do a very short break somewhere closer to home.

Do the youngest 2 have screen times? Phones are quire addictive.

is it quite intense? Are they allowed to have a a bit of a lay in, eg leaving and 11am instead of 9am? Lowering your expectations a bit, Knowing you won’t be able to fit everything,

I will expect then in bed by 12night, up by 10am and out by 11am. We do prefer airbnbs/self catering for this reason than hotels. More space, independence.

If the oldest one wants to stay I wont be sorting out meals; he is 18 already. I will not give the youngest two a choice. They have to be up and ready.

I’m more concerned that they should all be at school…

This thread definitely needs more people trying to make it about missing school, even though the OP has said none of them go and one of them is 18 anyway.

Don't waste your time, money or energy again. Yes ungrateful.
Why is it the norm for everyone to be on their phone, even when out with friends, children etc. It's so rude and what the heck are they looking at? Learning to speak Cantonese, helpful, no just awful shite.

Typical mumsnet response
Not all 18 year olds do Alevels, mind blowing i know 🙄

Why ?
The Op has said the oldest two are in college
Why would you think an 18 year would be in school anyway🤔

That sounds super annoying, but I'd take control of the situation and set some boundaries. Eg I'm feeling frustrated at having spent so much money on this trip for us to have a nice family time together and it feels like you aren't making much effort to make the most of it.

From now on I'm setting some new boundaries: 1) Tomorrow, we are doing X and leaving at X time. If you're not ready, we will leave without you. 2) If you choose not to come and we eat when we are out, I will not be providing any food for you until our next meal time when we are all together. OR, I will give you $20 and you can figure out your own food for the day. I will not be getting involved. 3) If you do decide to come along, be gracious and pleasant, or I will do X (consequence that you are willing to carry out).

You can't make them be less selfish, but you can choose how you respond and whether you reinforce that behavior or make their lives more difficult as a result.

This sounds completely normal for teens that age on vacation. No teen wants to wake up early, no matter what is on the agenda. This is exactly how I was on our last family trip to Florida when I was 16. I wanted to sleep in. Had little interest in the planned activities. So my mom took my sister to the beach and stuff, while I chilled out at the apartment.

Because most are....

I stand corrected. I made that comment because I think it’s unsettling for kids to miss the start of a new school year. Presumably the 13 year old is homeschooled as OP states none are in school.

The other thing you could do is sit them all down, talk about how the holiday has not worked well so far and see if you can do a reset and compromise together. See if you can come up with a revised plan that everyone can agree to. Maybe some of the things you have booked and paid for can be non-negotiable, but in return they can have a say over other things e.g., where to eat, what to do in their downtime etc.

Well no they are not they have to be in education or training which is often NOT in a school .

Yeah, exactly this!

Sorry but.. the whole point of a holiday is doing what you want to do to relax isn't it? Not spending 2 weeks doing what someone else's idea of fun is?

Did you even ask them before you booked this holiday? Probably an all inclusive resort in Spain or similar would have been better, as you could all just chill and do your own thing.

A Florida holiday is never relaxing as it's just a huge list of things to tick off a list!