Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be saddened that anyone would want to take away a woman’s right to safe abortion?

1000 replies

Balayagequeen · 13/09/2025 14:48

It makes me sad and angry that there are so many people who believe that a woman’s right to a termination is up for debate/political football.

It’s always privileged men too.

No woman should be forced to continue with a pregnancy that she doesn’t want.

An abortion is a very safe, simple procedure, it’s a personal and private choice, it’s discreet, no one is ramming it down anyone else’s throat or trying to persuade others to do it. The vast majority of the time is done very early on in the pregnancy. Evidence shows that there are no long term negative physical or mental effects on the woman.

As someone who works for children’s services, there are already far too many children in the care system and they can end up deeply traumatised, and having poor outcomes in life, adoptions often don’t work out and even when they do can be extremely traumatic for both the mother and child. That is not to take away from all of the wonderful adoptive parents and foster carers, but please let’s not romanticise it.

Most adoptions are because the birth parents are unable to care for the child, not because the mother willingly gave the baby up. Therefore to force a woman to give birth would potentially be the worse option for the woman, the child and any existing siblings. It isn’t a fairytale ending where a woman willingly gives up her baby to a loving couple to live happily ever after.

There are babies conceived in poverty, domestic abuse, rape, teenage pregnancies, older age pregnancies. These women should not be forced to give birth, it is not the better option for anyone.

If abortion was ever restricted in the western world then I have no doubt that it would result in unsafe illegal abortions, risking the woman’s life.

Women take all the risk with pregnancy and childbirth. They take an enormous toll on a woman body, her mental health, her life outcomes. We are not living in the dark ages, women deserve the choice.

What right does any privileged male who has probably never experienced any of these things and has probably done very little child rearing, who can never conceive or give birth, have to try to restrict a women’s access to abortion?

Are they themselves going to care for the babies born? Or will they expect that someone else will do it?

OP posts:
LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 08:00

ProfessionalPirate · 14/09/2025 06:30

Please do give me examples of medical cases where a foetus needs to be killed through feticide in order to save the life of the pregnant woman, as opposed to simply being delivered.

You won’t, because you can’t.

TBH, do it yourself. I’m not hurrying to copy and paste sources on the command of a hypocritical misogynist who has had a “justifiable abortion” but thinks other women are monsters, baby killers and committing “feticide”

Goggle is your friend. Though I suspect you won’t as you only seem to be interested in calling other women names

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 08:02

RedSkyatNight25 · 14/09/2025 06:32

I’m not anti choice, I just don’t agree with your arguments.

You’re clearly anti choice.

Why not just own it?

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 08:04

ProfessionalPirate · 14/09/2025 06:48

To prevent an otherwise healthy and viable foetus of 22/23/24 weeks from being aborted for the mother’s personal reasons. It’s not common but it does happen. There comes a point where a woman has to accept that she has missed the boat for an abortion.

The current 24 week cut off was set based on the concept of foetal viability. It was initially put at 28 weeks, then lowered as medical advances meant very premature babies were surviving. Stands to reason that it could be lowered again to reflect the further advances.

Ah so you just wanna punish more women then
Gotcha
The legal limit has been 24 weeks for the last 35 years and no medical advancements have ever supported a reduction in this.

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 08:04

RedSkyatNight25 · 14/09/2025 06:52

🙄 would you like me to send over my SRA number?

Edited

No, I don’t care nor would I believe you

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 08:06

ProfessionalPirate · 14/09/2025 06:59

They don’t feel pain from abortions. Their hearts stop.
But even if they did - so what. Someone had to. Better a fetus, completely unaware and not out in the world and no idea what it is, feel momentary pain than a actually loving woman is forced to give birth and two peoples lives are turned upside down and probably made miserable.

The above is what you said to another poster.

You have previously agreed that current medical opinion says a foetus under 24 weeks doesn’t feel pain. And only foetus’s past 22 weeks are given medication to stop their heart as I have informed you.

Ergo, I conclude that in the above you are referring to your support of late-term abortion.

Although FYI, you should probably be aware that by that point in the pregnancy, giving birth is an inevitability. The only question is whether or not the foetus is alive at the time.

