Rude/Disinterested not to ask about holiday.

[girlfriend44]

If you tell your friends/family your going on holiday, do they always ask how your holiday was when you get back?

Is it disinterested /rude not to ask and not mention it, and is it different with men and women?
Do you expect men to ask less than women?

Holiday disasters are always interesting though!

I devour the ‘What’s your worst holiday experience?’ Threads on here.😀

No sarcasm meant whatsoever, but this astounds me. It’s just so far removed from anything I can grasp. I have a friend like this and I’m just the opposite - I forget people are on holiday, forget where they said they were going straight after they’ve told me and when I see them ag I forget to ask about it.

I’m otherwise a good friend - but holidays bore me.

I do try to remember - I’m not boasting.

Same,but not everyone does. I think its so rude when they cant show a bit of interest tbf.

I love hearing about my friends' adventures! Tell me all about it and show me pictures! It would have to be a VERY dull literally lay-by-the-pool-and-eat-all-inclusive-every-day for me to not be interested in your trip.

Do you only ask for politeness?

I wouldn’t care either way. I’ll probably ask but if it’s purely out of politeness is it actually polite? Asking a question when you’re not really interested in the answer isn’t what I’d class as polite.

Asking a question when you’re not really interested in the answer isn’t what I’d class as polite.

@brunettemic I hate that so much. They're called ask holes

Asking how someone’s holiday was has exactly the same phatic function as “How are you?’

Unless you’re the person’s therapist or GP, or concerned about their welfare, ‘How are you?’ essentially means ‘Hello’, and requires ‘Fine, thanks’ as a response, not a detailed rundown on how their haemorrhoids are playing up.

Fine if they do, fine if they don't. Doesn't matter.

Had a friend years ago who would reply to "How are you?" With a detailed breakdown of her bad knee was playing up. She was in her bloody 20s at the time. It was excruciating to witness, saw her do it a few times. Ugh.

I hate this trend where you call your bank etc tgr operator says ‘how are you today?’ - and we get it all the time at work, someone makes a call to us with an enquiry asks how I am. Wtf does it matter? it’s trite fake polite box ticking nonsense. Just help with the enquiry and get on with it, it’s not your job to make polite small talk with randoms.

Hearing about someone else's holiday is the most boring thing ever. Just stick the photos on Facebook so I can heart it and move on.

I always ask a friend or colleague how their holiday was. A friend, I genuinely want to know that they've had a good time. A colleague, I'm being sociable and polite.

Fact is, a lot of people's holidays sound boring to me as I'm not a sunshine and sand holidaymaker. By the same token, my holidays sound grim to others...camping and hillwalking. They don't rate my holiday chat either.

Quick ask, hear points of interest, look at no more than five photos and the social obligation is fulfilled.

If you're going to start flicking through an album of 70+ photos on the tiny screen on your phone, I'm needed elsewhere.

The word you want is 'uninterested'. 'Disinterested' means 'without bias', not 'bored'.
Sorry to be picky, but that particular mistake always makes me grind my teeth.
To get to your point, I think it depends on how well you know someone and whether your tastes in holidays are similar. I would be bored stiff hearing about a cruise or AI resort holiday, as if never go on one myself. I'm all about a city break and if it's somewhere I'd be interested in going myself, naturally I'd be interested.

Agree. I’ll scroll through the fb photos, get bored and give up after the first dozen, respond with a ❤️ and go about my day.

If it is my sister, I tend to ask as she does very cool stuff. Yoga retreats in Bali, cycling across Vietnam, solo traveller holidays in Costa Rica etc. There's something interesting to hear about there.

You've gone AI to Dubai or the Canaries? (No judgement, we do too.) Not much to hear about there.

Exactly. It all depends on the situation.

I'd say asking a person something about themself, or that is important or interesting to them, even if it isn't something that you are particularly interested in is the very definition of politeness.

So, @girlfriend44 - who is it that hasn't asked you ?

Why is it bothering you so much?

YABU. You used disinterested when you presumably meant uninterested.

Why are you asking if its rude not to and then say in only a few posts in that you think its polite to ask?? Surely thats the end of your own thread?!

Thank you. I'm glad that some people still know how to write decent English.

It's the emails starting "I hope you are well" that I hate. When on earth did this become a thing?

The emailer generally doesn't know me from Adam and I'm sure really doesn't care what my state of health might be.

'I hope this email finds you well.' is worse.

'Asking out of politeness' is IMO for conversations with colleagues or family you see out of duty - not people you're that bothered about.

Actual friends or family I care about? I'm genuinely interested (in their lives, rather than a special interest in the topic of holidays), so I ask. Agree some holidays are more interesting than others, obviously.

I can't afford a holiday at the moment and I'm (perhaps unfairly) somewhat annoyed by the endless expensive holiday chat among many colleagues, so I actually don't encourage that by asking, in general. I try to make up for it by being a polite and friendly colleague in other conversations!