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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? Taking child out of school

148 replies

MummaHud · 05/09/2025 11:05

Am I being unreasonable for taking my child out of school in June, for a 10 night family holiday for our honeymoon.

she is in year 1 - the difference in a holiday which will be such a life experience for her is £3k for the sake of going 5 weeks later out side of school times.

my parents say ‘take the fine’
my partners parents are saying we are unreasonable and do a cheaper holiday somewhere cheaper in the school holidays.

has anyone else done this before that can give advice?

OP posts:
mummybear35 · 05/09/2025 15:16

I wouldn’t personally but know some people do. I feel it shows kids that education comes second to fun and is optional and that’s not how I choose to bring my kids up. The fine is irrelevant. It’s your child that has to do the catch up, feel behind in her work and often, in subjects like maths etc, missing 10days could mean missing topics, falling behind and struggling later in other topics. It also isn’t fair on teachers who have to do extra work with your child to help them get up to speed. For us as a family, education comes above everything and we have two very high achieving kids (now at university) so we’ve never taken them out of school for a jolly..

BG2015 · 05/09/2025 15:19

Just make sure she doesn’t miss out on the year 1 phonics check it’s normally in June

Flakey99 · 05/09/2025 15:26

BallerinaRadio · 05/09/2025 11:18

I think the the actual crux of this issue is missed whenever it crops up. It's not about 'you' or your kid missing 'just a few days' of school.

If every family had carte blanche to do that then teachers would never would never be teaching to a full classroom. If every kid had 'just a couple of days' here and there the teaching would be all over the place.

If you can't afford a holiday out of term time, then you can't afford that holiday.

If a teacher can’t cope with the odd child missing a few days then that suggests that the teaching methodology is unfit for purpose?

Here in Ireland they don’t issue fines for holiday absence and the Primary schools function perfectly well. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Linenpickle · 05/09/2025 15:35

Just take the kid out of school. No problems.

TheCurious0range · 05/09/2025 15:45

Can you at least overlap with may half term or go for a week? You'll find a lot of places not expensive in may. We were planning to take DS out the last 3 days of summer term this year and it's made it significantly cheaper, no fine and he's not missing much other than games and watching films, we didn't in the end due to a change in circumstances

snoopyfanaccountant · 05/09/2025 15:46

I'm in Scotland so we don't have fines but having done it once when one of mine was a similar age to OP's, we didn't do it again because it took that DC months to catch up the 4 days that had been missed because a key new concept had been taught in those 4 days.
We added a couple of days each side of a week's school holiday to go to visit family in NY. We saw all the sights in NYC, visited recreated villages in Long Island, had a road trip to Washington DC where we visited a number of museums in The Mall, visited an Amish Village, tried new foods, and experienced American culture. Yes, there was an educational aspect to it, but at the end of the day it was still a holiday.

MyLittleNest · 05/09/2025 15:46

Living in the US at the moment. Rules are different here. We take our child out of school for family trips all the time. Lots do. We don't even tell the school why. Our kid, our choice. Especially following Covid when we lost so many opportunities, these family moments matter more to us than anything else.

I will say 10 days is a long time, so it's pushing it. But at that age, she isn't missing much! Can you shorten the trip to only missing 5 days of school? If you can get away with it where you are, I say absolutely. Family time and life experiences matter too. You only get one life!!

Bimblebombles · 05/09/2025 15:54

My DD didn't like being out of school - I took her out just for a couple of days before half term one year around that age for a holiday and she spent the entirety of those couple of days asking, "Will my friends be having break time now? I am sad I missed the non uniform day. What will my friends be eating for dinner today? I'm sad I missed pizza day. Can I do my show and tell when I get back even though I missed it?" etc etc. It went on and on, I felt shit for taking her out of school. She's a bit of an anxious natured kid and I think it didn't sit well with her and she felt like she couldn't properly enjoy herself as it wasn't a 'proper' holiday. Something to consider, especially for such a long stretch.

AgileMentor · 05/09/2025 16:19

Take mine out once a year for a family holiday. My daughter is a level ahead in reading and she’s only 1 of 2 in the class that are. She’s also ahead in maths. Done her absolutely no harm.

dizzydizzydizzy · 05/09/2025 16:23

At that age it’s fine in the sense that it won’t impact their education - in fact depending on where you are going and what you are doing, it might actually be incredibly educational and better than being at school.

When DC1 was in y1, we did something similar. We asked the teacher and she actually encouraged us to do it (and told us not to tell the head) but it was more than 15 years ago. Fines weren’t so readily used back then.

