new neighbour speaking to me like I am an idiot

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So I'm going to try to assume she does this with everyone but it's fucking annoying. She is only 10 yrs younger than me, both active parents, both lived in various places.

For whatever reason she is talking to me like I'm some forgetful old dear.

So far I just carry on, in the knowledge that at some point the penny is going to drop for her and she'll realize I'm not an idiot.

Should I carry on like this, or openly say something like "I notice you speak to me as if I'm an old dear, are you able to stop this, or do you do it to everyone?

Unless you can give an actual example, she might be right

Ignore her.

Agree - Have fun with it - Maybe 'accidently' wander in to her kitchen & sit down innocently waiting for dinner?? Ask her to help search for your (imaginary) cat?
Speak about things like 'in the olden days'...(1980s)....eg when you were a dancer on Top of the Pops.... - then get genned up & ask questions about current political policies, rubbish current TV, oh and ask for advice about pensions for when you are old enough, or what you should do with all your money?

Invite her to the private rave next week?

But, I am pretty sure that when I was about 20, I thought that being about 40 was ancient 🙂- so maybe do all tongue in cheek, then kindly let her know & hopefully have a little giggle with her?
It doesn't sound like malice is intended, from what you have said so far?
(Or, if it is malicious, ask what face cream she uses as you have been told that you look younger than her (that maybe a 'lil bit brutal though, Hmm depends....) . XX 😉🌹

I imagine she's trying to be caring. I think I'd probably just say something. Or avoid her. I have said to someone, I'm 50, not 90 you know. I think some people have an imaginary line which divides young and old in their head.

Are you sure she doesn’t talk to everyone like that?

Your spelling of realise and recognise suggests that you may be American. Are you living in the UK? If so, it may not be your age behind speaking to you that way!

If she is patronising, you must ask yourself if she is the kind of person you want to have a conversation with, apart from the neighbourly basics of Good morning. We have new neighbours and I just say hello, nice day, or whatever. I don't get into any conversation. Like that you can address the big stuff if it happens without feeling you have to take a step back from friendly boundaries.

Why bother talking to her at all? When you see her coming, turn and walk away. If she ambushes you, look at her blankly then turn and walk away.

Do let her see you chatting to other neighbours and people if possible though. No reason to have any conversations with rude people.

Pardon? Are you saying people in the UK are so bigoted and ignorant that they talk down to Americans as standard?

What ages are you? 40 and 50 or 80 and 90?

I’d drop something in to the conversation to alert her to your ability to be a high functioning adult. ‘Oh I was just reading about developments in data governance. I was CEO of the ICO before I retired and maintain an interest’.

You could say to her 'could you repeat that, dear?'

Do it about 3 times

She is just a passing neighbour why do you even care?! 🤷‍♀️

Haha, agreed.

I would amp it up

Like a PP I have been a victim of 'oh bless.'
I am in my late 50s but sat in the optician being oh blessed constantly was disconcerting! I said nothing but felt about 102.
The perpetrator was young and probably felt being kind and polite...

Just mulling over the fact that two PPs have described the 1980s as the olden days - I feel old now!

I'm saying that some are, yes. You've watched/heard/read the news at some point in the past few weeks presumably? That alone should show you how bigoted and ignorant some people in the UK are!

We need examples otherwise there’s no way of answering.

Agree examples are needed. What do you mean by they treat you like an idiot or someone older?
Are they actually trying to be helpful with comments e.g. reminders of bin day?
Have you done anything for them to make them think you need treating this way - you have drip fed about being partially sighted, maybe when they didn't know that they noticed something about the way you were acted and were actually trying to be helpful and show concern to check you were ok.

Oh, that's it, then - she's categorised you as 'A Disabled', and therefore mentally deficient... 🙄 How unlovely of her...

Yes, you're right, I watched the news yesterday and a couple of protesters had a flag up with the word Gammon on. Total bigots.

I'd be tempted to mirror her mannerisms and turns of speech, so that she either (a) starts to worry that you see her as some sort of vulnerable idiot or (b) realises you are taking the micky and starts to become self-aware.

We have neighbours who think they are above the rest of us and speak down to us. The neighbours on the other side have said the same and they are in their 80s and complain the neighbours think they are idiots.

They tell us how amazing their holiday was and then are deliberately vague about where it was because 'they don't want everyone going'. They are tossers. I avoid speaking to them. My husband is a bit more friendly but less so since the chap was a D1,CK about cutting a tree down.

Give her a wide berth.

I'd keep asking her if she understands you and does she need it simplifying. Make it clear that you think she's thick with phrases like "oh, this is too complicated for you" or "I didn't think you'd understand this". It works a treat for me everytime.

I'm more perturbed by people suggesting 80s are 'olden days' ..that was only a year or two ago..🤔😉🙈😂

I have a colleague who does this. They are 30 and I'm 45. They make comments about my clothing and music, calling it 'mum music' and said my clothing 'might be back in fashion one day'. It really upset me. One day I had an opportunity and just told her that I thought she was incredibly rude. She was seriously taken aback and said she has 'just been joking'. I made my point that it was actually really upsetting and unkind. It was clear no one has actually called her out on her behaviour before. I think it's important to address this stuff, as there's this entitlement in younger people that they can say what they like.