Rude/Disinterested not to ask about holiday.

[girlfriend44]

If you tell your friends/family your going on holiday, do they always ask how your holiday was when you get back?

Is it disinterested /rude not to ask and not mention it, and is it different with men and women?
Do you expect men to ask less than women?

Not everyone is interested in my life. I would not be surprised if no one asked about my holiday, nor would I ask about theirs.

I'll ask people "did you have a nice holiday?" But only out of British politeness/societal norms. Honestly, I dont actually care or want to know. I dont want anything more than a "yeah good, thanks" in response. I dont want a day by day account or god forbid getting your phone out to show me pictures. 😂

In the same way people ask "how are you?" People dont really care, they just expect a "fine thanks" in response, even if your leg might be hanging off and your hair is on fire.

Yes! This person is a kind woman, but her almost pathological interest in other people's holidays is bizarre.

On a general note, I think that when we all had one precious holiday a year it was understandable to be excited about it and for other people to want to hear, see photos etc.

But many of us are very spoiled nowadays and frankly, people travel so much that it is hard to keep track. (With one friend, I have to note down where she's going so that I can say "How was Costa Rica?" She's been abroad 8 times this year!!).

I speak as someone who goes abroad about once a year to Europe and has lots of weekends in the Cotswolds, Dorset, Shropshire etc. I admit I'm not the world's most adventurous or enthusiastic traveller! 😀

I don't think it's entitled to imagine someone remembers you went on holiday.

I try this but with some people they just don't give up. I spoke to someone in the office yesterday who I haven't seen since I got back four weeks ago (so we're not close or particularly pally) and it was followed by:

Where did you go again?
Was it just you and your husband?
Was the food good?
Was the weather hot?
Did you do a few beach days?

Etc.. by the end my OWN eyes had glazed over.😂

I think most people do ask, but I don't expect it and I don't think it's rude not to ask. It's a holiday, not a stay in hospital. And to be honest, if someone has lots of friends they're not necessarily going to remember who's been on holiday and who hasn't.

I'd probably ask 'Good holiday?' but unless they'd been somewhere really interesting or unusual, that would all I'd ask

People ask me which I’m surprised at as I’m away so often.
I always ask others as I’m genuinely interested.

Yes I'm interested too, I like hearing about people's travels. 😍

I ask out of courtesy…but I prefer a ‘yes, it was lovely’ type answer, I really don’t want to know any more details other than that.

UNinterested = lack of interest

DISinterested = no investment/not partisan

i don’t expect people to be interested in my holidays, no. Even if they were polite enough to ask, I’d not say much.

Friends and relatives is one thing, but colleagues is another level of annoyance. Alongside pet dogs, holidays seems to be the only topic of conversation at my workplace. And it doesn't stop at recent vacations. Oh no, it's holidays from years ago, where they would like to go, friends and relatives of theirs holidays 😡. It is a bit galling as half of us are struggling financially, while the higher ups and hubsidised prattle on endlessly.

I like looking at people's holiday pictures on Facebook, as I am interested in travel, but not being held hostage while someone bombards me on person with the phone photos.

Why would you assume they would remember, though? It's not their holiday. It's not a meaningful event for anyone but the actual holidaymaker. I'd remember if one of my friends had, eg, been to their dad's funeral or got married or moved house since I last saw them, but not necessarily that they'd had a week in Mallorca.

If people are asking it's primarily out of politeness rather than desperation to know every detail. Everyone knows other people's holiday snaps are tedious to look at.

It was fun for you. Tell people about it spontaneously. Don't expect people to be queuing up in eager anticipation to hear about it as it's just never especially interesting. So I wouldn't care if someone asked about it or not.

Depends. If I know you went somewhere interesting, I would ask how you found it, or how you think a vegetarian might fare in Rwanda, or about public transport in the Carpathians. If you went on an AI and didn’t leave the resort, I don’t care, unless it was attacked by aliens or had a typhoon. If you are the kind of person who starts with your trip to the airport and a blow by blow description of the flight, and wants to continue to describe the transfer, your accodation etc, I won’t ask you even if you went somewhere interesting.

It kind of depends.

I don't really care about your two weeks' AI in Mallorca, short of 'have a nice time? Good.'

Scaling mountains in Peru? Backpacking in Kazakhstan? Pony-trekking in Finland? Brilliant, tell me all about it.

I like hearing about someone's travels if they're interesting or unusual or something I'd love to do myself, or a place I know nothing about and have loads of questions about. But I'm not massively interested in hearing about someone's week relaxing by a pool and the quality of the hotel breakfast buffet and whether their kids liked the entertainment. I've absolutely no problem with that kind of holiday; I'm not a travel snob and I can totally see why a lot of people enjoy them, but they're not super interesting to hear about.

I might remember to ask or I might not. I don't expect anyone to ask me.

Some people are strange aren't they. It's not entitled.
If a friend went away and I didn't ask I would feel impolite if nothing else for not asking.
No wonder alot of people have trouble with their friendships.

Yes but sadly this distinction is more often ignored these days. Frw people even know the two have totally different meanings.

Alot of people do care.

Do you expect men to ask less than women?

No? Why?

If I meet someone who is back from holiday, yes I would ask them - it's just small talk. I wouldn't get out of my way to ask.

If I randomly see them in the street or somewhere, it probably wouldn't even cross my mind.

That's what social media is for. Put your photos on instagram and facebook, those who are interested comment, those who aren't, they just scroll past.
And it's a nice reminder for you when you look back.

do you specifically get in touch with them to ask about holiday? Sorry but that's weird.

My mum doesn't even do that - holidays will come up in a conversation, but she won't call just to ask!

In between cousins, colleagues, friends and family, it can be hard to remember who has been where.

I definitely do not get offended if someone doesn't ask me about my holiday. There are lots of ways to show someone you care.

No,not a special call, as you say ask when you next meet.

Why is it weird, my friends always message me the day of my flight to wish me a good flight home and the day after I get back to ask if I had a good trip?