new neighbour speaking to me like I am an idiot

[SaturatedCorn]

So I'm going to try to assume she does this with everyone but it's fucking annoying. She is only 10 yrs younger than me, both active parents, both lived in various places.

For whatever reason she is talking to me like I'm some forgetful old dear.

So far I just carry on, in the knowledge that at some point the penny is going to drop for her and she'll realize I'm not an idiot.

Should I carry on like this, or openly say something like "I notice you speak to me as if I'm an old dear, are you able to stop this, or do you do it to everyone?

Oh, so you're an uneducated, small minded bigot who would treat someone rudely based on the preconceptions you have from watching total strangers on TV who happen to come from a country with 350 million individual people.

Thanks for clearing that up.

Well, you should know that most people aren't like you and it is exceptionally unlikely that anybody except another uneducated bigot with your particular illogical hatred for Americans would treat someone rudely based on their accent.

Hope this helps.

It's quite possible your neighbour is not very self-confident and has adopted a way of speaking to you that makes her feel more confident, instead of just being herself. You'll probably have come across this kind of thing before, the kind of slightly pompous, condescending way of speaking to others. Doesn't want to reveal much of herself so falls into this kind of fake persona. Maybe ask her about herself and she'll relax and be less annoying.

Someone who realises it's mildly annoying but not the end of the world and seeing as they have to live in close proximity decided to let it go possibly? Not the worst advice at all.

So you see her, she sees you but you didn’t actually see her clearly enough for you to recognise her at first, you then recognised her? You might of looked a bit puzzled or something which is why she believes you’re a ‘forgetful old dear’.

Gardenroomdoom- youre the sort of irritating person we DONT need to hear when we have to ring a call centre.Cut the cr*p sing- songy patronising voice or get a different job.

I can’t be bothered to read through the entire thread. Your opening post said it all. You’re clearly more than neighbours as you know plenty about each other.
She’s a neighbour op. A neighbour.
Not your boss, your family , your friend: just a neighbour.

A “ good morning X, yep, such a glorious day today weather wise. Off to work now . Cheerio”
should suffice .

How are you allowing yourself to get into such conversations where you are feeling this way. With a neighbour?

I say pleasantries to mine but tell them fuck all about me or mine and vice versa.

Chill out over it. This really isn’t a big deal.

I had a new neighbour (mid 30's) who asked if I (mid 50's) was going shopping.
Me: No, off to work.
Her: Oh, that's nice. Good to have a little job. Bless. Keeps you busy. Gets you out of the house.
Me: Nod and smile, nod and smile. As I drive off to my job as a university lecturer.
Don't let these people get to you.

Or, before the OP mentioned her sight, the neighbour just thought she was a bit ditzy because she couldn't seem to remember the neighbour. Not everything is driven by malice...

She may not be aware of her tone but equally you may not be aware of your body language. Do you stoop a bit, squint and appear confused because you don't immediately notice someone. All those things give ' old dear' vibes.

You've completely misread that poster. They were saying clearly some Brits are that bigoted. Perhaps read posts properly before getting on your soapbox and ranting at another person.

Hope this helps.

This reminds of that old radio program "Does he take sugar?" Some people associate any physical disability with a mental disability. It is just their ignorance and lack of knowledge. Don't take it to heart. My MIL is registered blind (age-related macular degeneration) yet her mind is as sharp as a tack. Try to ignore people's ignorance if you can.

I had to do a speed awareness course last week. One of the slides lists things on the road in level of vulnerability. The most vulnerable are not people but people on mobility scooters. I asked the tutor at the end why someone on a mobility scooter on the pavement ( who could easily knock me over, break my ankle etc) was more vulnerable than a person without one. Her response was that it is assumed that someone using one of those would most likely have a mental incapacity as well as a physical one and it is for able bodied people to jump out of the way rather than the other way around. So there you go.

My female neighbour is a C of E vicars wife. She speaks in the weird singy songy way they all do. Very odd.

Well that was a massive drip feed OP! You haven't been recognising her, because you are partially sighted, and she had no idea of the cause of your apparently strange behaviour (her perception). She has adjusted her approach accordingly.

I think you are confusing things. Able-bodied people can jump out of the way of a car quicker than an electric scooter user can stop. A car driver can kill a pedestrian or electric scooter user, so they should give way. Most young pedestrians have acute hearing and sight, so we might expect them to not move in front of us, but an elderly person on a Zimmer frame or electric scooter might not have sensed us. It is not because they are stupid, it is because their senses are no longer acute. The electric scooter is a clear sign that a road user is vulnerable.

SaturatedCorn Just be grateful that she is not one of those neighbours from hell.

@CalmDownKarenreally? Tolerate your neighbour is the worst advice you’ve ever heard? Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

One of my favourite responses from our neighbours (about ten years older than us) was when we had a housewarming party and they came to say goodbye.
Mrs Neighbour "We are off to bed now"
Me "Oh we'll try to keep the noise down"
Mrs Neighbour "Yes, us too" 😂
This was when I knew we would be friends 😁

Yeah that struck me as well. 80 wasn't the olden days, I was around in the 80s and I'm early 50s. There nothing olde. days about it. I went to raves for heaven sake .

She Is doing it deliberately to undermine you. She doesn’t want others to think she’s a complete bitch so she patronises you in a way to make her look caring and sympathetic whilst making you appear older and doddery.

At the heart of it is insecurity and jealousy.

You regain the power by talking down to her and stopping this nonsense.

’Bethany, stop talking to me like I’m an idiot, it’s very patronising and makes you look foolish!’

It's interesting, there's a lot of ageism (and a bit of sizeism!) being displayed in these posts. How is it ever ok to think that if one actually is elderly or a "dotty tiny old lady" as someone has put it, then it would in fact be ok for people to be patronising or use a special voice or manner? The complaints here seem to be that someone who isn't yet old is being treated as if they were. We're all going to be that very elderly person one day, unless we die first, and I don't suppose we'll be any happier with being talked down to then than we are now.

quite offensive ageism here.so people who talk about the 80s are old dears?also in a call centre people should not be talking to people in a patronising manner.Mumsnet seem to think that soft ageism is ok.

and perhaps 'elderly' could be changed to older adult or much older adult as also mumsnet tends to think anyone over 60 can be called that.unacceptable

perhaps stop using 'old dear' phrases. so galling that ageism isnt seen as a prejudice and one that is dangerous.

You like to talk bollys I take it.
Does it matter how OP speaks as long as she can make herself understood?