new neighbour speaking to me like I am an idiot

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So I'm going to try to assume she does this with everyone but it's fucking annoying. She is only 10 yrs younger than me, both active parents, both lived in various places.

For whatever reason she is talking to me like I'm some forgetful old dear.

So far I just carry on, in the knowledge that at some point the penny is going to drop for her and she'll realize I'm not an idiot.

Should I carry on like this, or openly say something like "I notice you speak to me as if I'm an old dear, are you able to stop this, or do you do it to everyone?

Yanbu, sounds annoying. Can you give an example?

Hard to say without some examples.

I’d say confronting her would be a high risk strategy.

It would be better to learn to tolerate.

How often do you need to speak to your neighbours anyway ?

Does she work somewhere where she has to deal with older people or a call centre? I ended up speaking like a right idiot when I worked in a call centre. A sing songy condescending voice because you're on the phones all day and you just learn to do it to get by the monotony.

Oh I’d play it up, forget her name, pretend you can’t see her because you’re wearing your reading glasses, tell lots of stories about the 80s. Have fun!

I'd be offended if she spoke to an actual old person like they're an "old dear".

But without examples, it's hard to tell. I'm a big believer in the light hearted push back, "hahaha, thanks for your help but I'm perfectly capable of carrying my shopping" or whatever.

Why do you care so much? She’s not your friend, she’s just a neighbour. Let it go, I say!

Not a huge fan of cussing myself, but maybe some strategic swear words might help shift her focus away from the old dear image.

Agree, and give one or two smart arsed answers

I had a colleague like that and she wound up everyone because she sounded patronising. She genuinely didn't mean to and was kindness personified but there was a tone...
I would not say anything to her. She may not be aware. She might be a patronising twat but as someone said, she's a neighbour, not a pal

Is ot her tone or her actual words? Could easily be unintentional and nothing to do with how she perceives you. Can we have some examples?

I would just make a subtle lighthearted joke of it. Ask her if it's your granny pants on the washing line that makes her talk to you like you're an old lady.

She probably does it to everyone though. Maybe see if she does it to other people first.

For maximum impact choose your moment. My DBs second wife is 10 years younger. She’s also a seriously high flyer. They went for dinner with some people and the bloke massively patronized her and talked about the importance of girls’ education. She didn’t like to blow her trumpet, but eventually let slip she had a first class degree from Oxbridge, and her job…. She didn’t need girls’ education mansplained!

It's probably her default setting. I don't really know why you'd be that bothered, or thinking of confronting her about it. She's not your friend, she's just a neighbour. You don't have to say more than hi and bye to her.

I can see why this would be a huge deal to you if she was, eg, your SIL or your boss, but she's literally just someone who happens to live down your street, who you find mildly irritating. That's all. Sometimes people will have a natural manner that slightly annoys us; that's life.

I am actually partially sighted and I don't always recognize her but then, I've only seen her 3 or 4 times, tops. I explained my eyesight to her only recently, so perhaps that is why and now it may (hopefully) change?!

I know a couple of people who do this. I feel a bit sorry for them but I would never bring it up because that would be a bit mean. Presumably they can’t really help it.

Drip feed! 😂

It is annoying, a friend of my mum (30’s), was calling my mum elderly when she was in her mid 50’s.

Yeah, exactly. I used to work on an activist project with someone with a deeply peculiar manner, who called everyone 'darling' in a strange, preoccupied staccato way, sometimes several times in a single utterance, whether they were staff, friends, the general public, and managing to give the general impression she was just too busy and important to remember your name. But she did it to everyone. I recently saw her on a TV programme about house restoration, and she was still at it, 'darling'-ing everyone from the presenter to the builders to some local historian.

Don’t speak to her then 🙄

OMG? Literally the worst advice given. Ever. In the history of advice.

Translated your advice reads as: Just put up with it because it might cause some offence or some uncomfortable feelings. Seriously who gives that as advice? 🤦‍♀️

One of the nearby neighbours ( our street curves round ) keeps saying “ oh bless “ I feel likes she is being patronising as if I’m a dotty tiny old lady .
it Is annoying

“And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive them that trespass against us”

I’d be tempted to say ‘Oh no, it’s fluffing you again’! But if someone is patronising or rude to me, I give them a dose of their own medicine. It makes me smile!

OP examples are needed. Because either she does speak to you like that or you’re the one projecting something. Hard to tell.