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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would your husband say if he came home from work and you’d had a drink?

463 replies

khlolea · 08/09/2025 18:55

I have had a glass of wine tonight after work, thought why not?
Dh is home and is furious, speaking to me like a disgrace and slamming cupboards.
I now have an uncomfortable silence which isn’t quite a silence because he’s saying he’s not giving me the silent treatment.

OP posts:
NoKidsSendDogs · 08/09/2025 23:55

Nicksschiffon · 08/09/2025 18:56

'Pour me one then' or something to that effect

Same. Neither of us try to control the other's drinking bc we are adults. If he was abusive and had a drinking problem or vice versa, sure, but otherwise nope. I'm assuming this isn't your issue either op.

lazyarse123 · 08/09/2025 23:59

Sounds like his mum has given him a complex about drinking. I'd just tell him to mind his business if he said anything, I'm a grown woman and don't need anyone's permission to do anything.
We are both retired and one morning I made a sandwich about 10.30 and my dh made a face and said "it's a bit early for dinner" I just told him that I was hungry , end of discussion.

Ratafia · 09/09/2025 00:07

My DH wouldn't turn a hair. It's not as if one glass of wine is going to do any more than relax you a bit, after all, unless it was a huge glass.

You need to ask him what the hell his problem is, and exactly why.

M103 · 09/09/2025 01:08

Either say nothing or say he'll have one himself.

BauhausOfEliott · 09/09/2025 02:11

Unless you were drunk as a skunk and behaving like a twat, and/or you are an alcoholic falling off the wagon, your husband is a complete prick.

Notmyrealname22 · 09/09/2025 02:30

Mine would make a joke about me having a party for one. Then he would offer to pour me a top up or join me. He would not go off like a controlling nutter.

Collaborate · 09/09/2025 02:33

If he reasonably thinks you’re an alcoholic he is being perfectly reasonable. In that instance you are unlikely to be able to see it yourself as that is the nature of alcoholism.

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 09/09/2025 03:28

Mine would be pleased. He would probably pour himself one or at the very least give me a hug and ask if I wanted a top up.

Crushed23 · 09/09/2025 04:30

One of life’s greatest joys is being a disgrace from time to time. I’m currently having a burger, fries and beer on a Monday night. 😎 (I’m on holiday, sort of.)

Your DH sounds very controlling.

WalkDontWalk · 09/09/2025 06:00

‘Would you like a top up while I’m in the kitchen?’

Natsku · 09/09/2025 06:15

Mine doesn't really drink himself (once in a blue moon he'll have a beer with a friend) but he'd not say anything to me if I had a drink on a work night. If I was drinking frequently I expect he'd raise a concern, to make sure I'm alright and not developing a problem.

jeaux90 · 09/09/2025 06:35

Does your husband treat you like a child usually?

Mine would just join in.

moderate · 09/09/2025 08:04

Ask your DH:

  • if he thinks you need help, why he's acting so hostile
  • if he doesn't, why he hasn't shut the fuck up
Oldglasses · 09/09/2025 08:16

He’d be surprised cos I don’t drink atm!
In the past he’d ask me to pour him a glass! I v rarely drank on my own/after work - if I was using a bit of red wine for cooking I’d have a small glass.

Hungrysalmon87 · 09/09/2025 14:07

I'm a husband, and if my wife is drinking in the week, I'm assuming that she's in a good / festive mood and I'm jumping all over that gravy train

Catpiece · 09/09/2025 14:08

My dh doesn’t drink now but he wouldn’t bat an eyelid

BellaVita · 09/09/2025 14:12

He would say "at it again"...but he would be joking. I am such a lightweight, I don't drink much hence the comment.

BlueandWhitePorcelain · 09/09/2025 14:17

The only time I would possibly drink in the daytime, would be if I went out for lunch with a friend and she was driving.

However, when we met at in the 80s at work, drinking Friday lunchtime and all night was the norm, so I doubt he’d say anything! Words like pot, kettle and black would be springing to my mind!!

MyMilchick · 09/09/2025 14:19

Nicksschiffon · 08/09/2025 18:56

'Pour me one then' or something to that effect

Same 😂

FluffyJawsOfDoom · 09/09/2025 14:27

My husband would be disapproving but that's because he's a recovering alcoholic (hasn't drank in 12 years) and can't seem to understand that alcohol doesn't control everybody the way it did him. It wouldn't stop me though 😁

LBFseBrom · 09/09/2025 14:32

He'd say nothing at all, certainly wouldn't carry on like yours did. He might have something to say if I had had a few drinks, was drunk, or if I made a habit of it. So would I if he did that but neither of us did.

theressomanytinafeysicouldbe · 09/09/2025 14:33

"Only 1 glass, you're starting late" and he would join me but with a lager

Starlight7080 · 09/09/2025 14:34

Mine would probably think i had a long day and offer to run a bath or cook dinner.
He views on alcohol do seem quite extreme

Tinytimmy123 · 09/09/2025 14:37

Context ....do you have children, would the liklihood of you needing to drive later in the evening be a potential issue, do you become a different personality with drink eg loud mouthy and argumentative. Have you had issues with alcohol before , drinking alone can be a slippery slope. An ex of mine was unbearable when he had a drink, one drink always lead to 3 or 4 more and the more he drank the louder and more obnoxious he became, in or out of company. Maybe his reaction is rooted in previous bad experiences or his dislike of you with alcohol.

Candleinalantern · 09/09/2025 14:38

Mental, me and DH occasionally have a bottle of wine between us with dinner during the week if we fancy it. I’m be more furious over the reaction and that someone would think they can have an opinion if I can or can’t have a drink if I so wished