New relationship and ‘bodily functions’

Willowsmuum · 2025-09-11T14:54:25+00:00

I’m in my first ‘new’ relationship after being in a 16 year marriage. Given the long duration of that, we were very open in terms of bodily functions etc! I’ve been with my new boyfriend for 4 months and he’s yet to break wind in front of me. I really want him to so I can do so too and not be in pain from holding it in 😂 Is there an ‘acceptable’ time to wait for this? It’s all new to me!

ScreamingInfidelities · 11/09/2025 15:58

My husband didn’t fart in front of me for the first year we were seeing each other. I was so relieved when he finally did, I was making myself ill holding it in all the time - I have mild IBS and the bloating was killing me!

twobabiesandapup · 11/09/2025 15:59

I may be a massive prude here 😂 but after more than four years (and two children) with mine I still haven’t done this! I don’t know why as he wouldn’t care, but growing up that kind of thing was always really bad manners in my house so I think it’s stuck with me. He wouldn’t do it intentionally in the room with me either, he’d leave the room to do it or just do it when I’m not there (the smell is a very telltale sign of this!)

edited to add: I voted YANBU because I do in fact it’s a very normal thing to do, I’m just an overly embarrassed person 😂

Lavender14 · 11/09/2025 16:03

Why does he need to go first?! Could you bring it up if you're worried about it and make it a bit of a joke? Or are you really worried how he might react?

WinoTime · 11/09/2025 16:14

No one breaks wind in front of anyone in our house.

There is no need.

If you need to break wind -then go into another room, or the toilet.

Perhaps your new man is of the same mind - or he just isn't windy?

Rightandwrong · 11/09/2025 16:18

Yet another weird MN fixation . There's been a few threads about farting in front of partners and spouses. Some MN posters obviously see it as a bonding exercise.
Maybe farting is a normal bodily function and sometimes it can't be helped doing it infront of other people. But I was certainly brought up to consider farting infront of other people as inconsiderate and rude and I struggle to see why OP wants her partner to fart while he is in the same room as her. Unless she has a fetish involving farting.

relentlessbrainfog · 11/09/2025 16:21

twobabiesandapup · 11/09/2025 15:59

I may be a massive prude here 😂 but after more than four years (and two children) with mine I still haven’t done this! I don’t know why as he wouldn’t care, but growing up that kind of thing was always really bad manners in my house so I think it’s stuck with me. He wouldn’t do it intentionally in the room with me either, he’d leave the room to do it or just do it when I’m not there (the smell is a very telltale sign of this!)

edited to add: I voted YANBU because I do in fact it’s a very normal thing to do, I’m just an overly embarrassed person 😂

Edited

I’m the exact same, 4 years and two children and I absolutely could not do it 😂 doesn’t stop him though. Honestly never heard anything like it.

5128gap · 11/09/2025 16:21

Amused at your ideas of etiquette that dictate is perfectly fine to subject your partner to your flatulence, but only if the man takes the lead. If its an important part of intimacy to you, it's 2025, blaze a trail for the sisterhood and go first.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 11/09/2025 16:22

Why do you think that he wants the be that comfortable? With DH 19 years, his occasional 💨 is not pleasant.
I very rarely fart, probably once a day, never around anyone
It's rude, smelling someone's full.bowel, the potential for shitting your underwear is enough to put me off.

Danioyellow · 11/09/2025 16:24

Rightandwrong · 11/09/2025 16:18

Yet another weird MN fixation . There's been a few threads about farting in front of partners and spouses. Some MN posters obviously see it as a bonding exercise.
Maybe farting is a normal bodily function and sometimes it can't be helped doing it infront of other people. But I was certainly brought up to consider farting infront of other people as inconsiderate and rude and I struggle to see why OP wants her partner to fart while he is in the same room as her. Unless she has a fetish involving farting.

You think that if people aren’t arsed about farting in front of each other, that must mean they have a fetish?

Original poster

Willowsmuum · 11/09/2025 16:24

Rightandwrong · 11/09/2025 16:18

Yet another weird MN fixation . There's been a few threads about farting in front of partners and spouses. Some MN posters obviously see it as a bonding exercise.
Maybe farting is a normal bodily function and sometimes it can't be helped doing it infront of other people. But I was certainly brought up to consider farting infront of other people as inconsiderate and rude and I struggle to see why OP wants her partner to fart while he is in the same room as her. Unless she has a fetish involving farting.

No fetish I can assure you 😂just not a prude

OP posts:

EmeraldShamrock000 · 11/09/2025 16:26

Willowsmuum · 11/09/2025 16:24

No fetish I can assure you 😂just not a prude

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It's not prudish to feel uncomfortable with the smell of shit wafting from your partners bottom.

CurlewKate · 11/09/2025 16:26

My dp and I have been together for nearly 40 years and we’ve never farted in from of each other if we can avoid it. If you can hold it in, you can pop to the loo. If you can’t, go for it and say excuse me, or something.

twobabiesandapup · 11/09/2025 16:27

relentlessbrainfog · 11/09/2025 16:21

I’m the exact same, 4 years and two children and I absolutely could not do it 😂 doesn’t stop him though. Honestly never heard anything like it.

