Toddler won’t come of dummy at 2 years old?

[dummyt]

This morning I have attempted to get my toddler of the dummy and he went crazy and had a tantrum for an hour and a half and I gave in.

He has it all day and night.

If he dosent have it he will hit me, pull my hair, throw a tantrum and cry hysterically for an hour until he gets it.

He only really says a handful of words so it is definitely affecting his speech as he excels in all other areas on the 2 Year Health Check.

I have tried to give him a teddy, comforter, his nan’s hat (he loves this) and a Xmas jumper that he loves holding when he is upset but to no avail.

His sleep is awful as he wakes up in the night frequently for his dummy and in turn wakes me up multiple times.

I just don’t know what to do and I am at a loss.

I dipped my sons in vinegar and would cut little bits out of it so it tasted and felt different, then explain that dummy needed to go to younger children and it wasn’t happy, lasted barely a week after that.

You literally answered your own question you give in. Don't give in take him to bin cut it and throw away. Then go out as you say he doesn't bother with it outside. A couple of hard days nights will be worth it.

To be fair 2 year is too young to give it up. Don’t stress! Dentists suggest stop before they turn 3 years old. My first one was 2 years and 9 months, old enough to talk him out of it and my second one was 2 and 4 months. My second has many accidents falling down with his teeth, we took him to the dentist and the dentist told him to stop and that was it. I couldn’t believe as he never listens to us 😂 I guess when strangers say something works always better!

You're kind of prioritising him having a dummy wedged in his mouth at all times over him being able to communicate his feelings, needs and emotions at this point.
Not much point in excelling in other areas if he can't even speak much yet.

For God's sake get rid of it. You've had loads of good advice here.

This is excellent. It explains to the child that they have a lovely new toy because they chose to swap, and they know it’s not in the house and it’s not just mummy being mean.

OP it must be really frustrating and tiring but as the old saying goes, rome wasn't built in a day! You really have to be consistent, patient, not give in and they will eventually cope without it.

My biggest issue with this was other family when they were looking after my DC would give him it because they didn't see the need to keep it away or why I was doing it which prolonged the process and made me the bad guy 🙄 if there's no outside interference, they will eventually get through, and so will you!

What do you think will happen if he just screams and screams? He will wear himself out eventually. Nobody can scream indefinitely. Make sure he is in a safe place and get ear phones if the noise gets too much.
Offer age appropriate comfort, toys, games, distractions instead.

You are worrying too much. It isn’t accurate to say “it’s definitely effecting his speech”. Children acquire speech, they don’t learn it. He is soaking up everything around him. Kids abandon dummies in their own time. Two of my 3 children had dummies. They gradually used them less and less as they headed toward their third birthdays. They stopped using them altogether by the time they approached (in one case) reception class at school. The other one gave it up shortly after. My other child sucked his thumb. That took longer to go than the dummies. By not letting your toddler have his dummy, especially at night, you are causing unnecessary distress, both to him and to yourself.

You’re just going to need to take it away and stick to your guns. It’ll be hard, there’ll be tantrums, screaming, shouting - but trust me, in a couple of days it’ll be over.

Stick it out. Dummies are disgusting things and if people have made the mistake of using them in the first place then they need to get it stopped immediately. 2 is way over the age of acceptability.

He's not going to like it but that's tough.

Some very good advice on here, thankyou to everyone who has replied.

To PP saying that their kids had dummies for a while, did it affect your child’s teeth at all?

I am quite concerned about this, we are booked into see the dentist for a check who will be able to advise us.

The crying for the dummy earlier went on for about 45 minutes earlier

I will try going cold turkey on Monday when we have nothing planned
I will definitely try and spend more time out the house as well as he hands me the dummy himself when he see’s we are going out.

Yeah this is just what they do unfortunately! You need to be strong and not hand it over. In two days time he’ll have forgotten about it. As for scratching you/hitting etc. it would be a very firm NO! Then plonk him in his cot/bedroom for a few mins timeout. He needs to learn it’s not acceptable else he’s going to run rings around you OP

It never effected my children’s teeth, or their speech.

