To think most rich people don’t understand how the rest of us live?

[MyAmusedOpalCrab]

I keep seeing advice from wealthy people that is completely out of touch with reality - things like “just buy a house instead of renting” or “take a year off to travel and find yourself.” Even when they mean well, there’s a lack of awareness about how difficult things are for the average person. I’m not saying all rich people are like this but it does seem that extreme wealth can create a bubble where they forget what it’s like to struggle.

AIBU to think that most rich people genuinely don’t understand how the rest of us live? Or do you think this is unfair?

Absolutely - money gives you options that you don't have if you are poor.

Having lived at all three levels (though never super 'rich'), I believe it to be true and I know many others who have experienced it that way.

That would still leave nearly £4k a month left if my maths is correct (not my strong subject admittedly).

Agree. The thread where two brothers share a bedroom and the number of posters saying that’s not okay and they need to move to a bigger house, like that’s an option the op hasn’t ever considered 🙄

Except no one with millions is saying “Just buy a flat” are they? Can you share an example? Can you share ten? Because for you to “keep seeing” it it needs to be a lot more than one.
What you are actually sharing is your perception of how “rich” people view “poor”’people, you aren’t describing the reality.

I think it's a bit unreasonable. However it's a matter of context. If you live in the UK, you are categorically, and by all historical standards, amongst a tiny fraction of the richest people to have ever lived on this planet. Some people may be richer, and may advise living in a way that you choose not to, but that doesn't mean they don't understand what's it's like to have a bit less.

I think the fact that you would consider yourself to be unfortunate, or poor, shows a hypocritical, but entirely understandable mentality. The fact that we all take what riches and wealth we all have for granted shows we have no clue what 'poor' actually means.

The disposable change you have in your pocket at the end of the day isn't a sign of how rich you are. We all benefit hugely from the wealth of our country and those before us, and just because we enjoy it as a collective doesn't take that wealth away or make it any less valuable. If you have unlimited free lifesaving healthcare not just for you, but for your whole family, if you have a house with several rooms and separate bedrooms for each child, if you have enough food to not only fend off starvation but in so much excess to make you fat and overweight not to mention having money leftover for luxuries like electronic products, free time to sit on Internet forums chatting and Xmas gifts for your kids then make no mistake, you are definatively rich by world standards, so to even ask the question from a standpoint of so much personal wealth and privilege kind of answers itself.

We suffer largely here in the UK from envy, greed and jealously of people who have more money than we do ourselves, always wanting more than than the next person instead of concentrating and being grateful for the wealth we have and enjoy on a day to day basis. It's only because we have enjoyed this for so long and lived in such peaceful times with such overflowing excesses around us that we have become to view this as 'the norm', when in reality the norm would be something completely alien to our way of life we are used to.

I just do not believe you have

Being in the middle and getting by is that finances have been stretched as being in the middle allows you choices and its is nothing in comparison to waiting for your benefits as they are needed to get by

I am in the lower middle now and its a far far more comfortable place to be

This is true. However, I do carp on about water being a commodity lol. Water bottles not finished at school are presented with dinner 🙈.

In fairness people pile onto those threads too. Read the room, shouldn't complain on your salary etc etc. Personally I think anyone who is genuinely stressed about money should be able to vent.

You don't have to believe me but the only reason you are determined not to is that it doesn't suit what you want to believe. How inconvenient that myself and other people might have different experiences to you.

Take home after tax and pension etc is £5,100, private school = £2k a month. Then the you have the rest of the costs. She gets some maintenance from her ex but it isn’t a lot for her and 3 teens. She’s never had her nails done, gets her hair cut twice a year. It’s not living on the breadline but it’s not eating out every week and having a flash car like some people on here seem to envision.

It’s less like comparing beans on toast and a tiara and more like beans on toast vs sausage and mash.

Yanbu, I always remember when I was in my early 20s and a man the same age I had just met told ne that he didn't really respect people that hadn't travelled. 🙄

its sound like the often posted moan form the mc that they do get any benefits and its so unfair all those poor people

boohoo

OP it IS sometimes hard when you're used to a better standard of living. I've had both and I have to remind myself sometimes!

It's far broader than "rich versus poor". I think people generally these days have very little empathy for others, and an ability to "walk in someone else's shoes" in any aspect of life. Despite the internet and easy travel, people do seem to be becoming more insular and less able to see the broader picture nor understand other peoples' points of view, etc. It's very worrying. We've got young and old against each other, rich and poor, drivers and non drivers, North versus South, home grown versus immigrants. We're becoming less tolerant rather than more tolerant.

I was born to teenage parents, we struggled to provide food and we spent many a Sunday in the dark as we had no more money for the meter. Clothes to short and shoes falling a part

I was determined to never make some of the choices my parents made. University was not even a choice for me , nor was driving as examples. I have saved hard to ensure my children have those choices. On paper people think we doing ok, but when we discussed with my sister and showed her the outgoings - it wasn’t much difference. The main one being we have managed to buy a house - mortgage payments higher as we are the wrong side of 40. She will still have to pay her council rent when hopefully at 67/70 our mortgage will be paid! We private rented in a 2 bedroom flat for many years.

The only thing I wish was that I had enough to help our children get on the property ladder - that looks very unlikely!

We seem to be focusing on the wrong side of who is rich. It’s not the always the families who earn the £100k mark it’s the much more wealthy and that gap is HUGE.

It feels like someone is playing the low income against the middle income as good distraction why they get more wealthier.

Yes, but she has the option to choose that lifestyle doesn't she? She has opted for private school.

I don’t literally mean every millionaire is walking around telling people to buy flats. I’m talking about the broader pattern of out of touch advice from people with wealth or platforms, where the realities of cost of living are ignored or oversimplified.

You’ll find versions of it all over:

-Public figures or influencers saying things like “if you can afford rent, you can afford a mortgage.”

-Finance gurus who claim “it’s just about mindset” or that “poverty is a choice.”

-Columnists who call young people entitled for not saving enough, while ignoring that they bought their first home with help from family or decades-old prices.

It’s not always word for word “buy a flat” but the sentiment, that if you’re struggling, it must be your fault, is real and common. And when those views come from people with visibility and money, they land harder and shape policy, media and how we talk about poverty. So yes, I’m describing a perception but one built on repeated patterns, not just one comment I didn’t like.

This is a ridiculous thing to say.
The hardest place to be is the bottom of the income scale.

I think that's great!

There are people struggling who on the surface don’t need to be - two identical families on same income and one is fine and the other is struggling. Because sometimes people have very different expectations of life - so one family chooses a 2 bed semi in a nice part of town and the other choses a 4 bed detached on a posh road … and they also always choose to go on holiday every year and they chose to eat out and have a takeaway every week … and then they feel that they are struggling and stressing over money and can’t understand the other family are not and that can be annoying. On one hand they are struggling and on the other they made their choices and spent it

there are people who fritter away tens of thousands on the latte lifestyle and that could be house deposit money for someone else

which is why it’s always hard - at most wealth/ income levels in the same jobs and towns some will struggle and some will thrive and when you see a post here it’s hard to say how much people are making their problems worse by their choices and how much they are just making the most optimal choices and still going to be in trouble

and then there are the utterly clueless

and there are those I feel sorry for , who seem to me to miss out on so much personal development because they just throw money at any problem - find child care tricky or boring ? - spend £250 a week on entertainment

The “it’s just about mindset” crowd drive me nuts too.

Even so, lifestyle creep is a choice. No one forces you to move to a bigger home, or to buy a new car.