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😂

I have to say I did have one episode when I gave birth to our first, I’d had the epidural and was still numb from the waste down, as I was being stitched up I heard the “noise” and I glanced over to my partner who tried to hide a smile and pretend he never heard, but to break the imaginary tension I decide to say “ooh, windy!” 😂 to which my partner and the midwife both chuckled. Still to this day we refer to it as “the day I was windy” 😂😂

InveterateWineDrinker · 11/09/2025 16:27

the potential for shitting your underwear is enough to put me off

I've been in more car crashes than times I've shat myself, but it doesn't put me off getting in a car. Jeez.

OP, just cock your leg and go for it. If it puts him off he's not for you.

5128gap · 11/09/2025 16:29

Oh, and to answer your question, it's not about timing. The world is divided into those who'd think its fine, and those who'd be pretty disgusted by it. I dont think relationship duration is the turning point. You won't know which he is until you test it. If it helps, the odds are in your favour as more men seem to think this is OK (amusing even) than women.

Doornon · 11/09/2025 16:30

For some reason this became a stalemate between us neither wanting to be first and many years later still neither of us do it in front of each other. I prefer it that way. We just go to the toilet and do what we need to do there. We don’t complain about it to each other either. I do think it’s socially unacceptable to do it intentionally and unpleasant for others. Accidentally is fine

TrimayrAcademy · 11/09/2025 16:31

EmeraldShamrock000 · 11/09/2025 16:22

Why do you think that he wants the be that comfortable? With DH 19 years, his occasional 💨 is not pleasant.
I very rarely fart, probably once a day, never around anyone
It's rude, smelling someone's full.bowel, the potential for shitting your underwear is enough to put me off.

If you are shitting yourself when you pass wind you may need to see a doctor. The only time I have ever done this is when I had picked up a nasty parasite in Mexico.

OP if you are comfortable letting go then do so, he will either join you or be horrified in which case you can say you have an upset stomach and try to respect that from now on.

PosiePetal · 11/09/2025 16:31

4.5 years in and this happened to me for the 1st time last week! I apologised and he commented on how it was the first time he had ever heard me break wind. It couldn't just be a simple one, either, could it? He said he was quite impressed at it's 'extravagance.'

Mugfills · 11/09/2025 16:32

Doornon · 11/09/2025 16:30

For some reason this became a stalemate between us neither wanting to be first and many years later still neither of us do it in front of each other. I prefer it that way. We just go to the toilet and do what we need to do there. We don’t complain about it to each other either. I do think it’s socially unacceptable to do it intentionally and unpleasant for others. Accidentally is fine

Edited

Isn't that how things should be? People talk about respect in a relationship, surely that's fairly entry level?

As for being in pain holding it in, are you all farting in the cinema, in work meetings, over coffee?

UnctuousUnicorns · 11/09/2025 16:34

30 years together and we've never deliberately broken wind in front of each other, certainly not in our waking hours. It would be gross and disrespectful to. If you can hold it in the presence of your boss or other work colleagues, you can hold it in with your spouse or partner. I don't give a shit if anyone thinks I'm a prude, I'd rather that than be married to some slob who sits on the sofa shifting his arse cheek to let one out while I'm sitting across from or beside him. Fuck that. Or not, I should say.

UnctuousUnicorns · 11/09/2025 16:36

PosiePetal · 11/09/2025 16:31

4.5 years in and this happened to me for the 1st time last week! I apologised and he commented on how it was the first time he had ever heard me break wind. It couldn't just be a simple one, either, could it? He said he was quite impressed at it's 'extravagance.'

Who said romance is dead?

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 11/09/2025 16:36

WinoTime · 11/09/2025 16:14

No one breaks wind in front of anyone in our house.

There is no need.

If you need to break wind -then go into another room, or the toilet.

Perhaps your new man is of the same mind - or he just isn't windy?

Same in our house

Doornon · 11/09/2025 16:37

Mugfills · 11/09/2025 16:32

Isn't that how things should be? People talk about respect in a relationship, surely that's fairly entry level?

As for being in pain holding it in, are you all farting in the cinema, in work meetings, over coffee?

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I think he would be ok with doing it in front of me and he used to with his ex

the reason I think this is because on their very old game console profile she has an avatar with a fart name. 😂

I think it’s childish however I do regale him with ladylike updates about my terrible IBS woes from time to time but never graphically. I don’t hide that I have IBS but I just discreetly manage it how I would do at work

Nanny0gg · 11/09/2025 16:37

Willowsmuum · 11/09/2025 16:24

No fetish I can assure you 😂just not a prude

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Why the insult if others don't want to/don't like to fart in front of others?

TheDogsMother · 11/09/2025 16:38

Why do you have to do it in front of each other ? Aside from the odd accidental one I would find it a turn off.