Ergo, I have no idea how me saying babies below 24 weeks don’t feel pain (fact) means I support late term abortion for lifestyle reasons. FYI, you’re just reaching now

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 08:09

ProfessionalPirate · 14/09/2025 07:04

Your opinion on late term abortions.

your posting on that subject has been some of the most convoluted and contradictory I’ve ever seen on mumsnet! Although I think that’s probably lack of understanding rather than a genuine conflict of opinion. Feel free to confirm.

Feel free to confirm what exactly?
That you can’t read properly?
Tell me where I’ve implied I agree with late term abortions for lifestyle reasons.
Ill wait

RedSkyatNight25 · 14/09/2025 08:10

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 07:48

Can you give me a grey area example please?

Im not angry, im just right

You think the law is black and white, that legislation is so succinct it provides for each and every instance of application without any need for interpretation. Do you understand what case law is?

RedSkyatNight25 · 14/09/2025 08:11

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 08:04

No, I don’t care nor would I believe you

I’m quite flattered you think my profession is so exclusive I’d make it up.

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 08:11

RedSkyatNight25 · 14/09/2025 07:09

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-stoke-staffordshire-65882169.amp

ok she was 32-24 weeks but it didn’t take long to find one.

So you didn’t find one then?
This woman is an absolute exception and went to jail for her crime. Which I’m sure delights you anti-choicers

RedSkyatNight25 · 14/09/2025 08:12

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 08:00

TBH, do it yourself. I’m not hurrying to copy and paste sources on the command of a hypocritical misogynist who has had a “justifiable abortion” but thinks other women are monsters, baby killers and committing “feticide”

Goggle is your friend. Though I suspect you won’t as you only seem to be interested in calling other women names

Pot, kettle. Note you’re the only one swearing and being aggressive on this thread. Says alot about the strength of your arguments.

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 08:13

RedSkyatNight25 · 14/09/2025 07:10

by that point in the pregnancy, giving birth is an inevitability. The only question is whether or not the foetus is alive at the time.

Yes the foetus has to exit either way - so the forced birth argument falls down there.

Well no because the “birth” but implies a live baby and all that comes with it

Otherwise it’s expelling dead fetus and the woman life doesn’t change in nearly the same way

RedSkyatNight25 · 14/09/2025 08:13

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 08:11

So you didn’t find one then?
This woman is an absolute exception and went to jail for her crime. Which I’m sure delights you anti-choicers

I’ve told you repeatedly I’m not anti choice. As I said in another post. There’s a plethora of examples of women concealing pregnancy and murdering their newborns. So arguably there’s plenty of examples of women who would seek to abort a full term baby. The only difference is the baby has travelled through the birth canal.

RedSkyatNight25 · 14/09/2025 08:15

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 08:13

Well no because the “birth” but implies a live baby and all that comes with it

Otherwise it’s expelling dead fetus and the woman life doesn’t change in nearly the same way

You think the impact of infant loss on a woman is dictated by the point at which the infant dies? It’s really that simple?

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 08:15

ProfessionalPirate · 14/09/2025 07:21

Yes I do think gestation is important. An abortion at 8 weeks is not the same as an abortion at 38 weeks.

I don’t need to find a woman who wants an abortion at 38 weeks. Just the theoretical idea of one is enough to say we need a law in place to prevent it from ever happening.

It’s like saying let’s legalise infanticide because no one would ever be depraved enough to do it. Sadly, there are, and they do. It’s rare, but there are some fucked up people in this world.

Convenient your abortion is fine but other women’s abortions aren’t and are “baby killers” and “monsters”. who are you judge? How arrogant to think your viewpoint is king.

I still can’t work out your stance on this, can you clarify? Are you saying you think a woman who wants a late term abortion is as reasonable and justified as one who wants a first trimester abortion? But then you also state that you don’t agree with late term abortions and want it to remain illegal other than for medical necessity?

And you wonder why I find your posts contradictory!

You are anti choice and are calling imaginary women all sorts of names for their desire to have an abortion. It you’ve had an abortion yourself and you said yours was fine and justified.
So why aren’t other women’s fine and justified? Why do you think you’re so important that you can even make the judgement on Right Abortions and Wrong Abortions? Given that plenty of people would call YOU a baby killer, even having an abortion in earlier stages.
Its called being a hypocrite

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 08:17

RedSkyatNight25 · 14/09/2025 07:25

There’s plenty of examples of women who kill their newborns in an attempt to conceal the
birth, having already concealed the pregnancy. So it’s not difficult to imagine there are women who would abort a full term baby.

