Teacher told my child that child is not a Muslim

[Jkam24]

My daughter has recently started reception and asked me today if our family are Muslims, to which I said yes. She then started crying saying her teacher told her that she (my daughter) is not a Muslim. Is it unreasonable to be angry about this?

I am amazed that a teacher would say a child can’t have a religion..that is odd indeed. A Catholic child is baptised as a baby and is a Catholic from that point. I am not religious but would have to have argued that point with her.

I had the same thing! One of mine was in absolute floods of tears, inconsolable because he really didn’t want to ‘grow up into a human’.

OP I'm sorry, I feel for you. I have not read any comments except yours, from your posts I can guess you're getting flack and that would make me angry. I am not Muslim or particularly religious but I feel every parent has the right to make religious decisions for their child. And that it should be respected. It's a very worrying thing if teachers are trying to remove the carpet from children and make them doubt themselves. It is not just undermining you as the parent and mother. It is undermining the child. And their sense of themselves. A teacher has no right to do that to a child. I feel the teacher is way out of order, and if I were you I would truly take it further. I would at least, at the very least, speak to the head. Because it's not just about your child, that teacher could be harming a lot of other children, regardless of their religion. But I understand if you don't want to, and I just wanted to offer support and a hand hold.

I agree, plus it should be taken to the HT.

I agree with the teacher but I would never have said it to a child. It's for the parents to decide whether they want to indoctrinate their children with any religion (catholic, jewish, islam, bouddhist). My father was very religious but with my mother he chose not to baptise his kids saying that it was for us to make this decision when we had sufficient critical thinking skills to be able to do so. I'm an atheist but I have told my sons that there are many people who believe in different Gods and they are free to do so as well. It's about respecting their free will.

Teacher’s opinion is odd here I’m afraid, and I would be more concerned, not less, that she voiced this. In what context? When children start school, parents are asked for the child’s religion as this is noted on their school record. If a child is baptised as Catholic or C of E, for instance, then this is their religion. Surely teachers know and understand this. Up to you if you take it further but I’d certainly make a mental note and would not be surprised if these views surface again.

Here's a further point. She believed her daughter and guess what? She was right to. So the further point is - read the updates!

What an odd thing for the teacher to say that she doesnt think children can have a religion. Surely lots of children are raised in a set religion and isn't that stated on the school forms?

So this isn't just a thing about Islam, she views all religions the same or both viewing them at all.
So does she think that religious diet requests should be ignored?

Is there the teachers own cultural difference coming into play? Are they from the UK or been raised in a secular school system in a different country?

Oh come on - four year olds get emotional over all sorts of things - especially after a long day at school.

When my DD was in reception, she came out of school crying one day because "Mrs X keeps calling me <DD's long name>"

When I, very confused, said "Well - that is your name?!?"

She replied "No, my name is <DDs Short Name>, <DD's long name> is my naughty name"

Because of course we'd always used her short name at home and only ever used her long name when she was being told off for something! I had to go into school and ask them to make sure they used her short name from now on and it is still something she insists on now

If someone had told me at that age that I wasn't a Christian, I would have linked that with me not going to heaven. So would probably have started crying too!
I think it's a ridiculous thing to say. A child can clearly come from a Muslim, Christian whatever family and consider themselves to be an x. I assume she'd think it fine for a child to say they were a humanist.
I wouldn't let this go acyually, not without a wee word with the Head.

That's assuming that the whole story is true. To me, it has the ring of a hypothetical. And/or maybe it's a weird reverse and the OP is the teacher.

I'm so sorry - I'd be upset if my child's teacher told her that something fairly fundamental about herself was untrue.
My daughter's school is really multicultural and they celebrate it. (Mine is funny -she used to come home asking if we could be Muslim because they had a community iftar at school and she loved it so much... then weeks later, would I consider being Sikh as diwali was "like so cool"!)

But I think you're within your rights to wonder what else this teacher might say that you don't agree with.

