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AIBU?

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Original poster

Ungrateful Teens on Florida holiday

536 replies

WatermelonWaveclub · 13/09/2025 18:54

I brought my 3 teens (18, 16 and 13) to Florida to celebrate my eldest's 18th. Honestly it has been a nightmare. Every morning they refuse to get up. We end up leaving for the day's activity hours late. At least one usually refuses to come. Then we end up rushing around with the youngest upset we don't have time to do everything they want. When we get home late and I just want to sleep I am expected to sort food for whoever stayed back at the hotel. Then they stay up late keeping me awake. I'm exhausted!

The main thing they seem to want to do is stay in bed on their phones! Noone seems to worry about wasting a lot of money on activities they don't attend or any thought to making the most of a holiday they are very lucky to be on! No care about me missing out on things I'd like to do or their sibling would like to do. They were fully aware of what the holiday would involve and said they would like to go on the holiday. For example they knew there would be a lot of swimming. One has point blank refused to swim and the other 2 will swim hypothetically but have not once been in the hotel pool with me in almost a week and both just layed on sunloungers on their phones at the water park yesterday.

How would you deal with this situation?

OP posts:
Original poster
WatermelonWaveclub · 14/09/2025 12:36

GreenCat12 · 13/09/2025 19:35

Teenagers need more downtime and more sleep - have you taken that into account with plenty of chill time and lie ins for them? What's the schedule like?

When planning holidays for a family, it's tricky to get the balance right to suit everyone. I'm sure the holiday you planned would be amazing for me and anyone other than an ungrateful teenager.

Teenagers are a pain in the arse. They just are! And it doesn't matter how superior you think your parenting is, they just want their bed and their phone.

My schedule is made up of equal days of Disney/another activity/chill day. Some Disney days are early, some are not and the same with the other activities. Compared to what many seem to plan for Florida my plan is very relaxed. But clearly not quite relaxed enough!

OP posts:
enwarall · 14/09/2025 13:06

I think that leaving at the pre-agreed hour and charging them for any activities not attended is a very good idea. 👍

zingally · 14/09/2025 13:14

Is this a Disney holiday? Surely a bit young for all the kids? I think it's one of those places that's fun when you're 7, and then fun again when you're 37, and pretty tiresome/cringy in the middle.

2015pls · 14/09/2025 15:34

you are alone with them op? You funded the holiday entirely as a single parent?

axolotlfloof · 14/09/2025 17:47

We took 18 and 16 y o on nice long haul holiday.
They weren't as enthusiastic as I hoped but on the whole we had a nice time.
Half way through16 y o said he knew it wasn't an option but he missed his bedroom and would like to go home.
J think holidaying with teenagers is hard.
Low expectations and not to many activities is probably for the best.

NaneePolly · 14/09/2025 17:51

Leave the 2 older ones to lie in bed and go out with your youngest.

Anne635 · 14/09/2025 17:54

As the others have said, the eldest are quite old enough to look after themselves, so leave them to it. Teenagers generally aren't good with mornings and there are biological reasons for that.

WFHforevermore · 14/09/2025 17:57

GoodOldTrayBake · 13/09/2025 19:27

YABU simply by going to Florida. You may as well have taken them to Iran.

What a stupid thing to say.

lostfather666 · 14/09/2025 17:58

I agree or take phones off them spoilsport it's unfair

WFHforevermore · 14/09/2025 17:58

2015pls · 14/09/2025 15:34

you are alone with them op? You funded the holiday entirely as a single parent?

How is how she funded her trip any of your business and what relevance does it have it have to the issue?

2015pls · 14/09/2025 18:10

WFHforevermore · 14/09/2025 17:58

How is how she funded her trip any of your business and what relevance does it have it have to the issue?

Show quote history

Because she says she doesn’t think her kids understand the amount spent and the meaning of money

These aren’t young children

They will understand and the effort their mother has gone to

but you thought you had seen a shadow hadn’t you 🤭

Middleagedspreadisreal · 14/09/2025 18:12

Why are you desperate for them to go in the pool? Why doesn't your 13yr old go to school?

Daisythepussycat · 14/09/2025 18:12

When ours were 18 and 16 we were absolutely delighted that they wanted to come with us (and it was the last time they did). Just enjoy their company and let them do what they want to do, rather than what you think they ought to want to do - you won't have them around much longer, and you will miss them when they are gone. Ours are now 31 and 33 and they came to Crete with us this Easter for the first time since then - we were so touched that a couple of millennials wanted to come away with a couple of wrinkly old boomers, but I believe that we laid the groundwork for it by how we treated them when they were teenagers. If anyone has a very long memory they had me on Woman's Hour saying a lot of the above in 2003!

