Sleep deprivation and work

[189SleepyMum]

I have a 12 month old and I work full time. Went back to work at 8 months. It was horrible, he was teething the whole time but i powered through as i thought it was temporary.

He had a brief stint of sleeping through the night, 11 hours, from 10.5 to 11.5 months. These last 2 weeks though he started sleeping badly again. The last 2 nights were particularly bad. He woke up every 90 minutes. And the nights before he woke 2-3 times and I got maybe 4 hours of sleep each night.

I'm at work and honestly incapable of doing anything other than simple admin. I've been staring at the screen all day. My brain just won't work. I want to cry. And I soon have to go home and parent a very energetic toddler for the next 3 hours. I just want to collapse.

How do you all do it? This is a part of parenting I was not expecting. I mean yeah babies don't sleep. But I really thought by 12 months we'd sleep again. At least some 6 hour chunks.

Going to bed early isn't helping, he woke up and cried at 9.30 pm, 11pm, 12.30, 2am, 4am and up for the day at 5.30 am.

Calpol made no difference.

He eats a TON of food. Everyone comments on how much food he eats. He's also walking ALL THE TIME, he's definitely burning energy. He does not seem to be teething.

One of my kids didn't start sleeping through until he started school. It was torture.
I have no help to offer, sorry, just to say you're not alone and you'll get through this x

Where is his dad in all this?

By my side all night, equally exhausted.

Sleep train, sleep train, sleep train. Best thing we ever did and would do it again every time.

Look at the blissful baby sleep expert, she’s a miracle worker!

Maybe it's worth to search if there's some sleep therapist for young babies. Ask pediatrician, maybe he has some advice?

We did and it worked well and was very quick at 6 months. It all went to shit when he started teething. He was teething constantly from 8-10 months, he got 6 teeth in 8 weeks. Then got hand foot and mouth. Then got the flu. There was not a single day between 8 months and 10.5 months that he was 100% well.

Then he he was suddenly ok and started sleeping, on his own.

This is different. He is SCREAMING when he wakes. He is completely inconsolable. I can't let him cry like that.

Can you have separate rooms temporarily? The one 'on duty' does the night get ups and the one 'off duty' puts earplugs in and gets a full night's sleep, knowing that someone else is dealing with the baby.

Do alternate nights. No point in both of you being exhausted. At least you get every other night to sleep through.

You need to split the night or take turns.

If you go to bed at 9pm partner stays up and does until 2ish. You then take over from 2ish.

Or you do tonight but partner gets up early and leaves you to lie in and then partner does tomorrow night and you leave them to lie in Sunday.

Supper before bed. Mine used to have weetabix.

You need to take it in turns so each of you is able to get a decent chunk of sleep.

Also if you’re too tired to function, as a one off, call in sick.

Definitely split the nights. If you know you are getting a full nights sleep every other night you can power through when it’s your turn to be up.

@Hatty65 @BlueMum16 DS isn't just waking up, he is screaming for a good 10-15 minutes each time. I'd have to go sleep with a neighbour 3 doors down to not hear him.

It is awful OP. You get a lot of bossy posts on here ordering you on what you ‘should’ be doing but my children would absolutely not tolerate DH overnight and by the time I’d woken him and prodded him out of bed I was just as tired as if it was me getting up!

I did sleep train at 18 months as things were just dire but then he started waking at 5 which was also horrible, especially in the winter.

It does even out and they sleep more but oh gosh … it’s hard.

It's not a one off, it's been a whole week. Well, 2 weeks, but it's got progressively worse.

It’s tough but I think not outside the realms of normality.

As you have a partner, if your child will sleep with him then I suggest you take turns to get good nights sleep, rather than both getting broken sleep every night.

I think sleep training children is cruel and would never advocate it. They are small and vulnerable and if they need us they need us.

How does your child usually go back to sleep? Hopefully they will manage longer stretches soon.

Him crying for a little while for one night is short term pain for long term gain. If you know his nappy is dry, he’s got a full tummy and has had calpol then he’s crying for comfort out as part of a new routine.

You could try ambesol and strawberry nurofen for teething. Some children get refluxy off the orange nurofen.

Have you checked he doesn't have an ear infection/ earache ?
Might be worth checking

DD is now 15 but I remember these days well. Some days I would sleep for an hour in my office at lunch time under my desk with a pillow I was so sleep deprived. Tbh she's still a terrible sleeper, but no longer needs me to sit with her at night - that stopped at about 10. She's ASD so I made a lot of allowances, but the sleep issue is main reason she's not got any siblings. I couldn't go through it again.

We saw the doctor on Tuesday, as he had his chicken pox vaccinations. He checked him over quickly, he was totally fine. And this sleep regression had already started.

Co sleeping saved my sanity with my youngest DD, at least everyone got more sleep then.
She is now 10 and sleeps in her own bed so no permanent damage created, in fact it was probably good for her.
Also if you have a spare room you and DH could take turns sleeping in there?
We only have 3 beds so not an option for us

In which case you need to take it in turns, no point in it disrupting both of you equally.

Either one night on/one night off or in shifts of half the night each or whatever else works. Sleep downstairs/use earplugs if necessary.

It all seems hellish and never-ending now (I’ve been there) but I’m almost certain you’ll look back in years to come and realise it was a small blip.

Do you think it’s teething still or something else causing pain?
I sleep trained all of mine by 12 months, but that obviously isn’t a solution if they’re in pain 😢
I would either alternate nights with DH and literally sleep furthest point away even if downstairs with as many closed doors as possible.
Or does he settle if next to you? If so, you could co-sleep until he’s better and then sleep train.

Everyone saying take it in turns, do you live in gigantic houses? We live in a normal 2 bed flat in London with shitty thin walls. I wear ear plugs anyway as DS sometimes stirs and I can even hear that. I haven't found an earplug to keep the screaming out, and I have probably bought every single one on the market already.

Sounds like the back molars then.
My DD was fine but DS was inconsolable.

All this blah blah sleep training people keep going on about is nonsense when they are teething badly.
Calpol/ ibuprofen
Would he sleep in bed with you ?

I’ve said the exact same thing on here @189SleepyMum . I honestly don’t know how people sleep through a crying baby in a normal size house.

Neither of mine slept through until they were two. Somehow made it through work on coffee and sugar.