Page 7 | Can't Believe What I've Just Seen at a Wedding

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 2025-09-06T17:15:12+00:00

Afternoon wedding, on a beach. Bride in traditional wedding dress, guests mostly in smart normal wedding attire. One guest was in a wedding dress. A proper, full on wedding dress. Strapless, corset back, full length, big full skirt with a TRAIN. The bride had asked guests not to wear white and it wasn't white but bloody hell, who would do that? She looked amazing in it but I simply can't understand the thought process. I've no idea who she was other than a friend of the bride, close enough to go to the hen night, but I'm pretty sure the bride wouldn't have said this dress was OK if she'd been asked. She wasn't a bridesmaid, literally just a guest with no other role to play at the wedding( unless she's going to step up and sing Don't Cry For Me Argentina at the reception later which is possible I suppose!) I'm just gobsmacked that someone would do this.

Cathandkin · 07/09/2025 08:50

WizardOfTopsham · 07/09/2025 08:43

The only time I’ve commented on another guest’s wedding attire was where the bride’s cousin wore a white suit. Not because it was white, but because she wore no top or bra under the jacket, and I don’t think many of the people present escaped without seeing her tits. Including the vicar.

I would think that the first rule of wedding guest attire is not to make yourself centre stage, either by wearing something very bridal or something very revealing!

MiddleAgeRageMonster · 07/09/2025 09:08

Cathandkin · 07/09/2025 08:41

So, you did know what one of your guests was wearing!

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Yes, I believe I made that clear in my post!
I 'noticed' because of what the other guests told me.

Cathandkin · 07/09/2025 09:10

MiddleAgeRageMonster · 07/09/2025 09:08

Yes, I believe I made that clear in my post!
I 'noticed' because of what the other guests told me.

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She stood out though, because she was inappropriately dressed for a wedding. You've remembered it some time later.
So it does matter what people wear.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 07/09/2025 09:42

Cathandkin · 06/09/2025 20:44

No pictures, yet, OP?

Surprise surprise.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 07/09/2025 09:46

When my son got married recently I had to take his younger sister shopping with me for dresses because the whole 'expectation' around weddings has changed so much with the invention of Instagram. She told me sternly and in no uncertain terms what colours were 'acceptable' (tbh neither the bride or groom would have cared one fluffy fig whether I turned up naked or in white lace head to toe). It was quite eye-opening all the new conventions that have been invented since I got married!

looselegs · 07/09/2025 09:53

When my brother got married, one of the guests wore a long, white strappy dress and a tiara!!! I actually thought it was a double wedding and they just didn't tell anyone! My SILs face was a picture when she saw her!
Even if the guest in the pink dress wasn't sure what to wear I'm sure she'd have an idea of what a bride wears....or someone close to her should have given her the heads up....

thereneverwasacloudyday · 07/09/2025 10:00

It seems incredibly unsporting not to be posting a pic by now; just cover her face so she's not identifiable.

MummaMummaMumma · 07/09/2025 10:10

I once helped work at a wedding reception... I congratulated the bride who wore a white, beautiful wedding dress. She was not the bride, she was mother of the groom! I kid you not. I thought she was joking.

LemonTT · 07/09/2025 10:44

SheSpeaks · 06/09/2025 21:39

I’ll preface this with I’m not a wedding person and have zero idea of the “rules” that are apparently just common knowledge (exactly how one gains this knowledge nobody can ever explain to me) but these thread always astound me.

As far as I can tell these rules only apply to women and men can all wear matching or similar suits etc and that’s fine. But what I have learned so far from MN in terms of weddings is:

Women must not, as a wedding guest, wear the same colour as the bride. Even if we don’t know in advance what colour that is. We must not wear white because it has a recent association with women getting married in the UK (very recent, white is in no way traditional). We must not wear red because it indicates a scandal. We must not wear green because it means jealousy or is bad luck. Or black because it indicates mourning and is associated with funerals. We must not wear pale colours lest it is mistaken for white, not lace in case the brides dress has lace, nor white background patterns because of photos. No styling that might be mistaken for a wedding dress (such styling is found in a large percentage of formal wear) Also not formal enough to wear separates, and entirely frowned upon to choose anything someone might interpret as showy or with too much leg or cleavage.

Now I learn we also cannot wear pink or ball gowns.

