Page 5 | Can't Believe What I've Just Seen at a Wedding

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 2025-09-06T17:15:12+00:00

Afternoon wedding, on a beach. Bride in traditional wedding dress, guests mostly in smart normal wedding attire. One guest was in a wedding dress. A proper, full on wedding dress. Strapless, corset back, full length, big full skirt with a TRAIN. The bride had asked guests not to wear white and it wasn't white but bloody hell, who would do that? She looked amazing in it but I simply can't understand the thought process. I've no idea who she was other than a friend of the bride, close enough to go to the hen night, but I'm pretty sure the bride wouldn't have said this dress was OK if she'd been asked. She wasn't a bridesmaid, literally just a guest with no other role to play at the wedding( unless she's going to step up and sing Don't Cry For Me Argentina at the reception later which is possible I suppose!) I'm just gobsmacked that someone would do this.

Crinkle77 · 06/09/2025 22:08

SheSpeaks · 06/09/2025 21:39

I’ll preface this with I’m not a wedding person and have zero idea of the “rules” that are apparently just common knowledge (exactly how one gains this knowledge nobody can ever explain to me) but these thread always astound me.

As far as I can tell these rules only apply to women and men can all wear matching or similar suits etc and that’s fine. But what I have learned so far from MN in terms of weddings is:

Women must not, as a wedding guest, wear the same colour as the bride. Even if we don’t know in advance what colour that is. We must not wear white because it has a recent association with women getting married in the UK (very recent, white is in no way traditional). We must not wear red because it indicates a scandal. We must not wear green because it means jealousy or is bad luck. Or black because it indicates mourning and is associated with funerals. We must not wear pale colours lest it is mistaken for white, not lace in case the brides dress has lace, nor white background patterns because of photos. No styling that might be mistaken for a wedding dress (such styling is found in a large percentage of formal wear) Also not formal enough to wear separates, and entirely frowned upon to choose anything someone might interpret as showy or with too much leg or cleavage.

Now I learn we also cannot wear pink or ball gowns.

I have worn pretty much all of above to weddings in the past including white, and including wearing the same colour as the bride, and realise I have lived my life in a perpetual state of faux pas. And yet nobody has seemed concerned and all my friends are still talking to me and most of them am still invited me to their second and third weddings so I can’t have annoyed them too much.

Please do tell me how we are supposed to intuit these mad rules and even better do tell why they only apply to women and why they only apply at the one specific social occasion of a wedding?

Yep this. Why do people give a toss what a guest is wearing. I mean everyone at a wedding will know who the bride is, all eyes will be on the happy couple because they are the reason everyone is there. Another guest wearing white or a long flowy dress won't be the centre of attention and the only ones making her the centre of attention are the ones making a big deal about another guests outfit.

Wowweee1234 · 06/09/2025 22:08

RichardMarxisinnocent · 06/09/2025 19:46

Are you outside the UK OP? There are as far as I know hardly any places in the UK where you can actually get married on the beach itself (Lusty Glaze in Cornwall is one I know of) so if it's in the UK you might have given away what wedding you're at and roughly where you live. If you're outside the UK obviously there are no such worries.

Good point. I do know of one beach wedding today. Uk.

IsSheOkayOrWhat · 06/09/2025 22:11

must be a shit wedding if your on your phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SheSpeaks · 06/09/2025 22:11

CoffeeLipstickKeys · 06/09/2025 22:04

These alleged rules only exist in the strangled confines of mumsnet. Where a grandiose minority seek to apply a convoluted set of rules & norms to social situations. Deeming anyone who won’t acquiesce to their constrictive demands as thick as pigshit.
Meanwhile is real life there are no such rules, and no self appointed harridans to impose their rules

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And in real life, it absolutely is “all about them”. People choosing to invite people to their weddings are creating a group event. For a reason. Weddings are public events, matters of public record. I’ve been to more than one wedding I wasn’t invited to. In the uk traditionally they are absolutely participation events that are as much about the guests, the networking, the socialising, the family relationships, the new titles bestowed, the joining of groups of people.

If a couple wants something to be all about them, to be all for their own needs only and not about anyone else’s, it would be a private thing. if weddings are NOT ABOUT the guests then why are they there?

Marchintospring · 06/09/2025 22:16

SheSpeaks · 06/09/2025 21:56

Why is it ok for men to look like the groom?

How do we know what the bride(s) are going to wear in advance? How do we avoid looking like the entire rest of people at the party? That could be hundreds of people in an array of colours?

The last few weddings I’ve been to, the women getting married wore purple, red, white, green, and gold dresses, and one wore pink dungarees. I didn’t know what anyone was going to be wearing before I got there.

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Because men wear what’s expected from a very limited range. Men always look the same formally and informally.

Sorry your wedding invites were crap. Most couples specify what they want guests to wear.
Again the point about people being pig shit. This is why “formalities” were a thing. Now we all do what we want, the need to detail obvious stuff needs saying.

Gardenservant · 06/09/2025 22:29

MadameSzyszkoBohusz · 06/09/2025 19:03

I once attended a wedding where the MOB wore a full length white dress with a veil. 😲

My neighbour wore her cream wedding dress and large cream hat that she had recently worn at her own second marriage recently at her daughter's wedding. Her daughter emigrated to Australia soon after!

user1473878824 · 06/09/2025 22:29

Simplelife1 · 06/09/2025 19:06

Really??? You're at a wedding but posting on MN?? WHAT A LOAD OF BS

I scrolled through Mumsnet while having a wee and then when I was sneaking a fag during the wedding I’ve just left this evening. What do you do at weddings, hold onto the bride’s ankles?

