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Original poster

Toddler won’t come of dummy at 2 years old?

127 replies

dummyt · 13/09/2025 10:45

This morning I have attempted to get my toddler of the dummy and he went crazy and had a tantrum for an hour and a half and I gave in.

He has it all day and night.

If he dosent have it he will hit me, pull my hair, throw a tantrum and cry hysterically for an hour until he gets it.

He only really says a handful of words so it is definitely affecting his speech as he excels in all other areas on the 2 Year Health Check.

I have tried to give him a teddy, comforter, his nan’s hat (he loves this) and a Xmas jumper that he loves holding when he is upset but to no avail.

His sleep is awful as he wakes up in the night frequently for his dummy and in turn wakes me up multiple times.

I just don’t know what to do and I am at a loss.

OP posts:
Dinosaursare · 14/09/2025 07:09

Ds1 was similar so one day all the dummies broke (I took scissors to them overnight!) We then had such a busy and fun day at the zoo we "forgot" to go to the shop and that was it. Dummy fairy didnt work for him as he said he wanted the dummies more than toys

Sjh15 · 14/09/2025 07:11

I had similar when getting our 3 year old out of nappies.
he didn’t take it out on us at all (you need to get that stopped!) but he screamed and screamed and screamed for 2 hours. I was close to caving but my partner wouldn’t (so pleased for him), and my son was out of nappies within that day.
you have to stick with the tantrum.

I went to ‘dummies for bed time only’ too. Original day was hard but he got over it quick

Lauzg90 · 14/09/2025 07:11

ozarina · 14/09/2025 00:05

God there are some horrific people on here. The child will lose interest of his own accord! You don't see adults walking about with dummies.

I mean you say that, we have a group chat for my daughters class, she is in year one (5 to 6 years old) and I see pictures of kids with dummies and bottles!
OP has already implied it’s impacting his speech.

RonsonRaves · 14/09/2025 07:24

You are in for a rough ride as a parent if you don't know how to deal with a 2 year old having a tantrum without caving in

Arran2024 · 14/09/2025 07:54

You are all so sure that the mther here just needs to be firm - there is a possibility that there is something else going on here with the obsession, determination, response when it is removed and speech issues, and there is no amount of being firm that will fix that if this is behind it.

bluepears96 · 14/09/2025 08:03

Why do you feel unable to put a boundary in place for a 2 year old? No means no. I think you have bigger problems if you can’t sit a toddler tantrum out.

The more times you give in and give him what he wants, he learns that tantrum or extreme reaction is what he needs to do again next time to get the thing he wants. That’s how poor behaviour escalates and escalates to unmanageable levels.

MrsCarson · 14/09/2025 08:25

We convinced Ds at age 2 that his dummy was only for when he was in bed. So during the day he put it under his pillow. I did find at first he would go to his room for a quick dummy suck, then reappear in the living room. He'd also go and lie on the bed with it if he was upset at anything. He carried on with it for night time only till he was over age 3.

MyZippyPlayer · 14/09/2025 08:29

@dummyt let the dummy fairy come and take it away now he is a big boy...

Original poster
dummyt · 14/09/2025 08:36

So my OH has been looking after him this morning and soon as his dad says “please give me the dummy” he gives it to him.
They have just gone out for breakfast/park.

We have noticed that he does really play up for me but for his dad he is good as gold.

He listens to what his dad says but not really to me.

I know I need to be more firm with him, would a “naughty corner” be appropriate for his age?

OP posts:
Bumblebee72 · 14/09/2025 08:39

SeeYouInHell · 13/09/2025 15:34

No need for this—the dummy fairy can come to your house just like the tooth fairy!
The posties have enough to deal with.

Show quote history

And fairyland is going to get pretty pissed off if it keeps getting packages of dummies.

Bumblebee72 · 14/09/2025 08:41

dummyt · 14/09/2025 08:36

So my OH has been looking after him this morning and soon as his dad says “please give me the dummy” he gives it to him.
They have just gone out for breakfast/park.

We have noticed that he does really play up for me but for his dad he is good as gold.

He listens to what his dad says but not really to me.

I know I need to be more firm with him, would a “naughty corner” be appropriate for his age?

Why not let OH take the lead is weaning him off the dummy then?

Branwells77 · 14/09/2025 08:44

Do it gradually, so no dummy when he’s playing don’t give in when he whinges distract him with something else.
Start telling him that there’s lots of babies that need dummies and would he like to give his dummies to Santa for the babies I got a small gift box and my two decorated it for Santa and on Christmas Eve we filled the box with their dummies and it worked they woke up on Christmas Day didn’t even realise the box had gone one of mine found a dummy a few days later and my son brought it to me and said “we forgot one”
Good luck OP don’t be worrying to much about it he might not be ready by Christmas and if that’s the case the Easter bunny can take them do it slowly and see how he goes.

