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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have cried because of the delivery driver?

34 replies

Canwegobacktobegin · 09/09/2025 21:39

I ordered a takeaway (I’ve not had one in months and there was an offer). The driver said to me “are you tired?” … “… no?” … “well you look really tired”

We all know that means you look like crap. It just fucks me off that people think it’s ok to ever comment on someone’s appearance.

OP posts:
AnnaBalfour · 09/09/2025 21:41

Please ignore ignorant twats like that.

BitOutOfPractice · 09/09/2025 22:14

What a cheeky twat! I would’ve said something like “and you look like Brad Pitt and your tip money is going back in my purse”.

Ignore him op. Why do people seem to think they’re entitled to comment on women’s appearance?

EmeraldShamrock000 · 09/09/2025 22:18

Why would he ask that? Weird question to ask a stranger.
How would he know what you usually look like? Understandable if you opened the door mid yawn.
When people ask me if I'm tired, I usually am tired or cold, I don't assume that they think I look crap.

Zov · 09/09/2025 22:25

Not gonna lie @Canwegobacktobegin he probably fancied you and this was his arse-about-face way of chatting you up. One bloke who worked at the place I worked at (when I was 17, MANY years ago,) kept staring at me like a moron, and waving at me. he stared at me once (when I was closeby) and said 'you've got a spot on your nose!' I was like Confused Then later he said 'you have a bit of a big bum!'

Turned out he fancied me and wanted to go out with me, and had had a crush on me for several months. Fucking weird way to show it! I didn't fancy him, and he knew it when I started dating someone else, and told his mate to get him to stop staring at me and badgering me. He left me alone then, thankfully!

EasySqueezy · 09/09/2025 22:29

He was rude but not worth crying over.

Mutability · 09/09/2025 22:34

Crying? Really?

I’d have just been annoyed and torn him off a strip.

agentic · 09/09/2025 22:36

Sounds like he was trying to be nice to me. Concerned.

382827GGH · 09/09/2025 22:37

Canwegobacktobegin · 09/09/2025 21:39

I ordered a takeaway (I’ve not had one in months and there was an offer). The driver said to me “are you tired?” … “… no?” … “well you look really tired”

We all know that means you look like crap. It just fucks me off that people think it’s ok to ever comment on someone’s appearance.

I'm going to have a wild guess, was it a man?

Screamingabdabz · 09/09/2025 22:41

Why would you even care what some low life cretinous deliveroo driver thought of you? I agree it was an immature chat up line - he probably chickened out of some ‘so go to bed with me’ punchline he’d rehearsed in his head. Jeez I’d have laughed and shut the door in his face and thought no more of it.

smallpinecone · 09/09/2025 23:00

Crying? Really? Grow up.

backandforthup · 09/09/2025 23:02

How weird. Why do men think they have the right to comment. Would never say it to a man.

MonsterBoo · 09/09/2025 23:03

Crying? God I've been asked if I'm ill before when I wasn't. Are you usually so sensitive?

mmsnet · 09/09/2025 23:13

ffs grow up

marnieMiaou · 09/09/2025 23:46

They wsre trying to shiw concern

Dontlletmedownbruce · 09/09/2025 23:51

I'm thinking it was concern, your overreaction IS concerning. Of course he shouldn't have said it but maybe it was not trying to put you down and just trying to show (misguided) kindness to a stranger.

DoubleBoubles · 10/09/2025 00:05

This man was not showing concern, he was probably pissed off about something and decided to take it out on the op by being rude and insulting.
There is no way he would have said this to a man in the same circumstances.
I hope you never gave him a tip.

SouthernNights59 · 10/09/2025 00:09

MonsterBoo · 09/09/2025 23:03

Crying? God I've been asked if I'm ill before when I wasn't. Are you usually so sensitive?

As have I, and I've also been asked if I'm pregnant before when I wasn't. I didn't give it a second thought, and crying was the last thing on my mind.

I'm amazed at how many on MN can't seem to cope with what are fairly normal social interactions.

Ohthatsabitshit · 10/09/2025 00:10

Did you look tired? I mean maybe he was just concerned.

whitewineandsun · 10/09/2025 00:11

Crying seems an overreaction. Annoyed? Yes. And no tip.

SouthernNights59 · 10/09/2025 00:11

backandforthup · 09/09/2025 23:02

How weird. Why do men think they have the right to comment. Would never say it to a man.

And you know this how? Plenty of women say the same thing to other women.

Berlinlover · 10/09/2025 00:23

Crying because someone told you that you looked tired? Insane.

AstonUniversityPotholeDepartment · 10/09/2025 00:29

OP, as gently as possible, if you are crying because someone thinks you look tired, maybe you are in fact utterly exhausted?

There are two options here.

  1. he was deliberately trying to get a reaction out of you. If so, he was a prat and he doesn't deserve your tears.
  2. he was expressing genuine concern about how tired you look. If so, he was being nice and you shouldn't be crying.

I wasn't there, so I don't know which it was.

Canwegobacktobegin · 10/09/2025 16:06

I cried because it’s been a horrible time lately and I’ve been feeling really self conscious this month and it was just the final straw.

I’m sure most of the poster saying “grow up” and “get a grip” have cried over something trivial because it was your final straw and not because of that exact thing.

OP posts:
QuickMember · 10/09/2025 16:14

I bet I look tired a lot. A post man once said to me “oh I don’t need your age verification” and snorted with laughter. I have seen him around and think he’s very socially clumsy. I just ignore.

Mt563 · 10/09/2025 16:26

Canwegobacktobegin · 10/09/2025 16:06

I cried because it’s been a horrible time lately and I’ve been feeling really self conscious this month and it was just the final straw.

I’m sure most of the poster saying “grow up” and “get a grip” have cried over something trivial because it was your final straw and not because of that exact thing.

sounds like you probably are exhausted, even if only emotionally, and it's showing. nothing wrong with that. we all go through things. I wouldn't assume he meant anything by it except clumsy social skills. Try to find some time for yourself to recover and hopefully you can cope with simple if clumsy interactions again.