I have worn pretty much all of above to weddings in the past including white, and including wearing the same colour as the bride, and realise I have lived my life in a perpetual state of faux pas. And yet nobody has seemed concerned and all my friends are still talking to me and most of them am still invited me to their second and third weddings so I can’t have annoyed them too much.

Please do tell me how we are supposed to intuit these mad rules and even better do tell why they only apply to women and why they only apply at the one specific social occasion of a wedding?

This is a great post. The rules are nonsense and instead of getting more relaxed they are becoming absurd. Guests spend stupid amounts of money to attend these events only to be made to feel uncomfortable throughout the day whilst forced to dress according to stupid rules.

For this reason alone I would applaud someone turning up in a ballgown to stick 2 fingers up at the pomposity. I mean who the hell thinks a beach wedding is a good idea? heat, wind, sand and water spray along with a dress code.

CrystalMighty · 07/09/2025 10:54

Echobelly · 06/09/2025 19:34

Why would anyone do it? Because a lot of people know nothing about weddings if they haven't been to many perhaps.

Honestly, before I got married and went on wedding forums and found out more about what's commonplace, if anyone had asked me to be a bridesmaid on the assumption I would 'obviously know' I was expected to attend every dress shopping expedition, be really involved in wedding planning and to sort out a hen weekend for a dozen people in Aiya Napa or whatever, I would have got in such trouble. I assumed the bridesmaids just got bought a dress and had to turn up on the day and look worse than the bride.

Obviously, not every bride expects super involved bridesmaids and most will communicate upfront what they want. But I see online a lot of arguments about being a bridesmade that seem to come from exactly this misalignment of expectation. So I think it's possible a first time guest could just make an error about what you're supposed to wear.

Absolutely this! 👏
15 years on I think my sister still harbours some rage about my utter cluelessness and subsequent uselessness as 'chief' bridesmaid. An engaged 'friend' took over my duties.
I'm probably at the extreme end of the clueless camp though.

Enraged friend, not engaged (she herself was married by that point!)

Echobelly · 07/09/2025 11:51

WizardOfTopsham · 07/09/2025 08:40

At my wedding my best friend wore an outfit that would have upstaged Beyonce, and my ex-MIL wore a very pale cream. I didn’t give a monkeys: they weren’t the ones walking down the aisle, and I thought they both looked fabulous.

Although we are now divorced, I still love my ex-MIL.

Honestly, I'd have cracked up laughing if someone had turned up at my wedding in a big white gown, I was married in a blue 3/4 length blue dress and someone turning up in full bride get up would really have looked a right twat. But it never would have happened as we have very nice friends and family, luckily.

Original poster

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 07/09/2025 12:03

Just reading the replies I'm gobsmacked! I'm accused of lying several times, being AI, the wedding being shit because I posted, that weddings can't take place on beaches. But at least I now now that it's fully acceptable to wear a wedding dress at a wedding!

I didn't take a photograph. The woman presumably would recognise herself if she saw it. She had gone home by the time I went back to the reception in any case.

I can assure everyone who thinks this isn't true that had I wanted to tell a lie on Mumset I'm capable of thinking up something a bit better than that!

OP posts:

Hardtofindone · 07/09/2025 12:26

My best friend asked me to wear either red or white to her wedding. I wore an ivory tea dress. There was absolutely zero confusion I could possibly be the bride, however ball gown, train, , bit much/ strange.
my. Wedding was black tie. My sister's wore floor length corset back dresses but the colours and style couldn't possible have looked bridal in any way.
She either had it ok okayed ( as I did with the color) by the bride or is nuts. Plus why would you wear all that hot stuff to a beach if you didn't need to.
Mind boggles.

Hardtofindone · 07/09/2025 12:31

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 07/09/2025 12:03

Just reading the replies I'm gobsmacked! I'm accused of lying several times, being AI, the wedding being shit because I posted, that weddings can't take place on beaches. But at least I now now that it's fully acceptable to wear a wedding dress at a wedding!

I didn't take a photograph. The woman presumably would recognise herself if she saw it. She had gone home by the time I went back to the reception in any case.

I can assure everyone who thinks this isn't true that had I wanted to tell a lie on Mumset I'm capable of thinking up something a bit better than that!

Oh well that settled then, if I get invited to any weddings soon I'll make use of my enormous wedding dress( is the veil acceptable? How about the tiara🤔) they are very nice after all, and why spend if I don't have to😅.
It can be the new game, spot the bride!!

