New relationship and ‘bodily functions’

[Willowsmuum]

I’m in my first ‘new’ relationship after being in a 16 year marriage. Given the long duration of that, we were very open in terms of bodily functions etc!

I’ve been with my new boyfriend for 4 months and he’s yet to break wind in front of me. I really want him to so I can do so too and not be in pain from holding it in 😂

Is there an ‘acceptable’ time to wait for this? It’s all new to me!

20+ years in, yes we do fart, everybody does and no, neither of us care. If it’s particularly impressive sometimes one of us will say “frogs?” No idea why, we just do, but it’s always funny! We are the only people we each do it in front of though.
If all goes to plan, we will be looking after each other when we are old and infirm, when a fart will be the least of our worries.

Ah ha yes. Batshit comment on a batshit thread! You do see some glorious batshittery, and pearl clutching on Mumsnet. Couples who have been together for 20-30+ years, who have allegedly never cracked off a fart in front of each other. (She probably waits for him to leave the house to have a shit.) 😆

Whilst I don't think it's particularly nice to keep farting in front of your partner, it's a new kind of batshit to be together long term, living together, married, with children, shagging, getting intimate, being naked together, seeing each others good and bad sides, having a shared history together, births of children, deaths of family members, and all sorts of personal events and trauma together, whilst never EVER farting in front of one another. (A perfectly normal bodily function.)

Mumsnet never ceases to amaze me. DH and I don't sit there farting constantly, but if we do need to fart, we just do so, we don't leave the fucking house and go in the garden, or the bathroom. 😂

Mumsnet really is a Parallel Universe! I couldn't live like this!

@EmeraldShamrock000

I very rarely fart, probably once a day, never around anyone...
It's rude, smelling someone's full.bowel, the potential for shitting your underwear is enough to put me off.

I agree with @TrimayrAcademy you need to see a doctor. There is something wrong with you if you 'risk' shitting in your underwear when you fart.

@UnctuousUnicorns

30 years together and we've never deliberately broken wind in front of each other, certainly not in our waking hours. It would be gross and disrespectful to.

I don't give a shit if anyone thinks I'm a prude, I'd rather that than be married to some slob who sits on the sofa shifting his arse cheek to let one out while I'm sitting across from or beside him. Fuck that. Or not, I should say.

LMFAO! Your pearls must be like crumbs right now from all that clutching! 😆
I can just see the cats bum mouth on you now! 😆

@MyDeftHedgehog · Today 16:45

Reading this post I conclude their must be a lot of people who must bust a gut trying not to fart in front their partner, even after years together 😳
I also dispute the people who claim they dont fart. Yes you do!! Just be honest 🤣🤣

Exactly. I call bullshit! 😆

@cattykinns · Today 16:49

OP just bloody fart if you need to! If he finds it offensive then he’s a plank!
completely normal to fart! But this is MN where no one ever farts and if they do it’s only tiny lady pumps that smell like sunshine and done in another room.

😆LOL! The way some people on here are acting all superior because they allegedly NEVER fart in front of their partner - or anyone - EVER is laughable. No-one's impressed, even if it is true. (Which I am struggling to believe!)

My brother would have loved this.

FOR THE 10th TIME. I DON'T SHIT MYSELF. 😅
SHARTING EXISTS.

Just drop your guts OP. Sometimes it just needs to be done.

“In pain”?!? Come off it. People hold it in at work and they aren’t all in agony are they? Been with my husband almost 20 years and we don’t fart in front of each other. There’s zero need.

No.

Look, nobody’s saying you have to fart in front of your partner, but it’s quite weird that you’re so invested in (and seemingly quite angry about) other people farting in the privacy of their own homes.

Also the degree to which you seem to be obsessing over the biology of it is borderline creepy. I’m genuinely finding the way you keep talking about it and describing it in detail a lot more unpleasant and rude than my own partner accidentally letting out a little fart in front of me.

For someone so vehemently against farting you do seem to have a weirdly strong interest in talking about every aspect of it.

@BauhausOfEliott Noted, I'll take my creepy self off the thread. 😅 Enjoy.

I have to conclude that none of the "fart deniers" , families who have NEVER let rip in front of each other, have ever given birth to male children
I will just leave it there 🤣🤣🤣

I made what is known as a tongue in cheek remark . It's quite funny that you appear to have taken it seriously!

I don't think expecting people not to fart in front of you is being prudish.
I think expecting people not to fart in front is expecting them to treat you and your comfort with a bit of respect.
Civilised behaviour isn't prudishness.
Do you regard your new partner as a prude because he, as yet, hasn't farted in front of you? Most people would actually be pleased to have some one who is civilised.

13yrs with mine and never intentionally done it. He has only done it in front of me a few times. He has done it deliberately so can't be that embarrassed but most of the time they have clearly slipped out and he tries to hide it by making some other noise like a cough or something. All very strange but I never let on I have heard him.

I take it you haven’t been through chemotherapy? That really can screw up the digestive system; to the point when one can’t help but fart unfortunately!

Nothing to do with being a prude but I never farted in anyone else's presence, ever. To me, it is about being respectful, that is how I grew up. Burping would be another thing. I am not from the UK originally, and it is considered beyond rude in my country of birth to do any of these two (perfectly normal) bodily functions in the presence of other people (close family members included). It simply doesn't happen.

We always fart in front of each other, farts are funny and I’m not getting stomach ache in my own home. I wouldn’t fart at the dinner table though.

You may have to be prepared for him not ever wanting to or wanting you to! My DH and I do not in front of each other and have been together 15yrs (rarely by accident). Each couple will feel differently about these things.

I can’t hold mine in, not that I would anyway. Thanks to extensive bowel surgery, it’s not an option.

I was reading this very post when DD5, who has climbed on to my lap for a cuddle, farted on my leg.

Early on when we hadn’t been together that long I accidentally let one out just as I was dozing off to sleep next to him. I mean… we’d spent the whole day together so there was a lot of bloating and my body just took its moment the second I was relaxed. There was no ignoring it had happened, it’d woken me fully up (like when a dog jumps out of their sleep when they fart) and although embarrassing being the first to break, it at least opened those gates for us. My stomach became a lot more comfortable after that moment.
You just need one of you to have your “ooops” moment.

And for those who think they’ve never farted in front of their spouses… LOL. Your body has 10000% betrayed you when you were sleeping many, many times you just don’t know. Your spouse does though…!

lived with my fella for 38 yrs and have never farted in front of him...the same can't be said about him..stinky fucker can't get his arse in the toilet...i don't want to be smelling his stench...so disrepectful

not mine..i sleep on the sofa to get away from his flatuence

I think this depends on how you were brought up. My brother and I used to fart competitively when we were young, although we called it blowing off. My parents never told us to go to the bathroom although I don't remember them farting themselves. So I look on farts as amusing not disgusting.

Seriously? You think that every time someone trumps they ‘have the potential of shitting in their underwear’?? 😂

In all my windy 61 years, I’ve never shat myself when trumping! And I am prolifically windy!

Trumping does not equal shitting oneself! Neither does it ‘usually’ equate to a ‘full bowel’…it is primarily a build up of gas in your digestive system!

Unclench a bit…literally! 😂

Omg the last sentence of your post cracked me up! "... pray to the Lord for forgiveness..!" 😂😂😂