Husband became unexpectedly and severely ill a few months ago - we are talking blues and twos to hospital, major operations and a long recovery. He is still pretty sick, recovering slowly but it has been a long haul. Before we were pretty flush with money, very active socially and were pretty much the fixit couple in our social circle, hands on helping with house renovations and paying the lions share for group holidays when other people were short. Having seen a couple of other friends go through this with their partners after accidents or illness I had seen before that some people do drop you socially, either because they are uncomfortable with illness or because you just can't be as useful to them anymore, but I have been completely floored by how brutal this has been in our case. I am aware that the friends that stay and support you during this sort of chaos are liquid gold, but several people have been very upfront about ditching us with statements like "Well, (name of illness) isn't exactly glamorous, is it? I can't be around that" and from one friend that we supported through her partner's illness and death "I just don't want to be around you two anymore - I can't cope with any more sickness in my life." Can just about understand the latter one (although she hasn't seen either of us since he was rushed in) but the others have been devastating. Just to clarify, they weren't being asked to come to the house and help out or take on any care duties - although we have supported other people (including some who have now dumped us) in that way, as we are coping ok with the support of medical staff, our grown up kids, other friends and good neighbours. AIBU to be both sad and livid about this? I keep having to hide from my husband who is hurt and upset by the way that these people have behaved and cry it out where I can't be seen or heard - I hate the people that have treated us like this but I miss them too.