NotABiscuitInSight · 14/09/2025 08:46

You need to sort this with OH or he will undo the work you want to do.

Maybe do a parent course together.

Yes, time out, done appropriately, is fine for this age.

He is hitting because he doesn't have verbal communication and you know his speech is being impaired.

And yes you can tell kids with unlimited access to dummies a mile off because they have rainbow teeth. The sooner you knock it on the head the better the outcome will be for his teeth and speech.

WonderingWanda · 14/09/2025 08:50

If all the nice ways don't work then just bite the bullet and go cold turkey. They will tire themselves out with the tantrum eventually.

gingertom11 · 14/09/2025 08:54

Pick your battles. Ours still had them at nighttime up until the night before their 4th birthdays. Then they had to leave them out for the dummy fairy to take them to the young babies who needed them, and there wasn’t a peep of resistance from either of them.

Menapausemum1974 · 14/09/2025 08:57

dummyt · 13/09/2025 10:45

This morning I have attempted to get my toddler of the dummy and he went crazy and had a tantrum for an hour and a half and I gave in.

He has it all day and night.

If he dosent have it he will hit me, pull my hair, throw a tantrum and cry hysterically for an hour until he gets it.

He only really says a handful of words so it is definitely affecting his speech as he excels in all other areas on the 2 Year Health Check.

I have tried to give him a teddy, comforter, his nan’s hat (he loves this) and a Xmas jumper that he loves holding when he is upset but to no avail.

His sleep is awful as he wakes up in the night frequently for his dummy and in turn wakes me up multiple times.

I just don’t know what to do and I am at a loss.

@dummyt we introduced the dummy fairy, we left all the dummies for her and she left a personalised juice bottle in exchange ,he never asked for them again

lovethepuppies · 14/09/2025 09:29

My son had his dummy until he was 7 because his older sister is disabled and still actually has one at 21! Son eventually grew out of it and is now a strapping 19 year old with no speech problems at all so I’d say pick your battles and try not to worry too much honestly

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 14/09/2025 09:33

Cold turkey. Remove all dummies from the house, batton down the hatches and expect 48 hours of hell. He will then forget about them and be fine.

msberry · 14/09/2025 09:34

My daughter had her dummy till 5 yo. (By about 3, it was for bed time only).

She was told as soon as she lost a baby tooth it would go. Which she did. She is now 16 no speech issues or teeth. Can you leave it a bit longer?

bruffin · 14/09/2025 09:35

Tunacheesequesadilla · 13/09/2025 11:07

Just take it away and ride out the tantrum. He'll forget about it in a day or two.

yes , just tell him its lost or send it away to the fairies.

Knittedfrog · 14/09/2025 09:38

We left a note for Father Christmas to give them to the baby reindeer. He left a note in return with a special big girl gift.
Worked like a dream - no mention of dummy other than the baby reindeer had them.

ILoveWhales · 14/09/2025 09:42

dummyt · 13/09/2025 10:45

This morning I have attempted to get my toddler of the dummy and he went crazy and had a tantrum for an hour and a half and I gave in.

He has it all day and night.

If he dosent have it he will hit me, pull my hair, throw a tantrum and cry hysterically for an hour until he gets it.

He only really says a handful of words so it is definitely affecting his speech as he excels in all other areas on the 2 Year Health Check.

I have tried to give him a teddy, comforter, his nan’s hat (he loves this) and a Xmas jumper that he loves holding when he is upset but to no avail.

His sleep is awful as he wakes up in the night frequently for his dummy and in turn wakes me up multiple times.

I just don’t know what to do and I am at a loss.

So he went bat shit crazy and screamed and punches and hit things.Because he knows it works.

You know exactly what to do. He is two years old take it off him and don't give it back and you'll just have to deal with the tantrum.

As a side note though I wouldn't be too bothered. I was never given a dummy. I wish I had been given one. I was a thumb sucker instead. You can remove a dummy, but you can't cut a child's thumb off. My mum couldn't police it especially at night. It ended up pushing all of my front teeth forward. At least with a dummy, it can be taken away.

Noelshighflyingturds · 14/09/2025 09:46

One of mine had it for bed till she was 8. She’ll doesn’t have it anymore for uni

AgentJohnson · 14/09/2025 09:48

Just take it away and ride out the tantrum. He'll forget about it in a day or two.

Caving is a reward and you are just teaching him what behaviour he needs to display to get his own way.

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