Page 3 | Attending A&E when no one to look after child after school

worrierd · 2025-09-12T12:48:50+00:00

I’ve got some on and off chest discomfort for a year or so now. Previous ECGs all ok. Awaiting CT of coronary arteries and 24hr tape to be on the safe side according to cardiologist. It’s probably menopause and stress. It’s worse today. I have literally no one to look after my 10 year old except for his 16 year old sister once she gets back from college around 3 hours after he finishes school. I’m a single parent and his dad is dead. What happens in these situations?

triballeader · 12/09/2025 15:38

Only when you sure you are okay after A&E have checked you out.

Speak with the school SENCO.

I am suggesting this as I was contacted my the SENCO as they knew I had an eDBS, checked out with social services and had a mum going frantic with one very sick child in a regional children’s and a very autistic child who no one would help with. They had no nearby family and mum was single parent and autistic too. School knew my house had been adapted for severe autism needs and it was a horrible situation the mum found herself in. I stepped in to help by looking after said child every day after school till 8pm till younger child was off the critical list and recovering post op. Yes it was tough going but I know it made a difference and I continued to pick said child up when younger child was back in for extra surgery so mum could spend the day with them.

If the school does not have something similar they may be able to signpost you to safe local support you might not know about.

Mugfills · 12/09/2025 15:39

worrierd · 12/09/2025 15:00

Thank you for the replies. 111 are sending me to A&E due to it being chest pain to rule out any cardiac and am just waiting for a taxi. I’ve found someone to collect Ds but it’s not as easy as some are suggesting on here. I have no friends, Ds has very few friends and doesn’t get play date invitations. additional needs make play dates tricky. I’m autistic and don’t have friends. I’ll come up with something for future reference.
and no, I don’t have health anxiety! I am anxious about my child seeing as his dad dropped dead last year. God, I love AIBU!

It would be natural if you were a bit over anxious about your health. I know I was after DH died, and I felt the overwhelming pressure of being the only one DC had left, what happens to them if the same thing happens to me? etc.

newshoestoday · 12/09/2025 15:48

worrierd · 12/09/2025 15:00

Thank you for the replies. 111 are sending me to A&E due to it being chest pain to rule out any cardiac and am just waiting for a taxi. I’ve found someone to collect Ds but it’s not as easy as some are suggesting on here. I have no friends, Ds has very few friends and doesn’t get play date invitations. additional needs make play dates tricky. I’m autistic and don’t have friends. I’ll come up with something for future reference.
and no, I don’t have health anxiety! I am anxious about my child seeing as his dad dropped dead last year. God, I love AIBU!

Good luck, I hope you get seen quickly and they are able to send you home.
In the longer term, talk to school as well and see if they can help you with getting some support or contingency plans in place, it’s so scary when you are stuck and I feel for you xxx

RedBloodMoon · 12/09/2025 15:57

@UserUserUser12 It just doesn’t sound to me like she does, the likelihood is she’ll wait for hours, have an ECG and a blood test to check the levels that would be raised if she’d had a heart attack (forgot the name of the levels they look for) and send her on her way. But hopefully it will put her mind at rest and they won’t find anything sinister going on, so it may be worth going actually

rainbowunicorn · 12/09/2025 16:02

RedBloodMoon · 12/09/2025 14:48

I don’t think you need A&E x

Is that based on extensive medical training or something else? OP is experiencing worsening chest pain. A & E is absolutely the correct place.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 12/09/2025 16:04

Teeheehee1579 · 12/09/2025 14:06

I am really unclear as to why this needs A&E - you are already under investigation (or have been) so at most you need to call your GP and see if they will see you or what they advise knowing your history.

As the OP says, chest pain

rainbowunicorn · 12/09/2025 16:05

Soontobe60 · 12/09/2025 13:57

Have you phoned your GP or 111? I’m a bit unclear as to why you’re going to A+E. However, I would contact your older DC and tell them they need to go home to be with your 10 year old until you speak to them later.

She has worsening chest pain. A & E is absolutely appropriate.

rainbowunicorn · 12/09/2025 16:06

Teeheehee1579 · 12/09/2025 14:06

I am really unclear as to why this needs A&E - you are already under investigation (or have been) so at most you need to call your GP and see if they will see you or what they advise knowing your history.

As she has worsening chest pain it dosent matter that she is already under cardiology. She would be advised to go to A & E

Balloonhearts · 12/09/2025 16:08

Can a friends parent not pick him up and have him for dinner? Class WhatsApp group? I'd do it for someone in our group, even if I didn't know them.

rainbowunicorn · 12/09/2025 16:09

WFHforevermore · 12/09/2025 14:29

Without being rude, if you are well to be on MN about it, youre well enough to wait until both kids are home and then still go AE if needed.

Don't talk nonsense. It is perfectly possible to be completed lucid and able to carry out normal tasks while having a cardiac event. Particularly so for women. Someone I know worked a 10 hour shift with some discomfort, think she had a pulled muscle. She was actually having a heart attack.

Flakey99 · 12/09/2025 16:09

Take care @worrierd I hope it’s just a false alarm and that you’re seen quickly. <<hugs>>

As other posters have said, when you’re home again, start making a plan to increase your social circle.

When you’re collecting DS from school try and talk to other parents and ask if there’s a class WhatsApp group and join it.

You only need a couple of friends who will help you out in an emergency so try not to feel overwhelmed by the task.