What I used to do was take her dummy as soon as she got up out of bed but leave the dummy visible so she always knew where it was, but if she wanted it she had to go & lie in bed because it was only for bedtime. She pretty quickly realised she didnt want to lie in bed for very long during the day & handed it back. In the end she gave it up no problem about 6 months later when we couldn't find it one night.

My DDs teeth started shifting forward so I took her dummy off her at 2, within a few months they were completely back to normal so I’m all for going cold turkey, you just have to ride it out. Put him in his bedroom with a stair gate so he can still see you but can’t get to you to hurt you while he tantrums.

Start leaving it in the bed only?
Or just lose it one day? We did this accidentally on holiday and couldn’t get a replacement so it was just tough. I thought it’d be hell but she seemed to realise there was nothing we could do about it. You could try faking this??

We did the "Dummy Fairy" too, when DD1 was approaching her 2nd birthday. We talked to her about it for a week or so beforehand, and explained what would be happening. On the day itself, she happily parcelled up all her dummies and popped them in a bag, and we hung it on a tree in the garden. When we came home later, the contents of the bag had been replaced with some new Happy Land figures, and she was perfectly content. At bedtime she asked for a dummy, but we reminded her that the Dummy Fairy had taken them to the new babies, and she was a bit put out for a few moments, but accepted it and went to sleep. I was expecting some push back, and certainly some unsettled nights, but I guess we were lucky.

I would be really firm with your DS about his physically attacking you @dummyt. It's fine if he wants to have a bit of a tantrum about something, but if he starts hurting you (or anyone else) you need to very clearly tell him "No. We do not hit people." Give him good eye contact and a clear, no nonsense tone, with a serious expression on your face, down at his level. If he continues, then time outs are a good way to creak the cycle.

What worked for us was telling him that Father Christmas wanted to give the dummy to my friends son who is 2 years younger. A few tears but then totally fine.

It is hard but they will let go eventually.

We gradually weaned our sons down although admittedly he was a little bit younger when we started so it was probably easier. We got it down to him just having it for sleep so for his nap time and bed time. We’ve just got rid of it completely on Friday at 2.5 years….we took him to build a bear and he put it inside a bear so now he cuddles that instead….we had a few tears on Friday night asking for it and wanting it back but tonight he’s been much better so fingers crossed we will have cracked it in a few days. We did the same with my eldest and he still cuddles his bear sometimes too.

God there are some horrific people on here. The child will lose interest of his own accord! You don't see adults walking about with dummies.

No but you do see adults with fucked up teeth because they had dummies too long

Sounds like he's autistic.

Start talking to him about how ‘big boys’ don’t have dummies - when he’s big he won’t have a dummy etc without actually taking it off him.
it’s good that he doesn’t take it out when you’re away from the house. Try to extend the times and places when he gives it up without a fight and be consistent about this.
there are various children’s books about dummies including about the dummy fairy.
My 2 DDs went down to night time only when they were about your son’s age and then a bit later gave them up completely. In one case it was timed with Christmas. We sowed the idea with her in advance and then on Christmas Eve all the dummies were gathered up and left with a note for Father Christmas asking him to give them to the “poor babies”. She never asked for them again, maybe in part because of the excitement of Christmas. She had lots of praise for being such a “big girl”. Good luck!

Mine had theirs till just after 3, but only at night or few naps (so would fall out eventually) no issues with teeth or speech.... sometimes i wish I could plug a dummy back in to stop them talking 😂

Don’t say ‘try’ you are already giving yourself an out. If you keep trying and trying and then caving that’s going to be more tantrums over a larger period of time than just sticking to your guns. As others have said, either snip the teats or bin them all (send to fairy if you wish but make sure there are non in the house!)
My daughter eldest went to bed with a bottle until she was 3. Wr had to go cold turkey. Maybe a week of difficult bedtimes, then it was over. With my second I bit the bullet and just did the same thing when she was one, like I should have done with my eldest.