What would your husband say if he came home from work and you’d had a drink?

[khlolea]

I have had a glass of wine tonight after work, thought why not?
Dh is home and is furious, speaking to me like a disgrace and slamming cupboards.
I now have an uncomfortable silence which isn’t quite a silence because he’s saying he’s not giving me the silent treatment.

That will be it then. Was his dad or her dad an alcoholic?

If it was before 6pm he’d ask me if I’d had a hard day.
After 6pm, he’d pour himself a glass and we’d bitch about work together.

He would say "ooooo someone having a drinkypoos" laughing, I would laugh...life would continue. He would probably think it odd because ive never been a drinking at home type.

He’d say ‘ah lovely, where’s my glass’?

Mine would asked "Where's mine?"

How miserable of him. I’d want a drink just thinking about him not allowing it.. and I hardly drink.

Unless you have mental health/physical health needs/ an addiction or your caring for a newborn, I think he’s being an arsehole.

He wouldn’t notice or care

Nothing because I'm a whole ass adult and can do what I want without asking anyones permission first

Anything from ‘pour me one’, ‘let’s chill a second bottle’ to ‘not drinking this week, tonight’. Sounds like he takes his work very seriously! What does he do?

Absolutely nothing, as I’m an adult and make my own choices/decisions.

If be concerned as to why his initial reaction is anger, then subsequently silent treatment, which is a form of emotional abuse, why can’t he use his words?

What’s made you have a drink tonight OP, is it that you just fancied one and thought “meh” or has something happened?.

My DP would say “where’s mine?”

Unless there’s a massive backstory where you are an alcoholic, then he’s being ridiculous!

Does he behave like an arsehole about other things?

Well these days, probably be pleasantly suprised and hopeful the night might have a happy ending, because I dont drink much these days. But even the old me, he only said something when it was a bit too much, and then it was out of concern. Never angry or banging doors. But context is everything, if you're a recovering alcoholic or an absolute nightmare when you drink, his reaction might be more understandable.

My husband doesn't drink at all and he would never behave like that. Unless you were flat out drunk, what is the issue - do you have to ask his permission to drink without him?

Yeah exactly this.

Is your drinking a problem OP? Are you supposed to be cutting back? Was it "a drink" or were you drunk by the time he got home?

I do t have a husband (I have a wife) but she would probably ask what had happened and was it work related. Unless there is some backstory here then it’s a total overreaction on his part and he needs to grow up.

My partner would be very surprised, as I have never done this, but he wouldn't judge me like that- I think attitudes that different is problematic- you need to talk to him about it, and possibly talk it through together with a counsellor.

Not like that.

But on a serious note, dh came home late from a night out with a work colleague. I'd been in on my own and I'd had a drink "or two".

He was more "worried" than angry, maybe embarrassed. By the time this happened I definitely qualified as having a drink problem. I have now been sober for about 15 years, so I say this kindly and with no judgement.

I'd probably look at your drinking if this is a regular occurrence. Especially if its causing problems in your relationship. I might be wrong, but this could be a warning sign.

And you’re just finding this out now? How long have you been together op?

Was there a delay with this post coming thru as I’m thinking it must have been written in the 1950s??
Seriously what is up with your husband treating you like a child?!
unless there is some previous history of alcohol abuse for you or him and you’ve agree not to drink wth is doing treating you like this?!

Have never had a husband. My partner would say nothing.

It’s my business what I do in my own home. Not theirs. Unless it’s something that affects them. Why would it bother them?

Anything other than that is controlling. I don’t eat meat, but I wouldn’t judge, lecture, slam cupboards or give the silent treatment to someone who does.

The silent treatment is a form of abusive behaviour. Mature adults talk things through.

Who are the 4% saying yabu, can they show them waves and explain why they voted that?!
without any context or history of why OP shouldn’t have a drink after work, how can you vote yabu?

Where did you get that from in OP’s post?
You appear to be deflecting his bad behaviour on to the OP, that it must be her fault that he’s acting like a brat

My dh would be surprised because we hardly drink at all.he would assume something awful had happened.

He wouldn't react like ops dh. Unless I was alone with kids, might have to drive, bathe dc - stuff like that. He wouldn't mess about banging doors though. He would point out how irresponsible it was. Which is why it just wouldn't happen.

Dunno, op. Did you open a bottle of ££££ wine and swill it down?:)

If I'd had a glass of wine or several glasses of Prosecco and my husband came home from work I'd be really drunk because I don't have a husband!