Can't Believe What I've Just Seen at a Wedding

[Bulbsbulbsbulbs]

Afternoon wedding, on a beach. Bride in traditional wedding dress, guests mostly in smart normal wedding attire.

One guest was in a wedding dress. A proper, full on wedding dress. Strapless, corset back, full length, big full skirt with a TRAIN.

The bride had asked guests not to wear white and it wasn't white but bloody hell, who would do that? She looked amazing in it but I simply can't understand the thought process. I've no idea who she was other than a friend of the bride, close enough to go to the hen night, but I'm pretty sure the bride wouldn't have said this dress was OK if she'd been asked. She wasn't a bridesmaid, literally just a guest with no other role to play at the wedding( unless she's going to step up and sing Don't Cry For Me Argentina at the reception later which is possible I suppose!)

I'm just gobsmacked that someone would do this.

You can in Scotland. You can get married pretty much anywhere you like in Scotland.

@RichardMarxisinnocent It may be limited in England (not sure as I’ve never looked into it), but in Scotland you can get married pretty much anywhere outside in the public domain, as long as you have an authorised celebrant.

I was at a wedding where someone wore a full skirted white lace dress. It wasn't long, but still. I think sometimes people don't realise.

This is peak daily mail fodder,they’ll steal this if you post a pic

Are they non-British? In some other countries guests dress a lot more full on

My ex's 'special friend' was, indeed, the only person at our wedding dressed a flowing white outfit 😒 It was floaty white trousers with a floaty white overdress, which she probably thought gave her plausible deniability. Unfortunately for her, XH was far too dense to understand the hidden message! Plenty of the other guests got it, though.

This is the upcoming adaptation of Wuthering Heights, not Great Expectations.

This is fucking amazing 🤣🤣

Thank you. So not Miss Havisham, then.
Catherine Earnshaw, I'm guessing?

Yes, alongside Jacob Elordi.

DH and I went to a wedding a month before we got married. The bride then wore her dress to our wedding. I thought that was really weird and rude. Not really bothered to make friends with her since then (friend of DH).

Interesting, thank you.

Oh FFS 🤦! I honestly did get a education! Can I just blame the 🍷 I've been mainlining tonight?!

England.

Scottish marriage laws are totally different and you can be married on any beach.

😂no biggie!
Mystery solved, I was very confused...😅

I would assume it’s around cultural differences in wedding attire.

Unbelievable! What motivated her, seriously!

I’ll preface this with I’m not a wedding person and have zero idea of the “rules” that are apparently just common knowledge (exactly how one gains this knowledge nobody can ever explain to me) but these thread always astound me.

As far as I can tell these rules only apply to women and men can all wear matching or similar suits etc and that’s fine. But what I have learned so far from MN in terms of weddings is:

Women must not, as a wedding guest, wear the same colour as the bride. Even if we don’t know in advance what colour that is. We must not wear white because it has a recent association with women getting married in the UK (very recent, white is in no way traditional). We must not wear red because it indicates a scandal. We must not wear green because it means jealousy or is bad luck. Or black because it indicates mourning and is associated with funerals. We must not wear pale colours lest it is mistaken for white, not lace in case the brides dress has lace, nor white background patterns because of photos. No styling that might be mistaken for a wedding dress (such styling is found in a large percentage of formal wear) Also not formal enough to wear separates, and entirely frowned upon to choose anything someone might interpret as showy or with too much leg or cleavage.

Now I learn we also cannot wear pink or ball gowns.

I have worn pretty much all of above to weddings in the past including white, and including wearing the same colour as the bride, and realise I have lived my life in a perpetual state of faux pas. And yet nobody has seemed concerned and all my friends are still talking to me and most of them am still invited me to their second and third weddings so I can’t have annoyed them too much.

Please do tell me how we are supposed to intuit these mad rules and even better do tell why they only apply to women and why they only apply at the one specific social occasion of a wedding?

I'm guessing OP is American. Or has worked in journalism.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Title_case

Is the guest from a different culture? Been to several weddings abroad where the average guest look was MUCH fancier that the UK... If it's not white I don't see a problem TBH!!

Actually I apologise OP as I missed it was a pale pink. That does sound a bit close for comfort; I thought perhaps it was a more oomphy colour.

But many ballgowns have a bit of train - I'm in a choir and the pro singers we have performing with us often have gowns with trains. Not much though - if you're talking one that's more than a metre long, then she is definitely out of order.

The rules actually aren’t that difficult.

Do not look like the bride or bridesmaids/ wedding party.
Do not stand out above the bride.

The various colours and stipulations are only because people are thick as pig shit and without reminders will forget …it’s not about them.

Why is it ok for men to look like the groom?

How do we know what the bride(s) are going to wear in advance? How do we avoid looking like the entire rest of people at the party? That could be hundreds of people in an array of colours?

The last few weddings I’ve been to, the women getting married wore purple, red, white, green, and gold dresses, and one wore pink dungarees. I didn’t know what anyone was going to be wearing before I got there.

Yeah, me too. That’s what I was taught in school. Then again I used to meticulously use capital letters where appropriate when googling something - like a person or a place. Now I can’t be arsed😆

Honestly I think it's fine. Why shouldn't I be a good reason to really dress up ? The men do

These alleged rules only exist in the strangled confines of mumsnet. Where a grandiose minority seek to apply a convoluted set of rules & norms to social situations. Deeming anyone who won’t acquiesce to their constrictive demands as thick as pigshit.
Meanwhile is real life there are no such rules, and no self appointed harridans to impose their rules