To be annoyed that my employer won’t let me go part time?

[Topoftheroof]

I currently work full time 5 days a week. I made a flexible working request to go part time to 2 days a week because of personal circumstances (family circumstances) but it was declined. I’m annoyed though because there are other people (2 other people) working in the company only 2 days a week so it’s not unheard of. But they won’t consider it because I’m a head of department (not in a school and nothing to do with education or academics) and they also won’t give me another role in the company either which can be 2 days a week. I feel like I could cry with stress, I can’t afford to not work at all but can’t work 5 days a week at the moment either due to circumstances. I explained on my request that part time 2 days a week might not be permanent but they still declined the request. Both my boss and the managing director are always moaning that they “dread the day” I leave because “there’s no one in the business as good as” me so it’s baffling to me that they wouldn’t approve the 2 days a week knowing that I can’t work full time 5 days a week at the moment but then at the same time always say that they don’t want me to leave the company and would do anything to stop me leaving. I haven’t decided if I should appeal it yet or not, I don’t know what to do. I’m just really upset and have been crying about it because I can’t afford not to work at all and can’t do full time at the moment either. I’m also very annoyed with my employer too for rejecting the request. AIBU to be annoyed with my employer about this?

Kindly OP- why would they do this? They don’t have to, they are a business and not your friend.

What is the sickness policy like? Just thinking you might have to make use of it if it's reasonable to give yourself some breathing space. Worth contacting your GP because sometimes you need signing off for your own wellbeing whilst supporting a difficult home situation.
Could be worth joining a Union for advice and support. The company's lack of flexibility is unhelpful when they know the home situation. Despite what they say, are they trying to get rid of you?

How can do your full time role in 2 days including line manager responsibilities??? When would you do any work? Would also be a really poor experience for your team.

begs the question of what are actually doing for 5 days though?

Why on earth are they paying you for 5 days a week then?

No wonder so many employers don't want people working from home anymore, when you hear shit like this! Clearly, there are some people who swing the lead, and make a tiny amount of work that they could do in 2 days, last 5 days.

Unbelievable!

(Yes I know you don't work from home, but you doing 2 days of work in 5, is a good sign that many jobs need re-evaluating!)

And who do you suggest covers those responsibilities on the three days a week you want to take off? YABU and you haven’t thought this through.

I would be very careful in this situation. I fear that you might be talking yourself out of a job. You say that they have told you you are brilliant, but their actions are saying otherwise. They are not trying to keep you (at least that is how it seems to me reading your responses).
Is it possible they have in any way been sweet talking you in the past trying to encourage you or smooth over difficult situations?
You sound very determined right now that they must do what you want. Not many people respond to that well. Be careful that you don’t burn any bridges.
Good luck.

So there's the answer as to why your job can't be done as 2 days a week.
unless all the staff you line manage only work the same 2 days a week.

I am sorry you are struggling but two days a week is a pretty insane ask. And it’s really a bad idea to walk into a meeting and tell your boss that you are this irrelevant that no one will notice if you just stop over half your work. How do you fill your time now?

I am a line manager of a team and I have staff who are part time or flexi time (I do flexi time myself) but no one less than 60% and the biggest drops I’ve supported are going down one day a week or flexing 4 day work weeks etc. I would struggle to justify this level of change and no one in my team is head of anything.

if you want to work 14 hours a week you cannot work at this job. I don’t know your company but where I work you couldn’t magic up a new job for someone who was struggling. I’ve also never seen a 14 hour a week job advertised but that’s not really the point.

can you take a leave of absence while you do some job hunting?

As a Head of Department who is very grateful to have been able to go down to 4 days after I had my Son YAB incredibly U!!

Who will manage your team the other 3 days? If they have something urgent to ask you they’ll just need to wait until you’re back? And how do you plan to easily squeeze a 5 day job into 2 days for 2 years, but then expect the employer to happily put you back to 5 days after? Why would they?

