AIBU? Taking child out of school

[MummaHud]

Am I being unreasonable for taking my child out of school in June, for a 10 night family holiday for our honeymoon.

she is in year 1 - the difference in a holiday which will be such a life experience for her is £3k for the sake of going 5 weeks later out side of school times.

my parents say ‘take the fine’
my partners parents are saying we are unreasonable and do a cheaper holiday somewhere cheaper in the school holidays.

has anyone else done this before that can give advice?

I think its fine.

What advice do you want?

You know it's against the rules, so it's up to you if you want to break them and pay the fine or not. You might have got permission for the odd day but 10 nights is a long stretch. If you don't think the rules should apply to you then go for it.

has anyone else done this before that can give advice?

I suggest an advanced search.

I think it's permissable if the child is in school elsewhere. I'm not sure if you can find a way to make your honeymoon be also "in school elsewhere".

Like I mean if they were doing sports training or something, I think that might count.

Or language training actually. That might count.

I wouldn't just for the sake of a cheaper holiday even if it is your honeymoon.
But we have for a close family wedding in Australia. DS was in Year 2. We took him out for a week after Oct half term. We had no choice on the date for the wedding.
As it was a wedding we got 3 days authorised - 1 for the wedding and 2 for travel. Which took us just under the limit for a fine.
He missed alot and it took him a while to catch back up again but he did by the end of the year.

Your honeymoon? A 'life experience' for a 5/6 year old?

Honestly - going to the beach for a day is a life experience for a 5/6 year old.

She won't even remember your honeymoon by the time she's 12.

so - for your rubbish justifications YABU

I have taken mine out a couple of times and would happily do so again. They didn't miss much learning wise, gained from the experiences and the family time (and our school understood this and were supportive)

It's fine.
Take the fine and also take some Maths, Writing and Reading suggestions from the teacher. School her for an hour or two each day. Help her not to come back from the holiday terribly behind.

I think the the actual crux of this issue is missed whenever it crops up. It's not about 'you' or your kid missing 'just a few days' of school.

If every family had carte blanche to do that then teachers would never would never be teaching to a full classroom. If every kid had 'just a couple of days' here and there the teaching would be all over the place.

If you can't afford a holiday out of term time, then you can't afford that holiday.

It’s fine OP.
She’s not doing her A levels here.
Do some extra work with her for a couple of weeks when you get back if you think she needs it. This holiday is important but it is also important she doesn’t fall behind. But you can do both. Maybe ask her teacher to see if there are areas you could work on. (Don’t ask the teacher to set work or anything though, that would be unfair.)

How does this work that some people can take out and some get fined?

Personally I think the whole thing is ridiculous.

It’s your choice to do whatever you think is best, but please don’t say it’s anything other than a holiday in the sun. You can call it a life experience, but it’s your honeymoon.
Please do not ask the teacher to provide work or suggestions for things she can do. You can do some research if you decide to do some work with her, but that’s not really what a honeymoon is about.

I’m in Ireland and there aren’t fines to worry about. I only did it once for one day though (family event).

I mean, I’d do the catch up work afterwards, not during the holiday. Or do some extra work beforehand so she won’t be out of step when she comes back?

Teacher and Mum here. It is tricky because holiday firms milk parents during school holidays. However it is not ok to say it doesn't matter, they won't miss much. Learning moves at a fast pace in a class and potentially a child out of class misses an important step. Frankly how do they then catch up? Are you as the instigator of the child's absence prepared to sit with your child to fill in the gap? Or do you expect muggins [aka the class teacher] to repair the damage...and whilst doing that, what do I do with the rest of the class who are ready to move on, hold them back? Ideas on a postcard please.

It’s not a life experience, it’s a holiday, if you want to let her miss school ok, but don’t try to dress it up as doing her a favour by taking her out of school. We did holidays we could afford in the school holidays which great but takes a bit more imagination to bring in on budget (think road trips to places where you don’t typically take summer holidays)

I’d say absolutely go for it. I think it’s madness you have to pay to spend time with your own children.

You have a child that is meant to be in school.

You have a finite number of years when you need to save going away until the school holidays.

If you are going to do it then do it and take the fine. Don't do the whole it's learning a new language/culture/experience or whatever, the fact is you are doing it because it is cheaper, a lot cheaper. On your application to school you just say family wedding with holiday, take the fine when it comes.

I have done it too, once. I took mine out for 6 days, one it didn't affect at all as it was year 6 post SATs week and I know they did fuck all except celebrate, school play stuff, ice cream van on the field because I volunteered in the school.

It did affect my year 3 child but I was happy to do a little extra work with him, he was greater depth already and because I knew the teachers I could just look at the lesson plans for the week he was off. Not everyone would have this and I certainly wouldn't expect any teacher to prepare work specifically for my child.

The biggest barrier to children failing at school is persistent absence where it happens frequently, a day a week sort of thing. If you have parents who are already supplementing their child's education at home then they can usually catch up with no issues. I would say the main issue would be maths as it is a building block subject and you need the foundational stuff to progress. This is why doing 10-20 minutes of school work a day over the summer holidays keeps their brains ticking over.

Personally I think it's too long. The 10 nights must include at least one weekend, but all the same it's going to be more than a full week off school I presume? And not even at the end of the year when a lot of time is spent on trips, sports day and so on. It's one thing to miss a day or two at the end of term but I think over a week mid term does risk missing quite a lot of learning. It's not as bad as taking time out in an exam year in secondary school of course but a lot of foundations are laid in the early years at school and missing out on learning basic principles early on could have a negative impact later. Obviously sometimes it can't be avoided due to illness etc but I don't think I'd deliberately take a child out of school for that long at any stage.

Yeah so my kid in senior school was given permission to have an authorised absence from school due to international sport call up. We applied, the school were fine as grades were good and we did things by the book.

What the OP is suggesting is an un-authorised absence. Let's not try to pretend or gloss the fact that it is against the rules, would be an un-authorised absence and is only being done to save money.

When is the Year 1 phonics screen check? That usually happens in June doesn’t it?

Um no, you don't have to pay to spend time with your own children. They are legally required to be in school as every other child of school age. You can spend all the time you like outside of school with your children. I don't think there is a country in the world (yeah I mean I'm sure there is) that doesn't require kids to be in school when they are school age.