JustChillin70 · 06/09/2025 22:35

We got married at Gretna Green and I was by no means the only bride there or even at our hotel. Made absolutely no difference to me that there were others wandering around in wedding dresses and was fine with my own guests wearing whatever style or colour of dress they fancied.

whatcanthematterbe81 · 06/09/2025 22:36

SheSpeaks · 06/09/2025 22:11

And in real life, it absolutely is “all about them”. People choosing to invite people to their weddings are creating a group event. For a reason. Weddings are public events, matters of public record. I’ve been to more than one wedding I wasn’t invited to. In the uk traditionally they are absolutely participation events that are as much about the guests, the networking, the socialising, the family relationships, the new titles bestowed, the joining of groups of people.

If a couple wants something to be all about them, to be all for their own needs only and not about anyone else’s, it would be a private thing. if weddings are NOT ABOUT the guests then why are they there?

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I’m a bit drunk so forgive me if I’m missing something. But why would you go to a wedding you’re not invited to? Like what would you get out of it

DramaLlamacchiato · 06/09/2025 23:00

Someone wore a strapless white dress to my wedding. A few people commented they thought it was inappropriate but on the day I honestly wasn’t that bothered

CoffeeLipstickKeys · 06/09/2025 23:05

DramaLlamacchiato · 06/09/2025 23:00

Someone wore a strapless white dress to my wedding. A few people commented they thought it was inappropriate but on the day I honestly wasn’t that bothered

Indeed
it is pretty obvious at a wedding who is the bride, she’s the woman at the front everyone is looking at
No bride is outshone by a guest unless your guest is Taylor, and she’s too well mannered to outshine a bride

Figcherry · 06/09/2025 23:13

Marchintospring · 06/09/2025 22:16

Because men wear what’s expected from a very limited range. Men always look the same formally and informally.

Sorry your wedding invites were crap. Most couples specify what they want guests to wear.
Again the point about people being pig shit. This is why “formalities” were a thing. Now we all do what we want, the need to detail obvious stuff needs saying.

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Most couples do not specify what people should wear.

moto748e · 06/09/2025 23:37

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 06/09/2025 19:29

Why Is Your Subject Line Capitalized Like AI Wrote It?

Wasn't there a thread just like this a week or two ago? (Haven't RTWT).

BIossomtoes · 06/09/2025 23:39

Most couples specify what they want guests to wear.

Not at any wedding I’ve ever been to.

TrishM80 · 06/09/2025 23:42

Don't see the problem with that dress tbh

Ellmau · 06/09/2025 23:48

If it's the shade of pink in OP's linked picture, I think it's fine, maybe a bit overdressed for a beach wedding, but not really bridal.

PeonyPatch · 06/09/2025 23:52

Why would you wear a ball gown at a beach wedding? 😂

user1492757084 · 07/09/2025 00:03

It's very formal.
Do you think it was a bridesmaid dress that guest wanted to get another wear out of?

DoodleLug · 07/09/2025 00:06

Is she a larger lady? My friend is and had her wedding dress made to fit at great expense then dyed so she could wear it again.

No train though, that's ridiculous.

WonderfulSmith · 07/09/2025 00:16

I’m just here for the picture. Just crop it so we can’t see her top half.

LemondrizzleShark · 07/09/2025 00:33

Bananaandmangosmoothie · 06/09/2025 20:23

Is this a white people wedding and is the guest also white?

Black women don’t generally wear floor length wedding dresses with trains to other people’s weddings either, in my experience…

Phatgurslyms · 07/09/2025 00:35

Cathandkin · 06/09/2025 20:43

Miss Havisham not from the book, I'm guessing. The traditional appearance is definitely not that .
Perhaps they've gone back in time, before she was jilted?
When people refer to "Miss Havisham" they generally mean the woman stuck in time, in her old, ragged dress.

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Are you always so pedantic?

when people say someone is like Miss Havisham they may mean any number of things rather than sticking to the absolute detail of Dickens’s novel. The main idea is someone who wears a wedding gown to mark a wedding that never happened.

Lifebeganat50 · 07/09/2025 00:46

RichardMarxisinnocent · 06/09/2025 19:46

Are you outside the UK OP? There are as far as I know hardly any places in the UK where you can actually get married on the beach itself (Lusty Glaze in Cornwall is one I know of) so if it's in the UK you might have given away what wedding you're at and roughly where you live. If you're outside the UK obviously there are no such worries.

“Hardly any places in the UK”

apart from the whole of Scotland 🙄

Phatgurslyms · 07/09/2025 00:51

LemondrizzleShark · 07/09/2025 00:33

Black women don’t generally wear floor length wedding dresses with trains to other people’s weddings either, in my experience…

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Black women have has much right as anyone else to display eccentric behaviour.

CoffeeLipstickKeys · 07/09/2025 01:19

LemondrizzleShark · 07/09/2025 00:33

Black women don’t generally wear floor length wedding dresses with trains to other people’s weddings either, in my experience…

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Guest not wearing a wedding dress, she’s not the bride, Guest wearing a dress to a wedding. If it’s anything like the
For clarity, are you declaring how all women dress for a wedding?Or just yourself?
Fwiw apparently the dress is like

Can't Believe What I've Just Seen at a Wedding