2015pls · 14/09/2025 18:17

Daisythepussycat · 14/09/2025 18:12

When ours were 18 and 16 we were absolutely delighted that they wanted to come with us (and it was the last time they did). Just enjoy their company and let them do what they want to do, rather than what you think they ought to want to do - you won't have them around much longer, and you will miss them when they are gone. Ours are now 31 and 33 and they came to Crete with us this Easter for the first time since then - we were so touched that a couple of millennials wanted to come away with a couple of wrinkly old boomers, but I believe that we laid the groundwork for it by how we treated them when they were teenagers. If anyone has a very long memory they had me on Woman's Hour saying a lot of the above in 2003!

Edited

Who paid out of interest?

2015pls · 14/09/2025 18:18

@Daisythepussycat in 2003 they were 9 and 11… so what were you saying about parenting teens on woman’s hour!

Oriunda · 14/09/2025 18:23

We went to FL last year (before Trump got in) and I asked my teen son if he wanted to go to Universal (we don’t like Disney; he’s been to Universal before). He said no. That was fine. We didn’t plan any activities other than heading to the beach or down to the pool. It was a road trip, so we changed hotels every few days. Took in the Everglades etc en route. We ended up in Miami, where DS loved the shopping and nightlife. When DH and I wanted to walk around the art deco buildings, we left DS asleep in bed.

My DS just wants to chill on holiday. We’ve got a city break coming up soon, but the sightseeing will be spaced out and we never plan any early start activities.

PalePinkPeony · 14/09/2025 18:29

I have a 16 and 13 year old and I’m sorry, but if they acted like that and wouldnt come off phones then phones would be ok downtime for the duration of the day until evening. Either that or the phones woukd have been drop kicked into the pool in sheer annoyance

JJMama · 14/09/2025 18:30

2015pls · 13/09/2025 18:58

Quite early in school year to be off on hols at these ages Op! 😆

This. Perhaps they’re concerned about their education!

GetofIphone54 · 14/09/2025 18:31

Take their phones off them - that way they will engage - your house your rules.

GetofIphone54 · 14/09/2025 18:35

JetFlight · 13/09/2025 19:06

It’s the phones op. So many kids are like this now. You could take the phones off them but I’m not sure how far you’d get.
how about sitting down and having a conversation about making the most of the last few days and how you could all make the most of it. Get ideas from them.
when we went to Florida with teens, we had our phones with us on hikes to see who could get the best pic of wildlife and alligators.
This will be controversial for some but I still take my 17 yr olds phone off them on a daily basis because they can’t get off it.

Don’t think taking phones off them teens is controversial- you are the parent, your bills your house your rules - we all need to do a lot more when it comes to tech usage for young teens developing brains.

MyElatedUmberFinch · 14/09/2025 18:38

2015pls · 14/09/2025 15:34

you are alone with them op? You funded the holiday entirely as a single parent?

?

2015pls · 14/09/2025 18:40

MyElatedUmberFinch · 14/09/2025 18:38

?

Show quote history

As above
I explained

whoopsnomore · 14/09/2025 18:42

MrsOverthinker25 · 13/09/2025 21:56

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 how on Earth is it selfish?? Maybe if they didn’t double the price of holidays during the 6 weeks holidays etc then so many families wouldn’t take their children out of school. I was also taken out of school to go on holidays and I’m doing alright for myself. Ps - they won’t get fined “heavily”, and the fine they do get will still work out cheaper than taking them during the 6 weeks holidays 🤝🏼

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Nobody "has to" go to Florida! as with everything in life, you identify your budget first then plan accordingly

NoisyPanda · 14/09/2025 18:52

WatermelonWaveclub · 14/09/2025 04:41

Yes, I have with the younger 2 but not with 18yo as he's an adult. Such a hard age- they are an adult yet not really! The dynamic seems to have completely changed since our holiday last year!

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I don´t understand parents that say they cannot take a phone away if their kids are adults (barely eighteen). Unless they are paying for their phone and it´s under their name, it´s mine to do as I see fit. And as long as they are living under my roof, it´s my rules.

Odin2018 · 14/09/2025 18:54

Get yourself and your 13 year old ready to go out the door.

Grab the other kids phones and throw them in the hotel pool. Run and go out for the day and enjoy yourself.

When you get back shout out what time to be ready in rhe morning, dont say another word and go straight to bed.

Whoever is ready in the morning to go, go out.

You paid for their holiday. They are taking you for granted BUT be honest, have you let them get away with this behaviour on an everyday basis? If so, you only have yourself to blame.