Feet on the sofa - yes or no?

[Ddakji]

I’m not talking about shoes here - just feet.

Inspired by another thread, do you think it’s fine to have feet on the sofa or not?

Personally, I always curl up with my feet under me so I was slightly astonished that a number of posters on that thread agreed that feet shouldn’t be on the sofa, so I thought I’d ask here.

Please vote below and add a comment if you want! I can’t edit the poll for some reason so as follows:

YABU = no feet on the sofa
YANBU = feet on the sofa are fine

Again - this is about feet only, not shoes.

absolutely this

You SIT on sofas in someone else's house, so no reason whatsoever for your feet to go on it.

If you lay down and curl on YOUR sofa in the privacy of your own home, it's fine. But you wouldn't lay down on someone's bed, so you don't lay down on their sofa or tuck your feet in. No one can be so rude, can they?

I can't imagine not letting my dog and cat on the sofa. Never understood this either. It's their home too.

How lovely, lucky duck 😄

We are a shoes off household so feet on sofa is totally fine and my side of the family is much the same. DH’s side are a shoes on household (madness!) and so the usually sit up on the sofa, but haven’t stopped me from sprawling.
I wouldn’t put my feet up if we were having a coffee / serious discussion, or in a formal drawing room/hotel etc.

I have no problems with dogs or cats, it's their home! But I would find it really weird if someone does anything else than sit on the sofa when they are visiting someone, unless they pass out or something.

Mine, yes, absolutely. Someone else's, no, I would follow their lead.

Dd and I often tuck our toes under dh's legs on the sofa in winter. If dh isn't there, we tuck our toes under each other's legs.

Every day I kearn about new mn weirdness

I tend to be only visiting close family or friends so yes, absolute I curl up if we bed in for a long session with tea or wine. And I’d expect them to do the same here.

If I was visiting more of an acquaintance it wouldn’t get to that point so I’d just sit.

I do at home, but wouldn’t dream of doing it on someone else’s sofa, or in a public place.

It's very Downton isn't it? 🤣

Growing up, when the priest visited we were only allowed to show him into the front room of the house.

It wasn't much smarter than the back room to be fair, but my mum insisted it was!

I put my feet up on mine, then it depends on the host when I'm out.

I don't mind in my house. If people want to have their feet up or sprawl on my sofa, then they're free to do that. I like people being comfortable in my home.

MIL has the sofa covered in those lace cover things. They're on the seats, draped over the back of the sofa cushions and draped over the arms. You have to sit perfectly still so they don't get crumpled/dislodged and the second you leave the seat, she almost knocks you over to straighten them back up again. I never feel comfortable sitting there as I'm always paranoid about messing the covers up.

How marvellous. And I’m not being snarky!

Do you have a breakfast room too? I’d love to be able to move around the house with the light and have that many rooms.

There's nothing rude about feeling comfortable in someone else's home and putting your feet up (without shoes).

I'd personally be really embarrassed if someone visited me and felt like they had to sit bolt upright with their feet on the floor.

Yes, this. Can't imagine not doing it at home but would be cautious about doing it in somebody else's house. I have one or two reslly close friends where I know it's fine though.

How old are you? Because I do remember my grandparents very much having this a room you lived in and a room which just was kept very smart!

or is it just posh big house rather than old!

100%. I loved that my friend (RIP, she passed a few months back) used to put her feet up on my sofa. Because I love visitors to feel at home. And if you can’t put your feet up (no shoes) on your own sofa, where can you?

Where else are feet and legs supposed to go if there's no foot stool/rest?

The stupid leg/foot waggle off the end? (which looks ridiculous and gets tiring after a short length of time with the leg unsupported into thin air)

Or perching primly on the edge? (in which case you may as well sit on a bar stool for comfort)

Most sofas have daft proportions that make curling up/ cross-legged the only comfortable way to sit on them.

I’m 70, with a hip replacement, and I can - and do - still do it!

And yes, feet on sofas is fine in my house and those of most of my friends and family.

HOW do you manage to sit in a chair? 😂Literally same thing on a sofa.

Never considered it could ever be an issue until I read MN.

No one I know kicks off their shoes and slumb on the sofa when they are visiting someone? 😂 No wonder people don't like to host "friends" if they behave in that strange way.

It's just as rude as going to lay down on a bed upstairs.

You can be comfortable AND have manners? Some posters are priding themselves on not being comfortable until they have removed their bras and put a pair of pjs on, are you telling me they do that when they visit someone? 😂

You have a very strange definition of what's rude, that's for sure 😬

I don’t sit on chairs, as in dining room chairs, in the same way as I sit on a sofa - they’re completely different.

It sounds like you have quite a formal relationship with friends and family? If I’m visiting my sister or my best friend and we’re onto second cups to tea and have got the biscuits out (or knocking back the wine) we’re surely sufficiently relaxed to curl up rather than sit formally.

Also, as I said upthread - I’m pretty short and some sofas are so huge I’d be sitting there like a small child with my feet not touching the floor - or perched on the edge.

That’s not how I’d like my visitors to feel.

I don’t sit on chairs, as in dining room chairs, in the same way as I sit on a sofa - they’re completely different.

Exactly. The proportions are all different.

If I couldn't put my feet up on the sofa, I'd either be weirdly perched on the edge with no support for my back and my scoliosis, or sitting right back with my legs and ankles dangling in mid air

A dining room chair means you can sit upright with your back supported and your feet on the floor.

Years ago when I was married (very toxic relationship) my ex MIL complained to ex-H that I "lay on her sofa" and that she didn't like me doing it. I was incredibly hurt because I was particularly unwell at the time and permanently exhausted. I didn't actually ever fully lay down but i did lay across it a bit. It made me feel so unwelcome in her home. I never did it again but the lack of compassion and empathy from her and ex-H was really upsetting.