To all eat the same meals!!!

[MumWhoHatesCooking]

So we have three boys (8,10,12) and we may have one meal a week that they ALL eat (for instance spaghetti bolognaise) but every.other.night I am cooking a different meal as one doesn’t like noodles for instance the other doesn’t eat beans, one only eats fries, the other two can’t stand them, one likes burgers the other likes fish fingers (but only on a certain day ya’know!)

And then one day they like something and the next week they don’t!?

Ive tried the whole you’ll eat what I’ve made and nothing else ….. they then don’t eat !

The kids are being unreasonable right?
(please tell me they’re being unreasonable, from a very frustrated mother, who hates cooking dinner and then they don’t eat it 😭)

Stop doing it. Just don’t. They are all old enough to understand that this is a no. These do not sound like likes and dislikes but preferences. It’s time they learned that you can’t always have what they want. Personally I would serve them spag bol 7 times a week.
how can you like spaghetti but not noodles 🤦‍♀️

Get them all to sit down and see if they can come up with meals they all like. Even if it's just one or two it will help.

You say they all like spaghetti Bolognese. So can you make a massive batch of the sauce for that, then freeze it in portions. And serve it with pasta, potatoes, rice (whatever you're serving for the rest of the family) or add beans to some if it depending on who's eating it? Then that could be the default meal for people not willing to eat the other meals on offer?

Ultimately once they're secondary school age they should be able to cook basic meals for themselves, or at least slam something beige from the freezer into an oven or air fryer. So encouraging them to cook and shop for ingredients might be helpful.

Nope, I wouldn't stand for this. One dinner and if they don't eat it they don't get anything else the rest of the evening. The dinner will stay on the table and be offered again when they are inevitably hungry later. They will soon learn.

I had four with vastly different tastes and I always joked that there was a choice for dinner - “take it or leave it”. I made sure there was bread and butter on the table and I would make minor adjustments if it was easily done, but no one starved and they’re now adults who eat a good variety. In my experience, the more you pander, the more fussy they will become.

Yeah I absolutely couldn’t be dealing with that. At most I’d serve a deconstructed version family style at the table and people could pick what bits they do/don’t want 🤷🏻‍♀️

I usually keep a few packets of microwave rice in the cupboard and have no issue if someone would rather have something quick like that - eg if I’m making chilli with baked potato or something and they’d rather have rice than potato.
But I’m not cooking everyone separate meals!

We’ve only ever served one meal - one of the DC’s may prefer one meal over another but there is no choice. Snacks aren’t provided as an alternative.

Omg so I am doing it all wrong 😑

I don’t pander to my kids needs in any other area, but I think where dinner is concerned everyone should have a full meal if that makes sense?

ok so I need to get organised and then I’ll try and meal plan.

and I like the idea of batch cooking, putting it into practice might be harder 😅

(goes and puts her big girls pants on)

Nope, wouldn't faff about with different meals. I made one meal and they either ate it or they didn't. I put the food out in serving dishes on the table and evening eats what they want. There was always bread and butter to fill up as well.

We cook one meal and everyone eats it. There’s nothing else on offer. We all have our favourites and not so favourites of course, but it’s good to learn you can’t have your favourites all the time.

Nah one dinner but I’d always stick something on the table everyone will i.e. if I serve a pasta I know the eldest isn’t massively keen on I’ll do a garlic bread and a salad too since I know she likes both.

I cook one meal each evening. For anyone who isn't happy there is always bread, cheese and salad. Their choice.

There is no way on earth I would have come in from work and made more than one meal for everyone. The alternative was only ever bread and cheese. That applied to visiting children as well.
Even if i hadn’t had paid work I would not have made different meals.

1 meal, like PP above if I know im serving something controversial i'll make sure there's a bread on the table, garlic, naan, poppadoms or like those part baked rolls and butter.

Otherwise eat what you like and leave what you don't.

One meal for everyone here but I am mindful of what the kids genuinely don’t like.
For example, today we had steak, blue cheese sauce, chips and veg. Me and the husband like big mushrooms and asparagus with ours but neither my son or daughter like mushrooms so I do another veg for them that they do like…today was broccoli.

I am lucky that my kids will eat most things and their list of dislikes is fairly small so it is reasonably easy to cook meals we all enjoy. I do miss my mushroom based dishes though as I love them…but not enough to cook two different meals 🤣

Noodles, beans, fries, burgers, fish fingers they're old enough to 'cook' for themselves really.

Well the eldest two anyway.

I think it's fair enough to not like something but then they should learn to be polite and either eat around the offending item or eat more of the other bits. And you can try and do things a little more deconstructed to make that easier for them eg. Leave chillies/ spring onion out of a stir fry for those who like it to add.

But 1 meal a night is all you should have to cook!

Oh lord yes OP, I hear you!

But in my case it's not often my problem because my husband does most of the cooking haha!

Oh and I'm part of the problem because I'm a pescetarian (the others love meat) and I get bloated so don't eat pasta or bread (much, I love bread but it doesn't love me).

But yes, it's often separate meals in our house, plus we're still whizzing up bloody curry and pasta sauces because my 15-yo daughter hates onions.

Sigh.

I've only got the one, but I refuse to cook him different meals to us generally. He's fussy about carbs (hates all form of potato for example!) so if I know he won't eat the carbs we're having I'll give him some bread with his. I might also adapt a meal if I know he really won't like e.g. a sauce (so he'll get his chicken breast plain while we have ours with a mushroom sauce). Or I'll pop a few bits of pepper to the side if I'm cooking it in a dish as he likes them raw but not cooked... So basically, nothing that involves extra work!

Put the pans or dishes in the middle of the table with big serving spoons for people to help themselves - don't 'plate up' for them. (But you have to watch that no-one takes more than a fair share).
Offer a few choices in the pans, e.g. do baked beans and peas.
No-one has to eat anything they don't want to.
The only alternative is bread. You can offer butter/spread or cheese in addition if you feel the need.

I like the idea that you ask them to get together and agree some more meal suggestions that they will all eat.

Omg so I am doing it all wrong 😑

I despair.

Yes, yes you are.

In my house I make one meal. I am happy to make noodles and rice to go with the stir fry so there’s a choice, I’m happy to serve the spaghetti, bolognese and cheese separately on the table so they can choose (and put out the pesto as an alternative), and I’m happy to serve peas and beans and carrots so they can choose the combo they like. But not actual separate dinners.

My rule has always been that if you don’t like the dinner you can have cereal or toast that you make yourself. This has now expanded to pasta and omelette as they’re old enough to make it themselves.

I am not a cafe!

I try really hard to only cook one meal (potentially with minor alterations, like pasta with a spoon of pesto rather than the bolognese everyone is having etc).

My kids all have a couple of pre-agreed, moderately healthy substitute meal that they are able to prepare for themselves in the event that they really hate the main meal (like a peanut butter sandwich and a satsuma, or plain noodles with a couple of fish fingers and an obligatory chunk of cucumber)

This is fairly workable for all of us (although I do have to reset expectations fairly regularly as to what constitutes a moderately healthy substitute meal)

My son was cooking for me at age 10. Don’t pander to them.. teach them to cook and then they’ll appreciate what you do much more

Mine are the same age, if they don't like what DH or I have cooked, they can cook their own dinner. Each of mine is also responsible for cooking (and choosing the recipe, and telling me if they need any ingredients) one evening per week.