That would be called murder, because there’s a live birth.

Your claim to be in the legal profession is getting ever more laughable.

You found one example. That’s not “plenty”.

RedSkyatNight25 · 14/09/2025 08:17

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 08:02

You’re clearly anti choice.

Why not just own it?

See illustration to assist in your understanding.

To be saddened that anyone would want to take away a woman’s right to safe abortion?
LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 08:18

Squishydishy · 14/09/2025 07:27

I would only want abortion to be legal up to around 14 weeks. I don’t think women should be able to abort beyond 20 weeks ever unless for TFMR or rape

Can I ask how you think the rape exception would work on a practical level?

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 08:20

RedSkyatNight25 · 14/09/2025 08:10

You think the law is black and white, that legislation is so succinct it provides for each and every instance of application without any need for interpretation. Do you understand what case law is?

Give me an example then if grey areas are everywhere.

RedSkyatNight25 · 14/09/2025 08:20

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 08:17

That would be called murder, because there’s a live birth.

Your claim to be in the legal profession is getting ever more laughable.

You found one example. That’s not “plenty”.

I found one example of a woman who sought an at home late term abortion, i wasn’t referring to those. Btw child destruction is an offence in England and Wales and refers to the killing of an unborn but viable foetus, so it’s already an offence not especially distinct from murder, in that both involve killing something independently capable of life.

RedSkyatNight25 · 14/09/2025 08:22

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 08:20

Give me an example then if grey areas are everywhere.

TBH, do it yourself. I’m not hurrying to copy and paste sources on the command of you.

Do you actually think the law is black and white? I’m intrigued as to how you think that works in practice. Of all the comments on this thread that alone is the only one that is amusing.

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 08:22

RedSkyatNight25 · 14/09/2025 08:13

I’ve told you repeatedly I’m not anti choice. As I said in another post. There’s a plethora of examples of women concealing pregnancy and murdering their newborns. So arguably there’s plenty of examples of women who would seek to abort a full term baby. The only difference is the baby has travelled through the birth canal.

You’ve said you don’t agree with abortion. That’s anti choice.
Why are you talking about infant murder?
Whats that got to do with anything.
How many is “plenty”?
And can you prove plenty of women have late term abortions DIY

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 08:25

RedSkyatNight25 · 14/09/2025 08:15

You think the impact of infant loss on a woman is dictated by the point at which the infant dies? It’s really that simple?

I’m talking about th definition of forced birth. Which you seem to think doesn’t exist. It does.

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 08:26

RedSkyatNight25 · 14/09/2025 08:17

See illustration to assist in your understanding.

There’s no grey area.
If you’re against abortion you’re anti choice. It’s really simple
No idea why that offends you.

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 08:28

RedSkyatNight25 · 14/09/2025 08:20

I found one example of a woman who sought an at home late term abortion, i wasn’t referring to those. Btw child destruction is an offence in England and Wales and refers to the killing of an unborn but viable foetus, so it’s already an offence not especially distinct from murder, in that both involve killing something independently capable of life.

Oh lord you’re the gift that keeps on giving
This has been discussed already. It’s not the same as abortion, legally or morally (would expect a solicitor to know this) because that’s when the choice is taken away from the one person who can legally choose

But regardless - what’s your point?

LayerCakeOfStrangers · 14/09/2025 08:30

RedSkyatNight25 · 14/09/2025 08:22

TBH, do it yourself. I’m not hurrying to copy and paste sources on the command of you.

Do you actually think the law is black and white? I’m intrigued as to how you think that works in practice. Of all the comments on this thread that alone is the only one that is amusing.

The law is set out clearly, black and white, for abortion - eg 24 weeks - not “A woman can have an abortion if she wants to unless she’s a hussy”.

Its not a grey area nor should it be.

And no I won’t do it, you can’t give one example and neither it seems can anyone else. I’d be amazed if an example which can have a set number, doesnt.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.
Swipe left for the next trending thread