Friend backing off it can’t be because I am looking and feeling better can it?

[Elphabaa]

I have what was a good friend for years and years. We had dc and kept in touch well, if not in person lots of messages and calls and if we could only meet when we had kids with us we still did and it’s always been good even though kids are different ages.

Last time we met, I told friend I was on weight loss injections and had at the time lost a LOT of weight, but she went mad. Really unlike her saying how stupid I am and how unsafe they are to the point I was bouncing between feeling very angry and upset. The last few months have also been good for me and I feel happier than I have in a while. When I was sharing my positive feelings she did not seem to like it (I have had years of stress with parents and other things) in the past she’s always been supportive.

She then didn’t reply to a couple of texts I sent so I left it.

I bumped into her in our local supermarket last week and she appeared really awkward but said ‘we need to catch up’ so I thought great and messaged her to which she said basically thank you for asking her family and kids are all ok, answered a question I asked about her dd at uni and didn’t answer about catching up.

I am thinking just walk away now?

No they’re not. “It’s how I feel” is not a universal get-out clause.

You were right about the no knowledge part, at least…

Well, people are entitled to be poorly informed and jealous. That much is true. But the best response to that kind of thing is to mock it. Start pretending you spend all day on the sofa, refuse to move at all and inject ice cream but still lose weight because WLIs are cheating magic. Enjoy the seething.

Unfortunately nobody can answer these sort of posts objectively, because we only hear one side of it.
I'd be inclined to ask your friend if something is upsetting her, because you're a bit worried about her. It could be nothing to do with your situation.

Like I said, everyone is entitled to have feelings.

Just because your feelings are different doesn't make the other person's feelings wrong.

One day you might be in a situation where you understand that.

They ARE wrong though.

Why would you have FEELINGS about someone else’s body? It’s weird and disturbing. It’s absolutely none of your business how they care for their body.
Why do you even care? There are some weirdos around that’s for sure.

Yes, there are some boundary issues in evidence there. Some people don't realise how close they're getting to creepy.

You have clearly misunderstood...

I have understood perfectly. You said you are entitled to have feelings about other peoples bodies. You are massively overstepping and need to reflect why this would even cross your mind beyond a fleeting acknowledgement. Your response indicates you have unresolved issues of your own.

Again, you have clearly mis-read or mis-understood.

I said that my friend was entitled to have feelings. I didn't mention bodies.

The OP asked why her friend might have changed her the way she acted due to the injections.

My friend is losing weight using walking. Her MIL (that she lives with) is losing weight using injections. Her MIL could lose weight by walking but isn't willing to try. My friend therefore feels that her MIL is lazy by using the injections rather than giving walking a go and has less respect for her.

Why is she sticking her beak in?

I don't agree with jumping to conclusions "she's jealous" as I find most people are not self aware to see the reasons why people might actually back away from them. You've mentioned the weight loss stuff but there could be other reasons that are related to you or her that are not in your OP because you're not aware.

Wow. I couldn’t be friends with someone so judgemental on someone else’s weightloss journey, she’s hardly snorting speed. The woman is taking prescription medication for the purpose it was prescribed,

imagine being so judgemental about someone else’s body and weight loss journey, I’d have to distance myself from that.

I hope the mil continues her journey, reaps all the benefits, and understands just what kind of person her daughter and law is. And her friend.

My friend got engaged and her parents reaction was cool. No excitement no ‘let’s start planning’… she felt that they obviously objected to her fiancé and pulled back. Two months later family meeting and it turns out they BOTH had cancer and were just digesting this news when she made her announcement. So, you just don’t know.
Or she could be very jealous and doesn’t like the idea of her ‘fat friend’ now being something different! I’d remain friendly but leave the ball in her court.

where does it say that she is sticking her beak in?

She just FEELS that her MIL is lazy.

Well she doesn't just feel that, as she's evidently also communicated those feelings to you. That was a choice, as was your decision to approvingly relay it here. People are entitled to judge both you and her for those poor behaviours. Telling thousands of people that you have feelz about your friend's MILs medication choices is creepy. It's not immediately obvious why you'd show yourself up like that.

And no, her feelings aren't justified. It's important to distinguish being entitled to hold an opinion and being capable of constructing any logical or sensible rationale for it.

Mildly frustrated that OP has not answered the question which so many posters have posed: is your friend overweight?
I know that people have a life and are busy but please answer. It makes such a difference.

Well she could keep her FEELINGS to herself and just get on with her own life. But I suspect she’s one of these who thinks she’s doing it the “right” way because she isn’t using appetite control medication, so couldn’t resist having a bitch to you about it.

Not saying either of you are right or wrong, but it's an odd reaction if your version is exact.

Maybe she is jealous or, if not jealous as such, it's brought into focus some aspects of her life that are not great but that she can't change.

Or, you have banged on about how great you look and feel and it got tedious to listen to and came across as critical of her.

Spot on. But those exact same people would expect you to congratulate them if they lost weight. It's comes back to the same thing: a real friend would tell you how amazing you look. Anyone else is just a 'frenemy'.

I've lost 10 stone in the last years. I've also lost 4 friends. Two of whom I would have said were very close friends who'd support me through anything, as I have them.

See, I'm always curious about this: Why shouldn't someone proud of their achievement be allowed to say so!?

If their success makes someone else feel bad, unfortunately, that's a 'them' problem...

Some people really hate us losing weight, especially with WLI’s. Pure jealousy.

Totally agree - be proud of your achievement. But if this then becomes your main topic of conversation and you get wrapped up in yourself and no longer show interest in other people or their achievements/problems, then it's tipped the balance, and after a while it does become tedious for others.

There is a time to blow your own trumpet, but then there is a time to shut up and let others get a word in edgeways.

Not saying the OP did this, though.