Attending A&E when no one to look after child after school

[worrierd]

I’ve got some on and off chest discomfort for a year or so now. Previous ECGs all ok. Awaiting CT of coronary arteries and 24hr tape to be on the safe side according to cardiologist. It’s probably menopause and stress. It’s worse today. I have literally no one to look after my 10 year old except for his 16 year old sister once she gets back from college around 3 hours after he finishes school. I’m a single parent and his dad is dead. What happens in these situations?

I’m sure it will be menopause related. Fucking hormones.
ECG borderline, have had bloods taken and am waiting for a chest xray and to see the doctor. I’ve been told by every professional so far that it was the right thing to come in. Not that it was my choice as 111 sent me. The GP surgery would have sent me straight to A&E too so no point ringing them. There’s a message when you phone up to say if it’s chest pain go to A&E/999.

I didn’t post asking for advice on whether or not to go to A&E-I asked for advice I’ve regarding having nobody to collect and look after ds. Dd still isn’t home-college is a 2 hour bus or train and bus journey. Plus school don’t allow anyone under 18 to collect. New rule this month. There is one parent who has helped when I’ve been ill but he’s changed jobs and no longer collects from school. Neighbour’s kids go to a different school. I posted here because quite often mumsnet comes up with solutions I haven’t thought of and I value that. AIBU is brutal and judgemental especially on anything medical, despite having no medical qualifications to advise. Everyone’s a critic and everyone’s a medic!

To pp who lost your mum: I’m so sorry. Too often women ignore things or are ignored or a combination of both and it can be fatal

My Ds only has me. One seriously disabled grandparent who is currently in hospital. Godparents who are elderly and unwell themselves. That’s it. Dd has additional needs too so asking her to look after her brother is a big ask although she would. She’d be very anxious though as would he.

Dont think police do baby sitting

Just collect him next time and go from there straight to the hospital, he is in school not jail

Fingers crossed for you OP, it can be very scary going through these things alone. Ignore the naysayers. My chest pain turned out to be a pulmonary embolism, so you should never ever ignore it - particularly if it's some aggy/judgy posters on MN who just want to have a go about how they have childcare and you don't! Women all too often ignore pains because the don't want to cause a fuss and it can be fatal. You did the right thing going.

I hope you don't have to worry about it in future but it's definitely worth asking the school to see if they have someone like the poster up-thread who is a trusted person for emergencies. I'd also have a think on doing a Will, mainly so you can appoint someone to look after DC should the worst happen. Even a letter of wishes if you can't afford a full Will service right now would probably be a good thing to do. Not saying you're dying, obviously, but just so you've covered that while it's on your mind so there's no confusion should the worst happen. Good luck with it all.

Sorry you've been ripped apart on here by idiots OP, hope you are ok.
You were absolutely right to go to A and E.
Once things have settled, have a think about referring yourself to social services. They will be able to help you with emergency support. Even if it's just signposting you to the right places.
My friend is an emergency foster carer and she sometimes gets referrals for school pick ups.

I hope you're ok OP. Glad you found a solution for this time. If there's a next time its ok to take your son with you. I've been in that position before, a lone parent with nobody I could ask to help, and had to go to hospital with toddler DD in tow and it was fine.

You poor thing, @worrierd. I lot of people just don’t get how you can’t easily leave a high needs kid. It sounds as if the both of you have had a hell of a time. When you’re feeling better, it might be helpful to talk to the senco as they may have some advice on local service etc that they can sign post you to in terms of making a future plan. Sending love to you and your boy.

How are you feeling OP? 🩷

Hope you are ok op

Hope it gets sorted quickly OP. Nice work on finding a solution for DS.

I’m shattered but home now. Ds was brought to me at the hospital and spent the last hour and a half with me. I’ve got to rest 😂 and try to decrease my stress levels. There’s a strong family history of cardiac problems and menopause seems to be causing me a lot of trouble along with the stress. It’s great to be reassured but then I have to go back each time.
I’m going to see what the Sendco and can recommend as a start and put a plan in place for any future issues. I really hope there aren’t any but it’s good to prepare for any eventualities.
Thank you to those who understood my situation. I really appreciate it.

People aren't very understanding as you went to A&E went you didn't need to (probably again) and it's wasting resources.

So glad you're ok, and I think you 100% did the right thing. I'm sure all of the medical professionals did too! Hope you have a restful weekend. X

Actually, it’s extremely useful to have an ECG from when the pain is worse when you’re trying to work out whether it’s cardiac or not. And if A&E also did bloods to check troponin levels, it sounds like they thought she was right to go.

Did you miss the bit where I was told to go by 111 after a clinician phoned me back and took my history and symptoms? And told by every member of trained healthcare staff I saw that it was the right thing to do.

I am sorry you have had a hard time on this thread. I don't think people always realise how hard it is to build a support network if you don't have family nearby who can help and your children have additional needs/medical needs

My suggestions, as you do need to plan for this, and it can't fall to your DD

• get on the class WhatsApp.
• can your son go to after school club once a week? Then that becomes an option at least
• offer to have his friends round a lot. I let my daughter have friends round a lot/ eg on inset days and holidays etc. Result -, when I need a favour I don't feel at all bad asking!
• could you find a babysitter, or a couple of different ones, to use for an hour or so here or there to give yourself a break. This will give you another network to call on in a crisis too. Given his age they could be older teens or similar

No, she was right to go. All advice is that chest pain, particularly if it is increasing should be checked at A&E. It is not wasting resources.

111 are always going to say go to a&e in these situations, they have to cover themselves.

No member of staff is going to tell you you shouldn't have gone even if that's what they thought. I've said to plenty of patients that they were right to come in even if it's been the biggest waste of time and there's no reason for them to be there. It's called being polite.

They would always tell you to go to A and E with chest pain. They have to.

Yes. And why is that, do you think?

Do they do chest X-rays, extensive bloods and chase up a 24hr tape and coronary artery CT to be polite? Polite would be the bare minimum and sent on your way.

What else do you suggest? If OP thinks she’s having a heart attack, there’s no time to mess around! We have had the police turn up at school when something has happened to a parent - they don’t march into the classroom and announce it, there’s ways of bringing the child somewhere private to speak to them.
When my DSis died suddenly, the police went to my nephew’s school and he was brought home by the police with a member of staff who stayed with him until my BIL got home.

How are you? Any results? Did they check your cardiac troponin blood levels?

Well, exactly.

Worsening chest pains with a history of cardiac issues is absolutely a reason to go in. Even without the history of cardiac issues.

Not maybe wrong. Just wrong.