It’s all madness.

Is there another role in the business available? Or do you mean, they could have created one specially for you? Why would they do that?

if there's a role available, then how can they stop you applying for it?

How can you financially go from 5 days pay to 2 days pay ?

Why are you replying to posts but purposefully ignoring any comment regarding how you can do your full time job in 2 days..? Not something you want to admit to your employer!

Something really doesn't add up here.

OP is currently in an FT role, and is attempting to make a case that they can do the same job just as well in 2 days, without someone else picking up extra work?

This makes no sense at all to a business. They will either realise that you, in fact, are massively overpaid or they will think you are completely unrealistic/ borderline delusional about how you would manage your time 2 days a week.

From 5 to 2 days is a huge drop - did you ask if 3 or 4 was an option ?

But they’re not heads! Heads usually need to be contacted more often than 2 days per week.

could You suggest 3 days at least and spread across the week so you have good oversight?

No heads of dept are allowed to work less than 4 days. If there's line management responsibilities you have to be available. If you want to leave and find a job for 2 days then that's worth considering but I suspect your company knows that it's unlikely.

2 days a week jobs in more senior roles are unusual.
In the organisation I work in it’s only really the lower wage jobs that have part time hours, 50% or under.
Higher up they might do a compressed week, full time but in 4 days.

I wish there were more jobs that offered part time.
I think it’s an issue that particularly affects women, who are often the ones who take the brunt of caring for elderly relatives/ children / disabled family members and there’s not much scope to be in a job that pays well part time.

Yes, I was just thinking that.

If you're stressed go off sick, then take some time to find s new job

Another Head of Department here and I am afraid I have bad news for you OP. Your card is now marked. You have shown you have no intent to carry on in the role, no care of continuity of management of your staff on a daily basis and also you are expecting your colleagues to add a portion of your work to their (probably) very full workloads. This is even before the deceit of the 2 days work for 5 days pay.

It is unlikely you will be given anything you ask for now as I suspect the Directors want you out so they will hold on tight to their decision to force you to leave.

I can imagine their conversation after your FWR meeting!!

You'll need to get signed off work with mental or physical health problems & potentially offer to come back to help out if necessary

If they're so worried you'll leave, then quit.

Go and work in a supermarket or call centre.

If they really want/need you, then they should support you. Maybe they think you're not serious.

I had a job where they said I was irreplaceable so I asked for a pay rise which was refused. When I quit, the first words out of my manager's mouth were, "you cant do that!" To which I replied, "I just did.".

Would you be able to work two hours a day from home on the other days?

When I was finishing my degree, I did some project management work (so leading something, but not the head of department role) and I was working two full days and 2 hours a day on the other days.
That way I was able to deal with incoming client requirements, coordinate with the part timers in my team who worked on different days, nothing waited for me longer than a few hours, and my team got big chunks of uninterrupted focus time.

It worked well for everyone, but those hours on the other days and some additional flexibility on my side we're essential (and paid).

So you are currently being paid 5 days when your work. Can be done in 2. So what do you do first the other 3 days.
As a Manager I would not consider anyone just doing 2 days. 3 days but not 2. And they’d only if hours can be backfilled.
it causes all sorts of issues.
You need to remember the needs of the business must always come first.
You seem to want it all your own way.
You probably need to reconsider.

OP I used to approve or reject flexible working as part of my HR role. I was very flexible and lenient, I would do anything I could to help people achieve a better work, life balance.
However there's no way I could approve you going from 5 to 2 days, you have people reporting to you, they can't contact you for days. You are in a senior role which comes with responsibility. You can't ask them to distribute your other 3 days of work and responsibilities to 'someone else'.
Even when senior staff ask for 4 days it's a big upheaval and has to be carefully considered, asking for 2 days just isn't going to happen.
They really are not being unreasonable and you need to be careful about announcing your job can be easily done in 2 days.