Not sure you read the person's note - they don't agree with children claiming it's haram not to hold hands.

That clearly isn't right, is it, and needs to be challenged. Otherwise you're basically agreeing with segregation based on religion.

A 4 year old is interested in religion and has and has any concept of it?
I don't think so.

I think this is a rather bad move on the part of the teacher. She's entitled to think what she likes but expressing this opinion won't be in line with school policy, I'm sure.

Obliviously what you choose to do next is up to you, but if you are escalating, it's probably worth making sure you do so according to the letter of the school complaints policy (I'm sure you're aware of this already, I'm just 'putting it out there' for anyone following).
As an ex-School governor I'd have wanted to know that this was happening in my school.

Some people subscribe to a view where people should only have a religion 'when they're an adult and can understand it' and it's wrong to 'push religion on children', which displays a misunderstanding of how religion can be applied to my mind. I think there's this assumption that being of a religion means telling a child what to believe. But religion isn't like that for everyone, for other people it's more cultural, and you can't bring your child up without it being in the religion, and the religion may involve learning practices or even language skills, so you can't 'just wait'until a child is old enough to make a choice. Obviously, kids should have a choice to follow your religion or not, certainly when they're 12+.

I tend to believe OPs on here and not make stuff up in my head. The OP IS a teacher btw, which you would know if you had rtf.

Which is weird when you think about it.
Maybe it is a time to get rid of baptising infants, or at least calling it provisionally catholic or something.

I've read about adults (baptised as babies) wanting to be crossed from the Catholic's list and the church being petty and obstructional about it.

While many children will grow into the religious beliefs of their parents, everyone has the right to choose for themselves when they have capacity and officially introducing them as Catholic or Muslim from babies is taking away part of the choice.

Nah a teacher wouldn’t dare to say this. It’s too much of a hot potato …

according to the OP, she has spoken to the teacher and she did say it.

😂we need the laughing button back!

can I ask where you read that?

Your posts don't make sense.
You say DD "wasn't aware she understood the concept of religion / being Muslim" but you also say your daughter cried when told "she wasn't Muslim". Why would your daughter cry about this if she doesn't even realise she's Muslim and how are you so annoyed by this when you haven't even told your daughter that she's Muslim.
Bright verbal pupils in reception are usually very proud, eager and able to share their religions, talk about places of worship, celebrations ect

OP must be incredibly busy at the start of term.

It makes no sense for a teacher to attempt that kind of philosophical debate with a 4/5 year old. I think the head teacher needs to be made aware at least so they know this teacher is unwittingly upsetting children by bringing her personal beliefs into the classroom, because that's not her role. Being Moslem (using your spelling I think, OP, apologies if that's incorrect) is important to your family and she's part of it. I have to say, I was surprised that it wasn't a misunderstanding, having worked with kids and also having a kid who some think is advanced (he has pretty asynchronous development so he talks the talk but really struggled at that age with lessons about the world wars for example, other children were fine with them - he is autistic, he couldn't understand why soldiers would be considered heroes because they killed people). However, we also had a TA who didn't believe in autism, and she made his life a misery. We took him out in the end. These individuals really do have a negative impact.

People can't comment on something that happened at school until you seek clarification on whether it happened, so it's a difficult one to address until that's confirmed. I think that's probably where most of the infuriated responses have come from.

The concept of whether children can consent to being part of a religion is separate to this issue. Currently your child is being raised in a Moslem household, and expecting her to somehow have an opinion on the ethics of that or a concept of how to opt out of it is deeply unfair, and ridiculous honestly. The teacher needs to be given a talking to by the head, because she's causing unnecessary upset. I've worked with Muslim families and their disabled children and they absolutely have a say in their child's religious beliefs, it's a part of respecting the child and caring for them when the parents aren't there. It's what they know, it's what their parents believe. The notion that the teacher thinks they know better is a big problem for me, and I'm pretty bloody atheist. If it were the other way around - a teacher telling an atheist kid they were part of a religion - there would be a serious outcry.