What would your husband say if he came home from work and you’d had a drink?

[khlolea]

I have had a glass of wine tonight after work, thought why not?
Dh is home and is furious, speaking to me like a disgrace and slamming cupboards.
I now have an uncomfortable silence which isn’t quite a silence because he’s saying he’s not giving me the silent treatment.

I just asked DP. His reply, ‘nothing’

I drink every night, unless driving or dh away. Dh doesn’t drink on a Monday. He may comment if I’ve had a bubbles/g&t, more than half a bottle of an evening and then a nightcap, but not always, as I call him a miserable sod.

Medication issues has now meant I’ve had to ditch the nightcap & reduce to a glass of wine rather than the half a bottle. G&t/bubbles now strictly for the weekend. 😢

I would have felt this way about my ex, who is an alcoholic. His personality would change. I would assume you change, and he doesn't like it.

Nothing at all, unless he wanted one too (which he wouldn’t if it was wine but might if I had a beer).

It really doesn’t matter how your DP feels about alcohol unless you’ve made some kind of commitment to him that you won’t drink. You’re an adult. You can have a drink after work if you like.

He’d be more than surprised…I rarely drink.

@khlolea my dh would pour himself one or ask me to pour him one, but he wouldn't judge. It would be unusual for me to have a drink early in the evening on a weekday so he wouldn't probably ask of everything was ok.
From what you've said about his mum it sounds like he has very confused views on drinking and what's considered normal or ok and what isn't. But he needs to talk to you not give the not giving silent treatment

I would tell him pack a bag or I would pack one.

WTF?
You can't seriously think this controlling highly abusive behaviour is acceptable?

I hope you don't have children with him.

He’d ask me to pour him one, we both have stressful jobs. But I’m an adult who doesn't need anyone's permission to have a drink, if I want one I have one.

My husband would top up my glass and pour himself one

He’d be amused. Might pour himself one depending on whether he has more work to do.

@khlolea my DH, like yours, doesn't drink in the week. But he will happily pour me a glass of wine every evening, sometimes two (our wine glasses are very small). This is what I would consider normal behaviour.

Nothing at all - if i was tipsy he's probably tease affectionately. Very odd to be so angry

My DH would be annoyed too, but would just show it by looking disapproving and being quiet/off with me.

I couldn’t live like that @khlolea he sounds absolutely hideous. I bet it’s not his only weird thing either.

It wouldn’t even register in our house, drinking wine is an entirely normal thing. I drink far less these days and often go a month or more without any but then I might have a glass or two every night for a week. When STBEX and I were together we’d sometimes drink together, sometimes separately. He drank mostly red and I prefer white so we rarely shared a bottle but we both drank similar amounts but not necessarily at the same time.

No problem drinking in our house although my father is an alcoholic but not the stereotypical sort, so I know the difference between normal drinking and problematic.

He'd be delighted at an excuse to join mostly I think. your husband sounds horrible

This!

He’s clearly inherited his mother’s hang-ups about alcohol. An adult having an occasional drink at home after work when they fancy one is perfectly normal. My husband did this tonight. I didn’t, but I might tomorrow. He needs to discuss things and talk about what he’s so angry and fearful rather than sulking like a child and slamming cupboards. Now that is the unhealthy behaviour.

So his mother has an issue with alcohol. He will have been raised around this.

Any alcoholics in his family @khlolea

But he knows you OP and knows this is (presumably) unusual behaviour for you and therefore you aren't verging on alcoholism?

In this scenario (out of character) I would probably just ask my OH if everything was OK at work

What would your husband say if he came home from work and you’d had a drink?

Doubt he's even make a comment about it

Presumably this isn’t the first time it’s come up?

My DH wouldn't give a shit

If this is the case, does he think something is up then.. looking at it as a bad day rather than you just fancying it? But then I'd argue that surely he should ask you if he's got any concern over the silent non silent treatment!

I enjoy a cheeky glass of wine after work! Or a glass to compliment a meal. Doesn't mean we're all raging alcoholics.
Does he feel left out?! 😅

Same

My DH is dead but I can answer. It would never occur to him that it was odd. He'd have joined me. What's wrong with a glass of wine or a beer or a G and T on a work night? One might well need to wind down.