Rude/Disinterested not to ask about holiday.

[girlfriend44]

If you tell your friends/family your going on holiday, do they always ask how your holiday was when you get back?

Is it disinterested /rude not to ask and not mention it, and is it different with men and women?
Do you expect men to ask less than women?

Cant believe the responses to be honest. I think its really rude! And I also genuinely love hearing about people's holidays! I dont want to sit and look at 2000 photos no, but a bit of a chat is normal and polite in my circles with both friends and collegues!

Surely that depends on what happened on the holiday.

I couldn’t care less tbh. I don’t expect anyone else to be interested in my holiday in the same way I’m not overly interested in anyone else’s

I think it’s good manners to ask, but no I don’t want to see the 68 photos you put on fb.

my friends don't, they have a life 😂

Unless they're the ones on a permanent chat with me on whatsapp, they ones you don't say hi or goodbye, but randomly chat through the day, and it would be pretty organic anyway

Well, yes, if you were briefly taken hostage in Haiti, or ended up having a torrid affair with someone you met on the Camino, to the point where you're now moving to the other side of the world to be with him as soon as he tells his wife, then sure, I'm all ears. If, on the other hand, you want to complain about priority boarding on Ryanair and the devious sunlounger-bagging ways of Random Nationality for an hour, no, I'm way too busy.

I'm not really interested in other people's holiday. I never ask anyone about their holiday.

I'd ask a colleague on their first day back or a relative if I was on the phone to them, also would ask a friend. What do people talk about if it's not what have you been doing since I last saw you?

I think some people are just wrapped up in themselves and never ask a question about you. I have an old friend who will ramble on about everything in her life at length, never lets me get a word in and never asks a single thing about me or my family. I haven’t seen her for a few years because she’s just so egotistical.

My DM never asks about our holidays. I still ring her once a week while we’re away and she never asks if we’re having a nice time or where we’ve been, but she’ll bang on about next door’s barking dog or the price of tea bags for the duration of the call. She’s completely disinterested in my life, always has been.

Yes, I do think it’s rude.

Good for you. I couldn’t give a toss about other people’s holidays, and I don’t expect them to give a toss about mine.

I always ask because it's polite and yes, I'm interested in case it's somewhere I've not been and I'd like to go!

But I also don't want lots of detail or to give lots of detail if I'm asked. I think the following is sufficient.

Yes, it was lovely. The weather was glorious.

Yes, it was nice. The sea was perfect for snorkeling.

Yes, it was great. We ate some lovely food out there.

Beyond that, no more is needed. Unless it was awful and you want to explain why! Otherwise, I don't think it's necessary to share a day by day itinerary or photos, etc.

This.

And no I don't think it's rude to be uninterested in someone's holiday. A quick "how was it?" is nice but I wouldn't notice if I wasn't asked.

Depends on the holiday to be fair. I'm definitely not interested in your 2 weeks in an all inclusive but if you've backpacked around South America I might raise more enthusiasm.

If I saw them within a few days of returning I might ask if they had a good hol otherwise no unless they bring it up.

Couldn't have put it better myself!

A colleague once got put Google maps on her phone when I asked how her holiday was, and spent our entire tea break giving me the full day-by-day itinerary.

I was genuinely pleased that she'd had a nice time, really didn't need all the details though.

Of course in real life people do ask - out of interest and out of politeness. It’s a bit tricky to answer your question without a context but in general I would expect a relative or a close friend to ask about it. Other people - just general: have you had a nice holiday? When meeting you first time after your holiday.

Agree. And when I’m asked I’ll give a polite ‘great thanks’ and that’s it.

Unless there’s a great story of something that happened then I’d mention it maybe but I don’t want to be asked details or ramble on about sunbathing and drinking cocktails

that said, it reduces the range of small talk you can make if you exclude. I'd rather ask about holidays than the weather 😂

But really close friends, they'll know already, we are in touch anyway.
Others, only if we bump into each other shortly after holidays.

I always ask yes , but at work most people don't even ask 😞

I ask when I see them, I like my friends and family and am generally quite interested in hearing whether or not they’d recommend it as a future destination I might consider!
When colleagues in my team come back from holiday we have a little chat about it in the office, just a 5 minute “oh it was lovely, weather was comfortable/really hot/cool, we went to x sights and went scuba diving and saw sharks” or whatever (no idea if you can see sharks when you scuba 😂).
Just polite and as I say I’m actually quite interested - some of my colleagues and family visit really interesting sounding places that I’ve gone on to visit - especially love a restaurant recommendation - or have added to a mental list to check out myself one day.

I think this depends how many people you interact with in a week.

If you are a person that works in a big team, plays sport or sings in a choir with another 25 - 30 people, is also a volunteer with groups that have quite a few other volunteers plus the people you are supporting, plus you go to Church, and you chat to your neighbours in passing, then you chat to a lot of people over the space of a week or two.

If you wfh, don't belong to any groups or teams, don't talk to your neighbours, and have only one friend you have ever kept in touch with, then you are in a different situation.

If / when I do remember someone has been away, I would ask, but - like most on this thread - would only be looking for a "Lovely thanks. Bit hot if anything, but mustn't complain", not a breakdown of any detail.

If it were some big 'once in a lifetime' tour of Canada or NZ or 3 months touring Asia or something, then I would have enjoyed keeping in touch as they travel, so would have seen what they'd been up to.

I think it’s weird when people say it’s a boring topic.

I mean, what ARE you interested in talking about?

If there's anything duller than other people's dreams, it's other people's holidays.

That's doubly true for other people's dream holidays.

Sorry no, nobody is interested in your holiday. You sound quite entitled
I couldn't care less to hear about my friends grand children, or parents I've never met, or what their siblings are up to but if there is an special event that mean a lot to yhem, I do make a point to remember and ask them about it. It's called showing that you care about them.

I would have no interest in being friends with someone who consider that anything that matters to me is of no interest to them and that it makes me entitled to appreciate when my friends ask.

This. Much like anything else, if someone has done something that I know about I'll ask about it but out of small talk nothing more really.

Going on holiday isn't like getting a new job or having a child, it isn't momentous.