I’m autistic too but I’m good at making friends as I’ll start up a conversation with anyone and I’m both direct and very thick skinned.

A few years ago one of the single parent mums who I hardly knew asked if I’d look after her dog for a week so she could go on holiday and I agreed. (It was a nightmare dog as it wasn’t well trained and even her own brother who also has a child at the school refused to have it. 😂)

The great thing is that there are other people like me out there who will happily help other mums out in an emergency. You just need to find them.

rainbowunicorn · 12/09/2025 16:11

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 12/09/2025 14:30

I'm not sure you need to go to A and E @worrierd

Have you got health anxiety? You're already under the cardiac team. What's the reason for your proposed visit today?

Are you saying that because she is under the cardiac team she shouldn't go to A & E with worsening chest pain? Thats not a very well thought out idea.

rainbowunicorn · 12/09/2025 16:12

PurpleThistle7 · 12/09/2025 14:32

I’m sorry you aren’t feeling great but ad it’s not an emergency just wait for everyone to get home and head in?

How is worsening chest pain not am emergency? The one thing that they always recommend going to A&E for is chest pain.

RedBloodMoon · 12/09/2025 16:13

rainbowunicorn · 12/09/2025 16:02

Is that based on extensive medical training or something else? OP is experiencing worsening chest pain. A & E is absolutely the correct place.

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No, only an awful lot of personal experience. I may well be proved wrong but I’ve been to a&e with chest pain several times even had ambulances when my anxiety was at its worst, only to get there and have a normal ECG and wait about 10 hours. I always have an inverted t wave too which if she has something like that could cause unnecessary anxiety even though it can be caused by anxiety itself.

but yes I was maybe wrong to say that as the blanket rule is chest pain = a&e

LegoVsFoot · 12/09/2025 16:17

I have had to go to A&E with my kids when an emergency and no choice

rainbowunicorn · 12/09/2025 16:20

RedBloodMoon · 12/09/2025 16:13

No, only an awful lot of personal experience. I may well be proved wrong but I’ve been to a&e with chest pain several times even had ambulances when my anxiety was at its worst, only to get there and have a normal ECG and wait about 10 hours. I always have an inverted t wave too which if she has something like that could cause unnecessary anxiety even though it can be caused by anxiety itself.

but yes I was maybe wrong to say that as the blanket rule is chest pain = a&e

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Best to keep personal opinions out of it if you dont actually have any medical training. Posts like yours can cause harm if an OP is constantly told that tbey should not waste A&E resources. It may stop someone seeking help when they need it.

RedBloodMoon · 12/09/2025 16:28

rainbowunicorn · 12/09/2025 16:20

Best to keep personal opinions out of it if you dont actually have any medical training. Posts like yours can cause harm if an OP is constantly told that tbey should not waste A&E resources. It may stop someone seeking help when they need it.

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Yes this is true, I see your point but on the other side of the coin it could cause her to make the decision to use up NHS time when it’s not needed. Really the OP should’ve just phoned 111 straight away or her GP etc.. rather than asking on Mumsnet.

Lululullabies · 12/09/2025 16:41

Good luck @worrierd not surprised you are being sent to A+E.

This is literally the worst place I have ever experienced for A+E advice. I am convinced that as a prerequisite to join the site all MN must have had to have at least one seriously long wait in A+E and have taken a vow to reduce the A+E numbers at all costs now and just see the odd death from poor MN advice as collateral damage.

Mugfills · 12/09/2025 16:49

RedBloodMoon · 12/09/2025 16:28

Yes this is true, I see your point but on the other side of the coin it could cause her to make the decision to use up NHS time when it’s not needed. Really the OP should’ve just phoned 111 straight away or her GP etc.. rather than asking on Mumsnet.

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11 will always say A&E for chest pain, but so many peole on MN think they know better.

ZingyLemonMoose · 12/09/2025 16:50

I’ve been in a similar situation and had to go to a&e with what turned out to be pneumonia. I had to take my 4 with me and say I couldn’t be admitted

Soontobe60 · 12/09/2025 16:51

rainbowunicorn · 12/09/2025 16:05

She has worsening chest pain. A & E is absolutely appropriate.

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In which case she phones 999 and the police can deal with her dc!

SurvivalInstinctsOfABakedPotato · 12/09/2025 16:52

I'd ask school to taxi him home and you pay your end and then leave him home with some movies till sister gets in

MatildaTheCat · 12/09/2025 16:57

Soontobe60 · 12/09/2025 16:51

In which case she phones 999 and the police can deal with her dc!

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What a lovely plan…

HelloDaisy · 12/09/2025 17:30

I hope you get seen fairly quickly and all is ok.

I was in and out of a&e and the doctor’s with chest pain. Mine was the menopause along with low iron and exacerbated by health anxiety caused by sudden death in family. However, one doctor told me that we should always go in with chest pain as you never know. Better to get it checked and be ok than not…

Maybe have a chat with your daughter and sort out a plan.

rainbowunicorn · 12/09/2025 17:46

RedBloodMoon · 12/09/2025 16:28

Yes this is true, I see your point but on the other side of the coin it could cause her to make the decision to use up NHS time when it’s not needed. Really the OP should’ve just phoned 111 straight away or her GP etc.. rather than asking on Mumsnet.

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She did, if you read her updates she says so. She wasn't looking for advice on whether to go to a&e. She was posting about her childcare situation.