You only have to look at Sandals brochure or many Cyprus ones to see beach weddings are a huge thing.

Of course you don't wear a wedding dress to someone else's wedding, plenty of wedding dresses come in pale pink these days. Bonkers!

Cathandkin · 07/09/2025 15:15

Hardtofindone · 07/09/2025 12:26

My best friend asked me to wear either red or white to her wedding. I wore an ivory tea dress. There was absolutely zero confusion I could possibly be the bride, however ball gown, train, , bit much/ strange.
my. Wedding was black tie. My sister's wore floor length corset back dresses but the colours and style couldn't possible have looked bridal in any way.
She either had it ok okayed ( as I did with the color) by the bride or is nuts. Plus why would you wear all that hot stuff to a beach if you didn't need to.
Mind boggles.

Imagine telling people what to wear to your wedding. A wedding is more than the photos, surely?

KimberleyClark · 07/09/2025 15:58

AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 06/09/2025 20:49

I totally agree!

OP I think this is on you. It's up there with people saying 'don't be ignorant' when you're ignoring them. Wedding dresses do not have the monopoly on trains, satin or lace. If it looked like a wedding dress design and was, for example, green, it's a ballgown.

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It was very very pale pink.

OriginalUsername2 · 07/09/2025 16:02

Simplelife1 · 06/09/2025 19:06

Really??? You're at a wedding but posting on MN?? WHAT A LOAD OF BS

There’s a LOT of free time at a wedding

KimberleyClark · 07/09/2025 16:09

CaptainMyCaptain · 07/09/2025 08:02

This.

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I’ve worn red to a wedding twice. First time 35 years ago, red Jacques Vert suit with matching hat. Second time, twenty years ago, strappy dress, red with white print, with red jacket, accessories and fascinator. I was totally unaware of the alleged connotations.

TheLastOfTheMohicans · 07/09/2025 17:55

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 06/09/2025 18:50

It is a very pale pink. Ball gowns don't tend to have trains, I think it's a wedding dress she's maybe had dyed.

The bride didn't react as she didn't really see it- the guest was in the congregation and the bride was getting married.

The reception starts in ten minutes so I guess the bride will see it then!

Edited

Pale pink, so a good chance of showing up white on photos, classy!

DeeKitch · 07/09/2025 17:58

KimberleyClark · 07/09/2025 16:09

I’ve worn red to a wedding twice. First time 35 years ago, red Jacques Vert suit with matching hat. Second time, twenty years ago, strappy dress, red with white print, with red jacket, accessories and fascinator. I was totally unaware of the alleged connotations.

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Can’t wear red? Never knew that

FeetLikeFlippers · 07/09/2025 17:59

I was expecting something much worse but then I’ve never understood why people get so worked up about weddings in the first place. Pink dress woman does sound a bit bonkers but if I’d been there I would have been glad to have something to laugh about and brighten up an otherwise tedious day!

MissMarplesNiece · 07/09/2025 18:03

MadameSzyszkoBohusz · 06/09/2025 19:03

I once attended a wedding where the MOB wore a full length white dress with a veil. 😲

Very similar - I went to a wedding where father of the bride had a new partner who wore a huge white "meringue" of a dress to the wedding. They walked down the aisle of the church arm in arm to the front pews. I was just surprised they hadn't paid the organist to play "here comes the bride". (The bride had chosen to walk down the aisle on her own accompanied only by MOH, just incase if anyone was wondering if her dad had to go back up the aisle to fetch her).

3peassuit · 07/09/2025 18:04

I’ve been to weddings with American families and guests where the women wore what looked to me like over the top ballgowns and evening dress. Maybe op’s fellow guest was American and didn’t understand the dress code for a UK wedding.

JackJarvisEsq · 07/09/2025 18:12

RichardMarxisinnocent · 06/09/2025 19:46

Are you outside the UK OP? There are as far as I know hardly any places in the UK where you can actually get married on the beach itself (Lusty Glaze in Cornwall is one I know of) so if it's in the UK you might have given away what wedding you're at and roughly where you live. If you're outside the UK obviously there are no such worries.

Well that’s just not true. In Scotland you can get married anywhere if you have the landowners permission

wasdarknowblond · 07/09/2025 18:12

FFS is she totally stupid or something?