Tiswa · 05/09/2025 16:28

It doesn’t matter whether we or anyone thinks it is fine or not (and trust me based on experience I have views on these attendance guidelines).

the fact is if the OP is in England she needs to get an idea of exactly what the process could be for taking out of school for that length of time is opening yourself up to the potential down the line of a custodial sentence or a £2,500 fine per parent and most likely a fine and a first offence

given she is taking over twice the length of time for the first level offence it is worth checking out how her local authority handles it and they do vary

Tiswa · 05/09/2025 16:28

And post August 2024 anything pre that was under different rules and anything more than 10 years ago under very different rules!

Thunderdcc · 05/09/2025 16:32

I would join it on to a school holiday like May half term. Should still be cheaper and means less school missed.

Also depends on your holiday childcare arrangements - that's a lot of holiday from work you might regret using in August!

hydriotaphia · 05/09/2025 16:35

YABU. Sorry, but it is selfish to take the child out of school. A year 1 is just as happy with sandcastles in Blackpool than a holiday in Bali. The 'experience'/money saving is a benefit for you, the loss of school is detriment to your child.

ednaclouda · 05/09/2025 16:46

Yellowlife · 05/09/2025 11:19

It’s fine OP.
She’s not doing her A levels here.
Do some extra work with her for a couple of weeks when you get back if you think she needs it. This holiday is important but it is also important she doesn’t fall behind. But you can do both. Maybe ask her teacher to see if there are areas you could work on. (Don’t ask the teacher to set work or anything though, that would be unfair.)

Edited

So she 5/6
its not like she doing her a levels
it'll be fine

Itsreallynotdifficult · 05/09/2025 16:48

We have absence request forms at our school, twice we have requested term time holidays to see family who live abroad, had to visit when it suited them, both requests were approved so no fine, I said we would be happy to do missed schoolwork etc at home, but the school weren’t worried about it so didn’t need to. As the holiday is for an occasion/reason other than just going on your annual holiday every year in term time I would like to think the school would understand and approve it. Yes it’s a lot about saving money but if you can’t have the same honeymoon if you had to go in the school holidays then that makes it the reason to have the honeymoon in term time, you (usually) only get 1 honeymoon. However taking her out without even asking is automatically unauthorised absence. So you’d be better off asking as you might be alright. My kids still both had 96+% attendance those years, which is above the target. They’re usually at 99/100% so I’m not worried if twice in 8 years it’s been slightly less for an important reason and not done year in year out. There’s a lot worse out there with kids off Willy Nilly for the slightest little sniffle or paper cut and thats the issue.

Phoenixfire1988 · 05/09/2025 16:57

user1492757084 · 05/09/2025 11:18

It's fine.
Take the fine and also take some Maths, Writing and Reading suggestions from the teacher. School her for an hour or two each day. Help her not to come back from the holiday terribly behind.

Who wants to do school work on holiday give over !

TheYouYouAre · 05/09/2025 16:58

I would do it. I worried about this sort of thing a bit when my children were younger. Now they are in secondary school, I wish I'd done a few of the term time holidays I thought about doing when they were in the younger primary years. I really don't think it matters that much when they are so young.

Gaminggeek · 05/09/2025 17:00

Multiples factors tbh.

  1. depends where you are going?

  2. depends where you live

  3. depends on the school.

  4. if it really is a life experience holiday then I say yes, we went to Japan in May with our 3 (before summer holidays) and was definitely worth it because it was an amazing experience for them all. Whereas going to Greece / Spain etc, no. That can be done in school holidays, it’s not a life time experience.

  5. Wales is more lenient than England with this rule currently. If the school agrees, you can take your primary school aged child out of school for up to 10 days for a holiday. But again it is dependent - our kids schools agreed on our holiday to Japan because it was seen as an experience and educational opportunity (even for our teen), so we didn’t have to pay the fine.

  6. notes above. Some schools will be ok with it depending on the circumstances. And ultimately in primary it doesn’t matter as much, if their attendance is good otherwise.

my parents live abroad for instance, but we only go there on the school holidays even though that would be deemed as a good reason to take them out of school too. But it’s not worth it for us because education is more important.

you need to do what’s best for you all as a family.

Phoenixfire1988 · 05/09/2025 17:00

It's absolutely fine I'm taking mine next June its 2.5k cheaper than July/ August they are MY children not the states if I want to take them on holiday in will and they can shove their fines where the sun doesnt shine . They aren't so concerned about their education when teachers are striking are they ?!

FlowersAndFruit · 05/09/2025 17:02

Yanbu.

Digdongdoo · 05/09/2025 17:03

Of course people do it. You may or may not get fined. I personally wouldn't for that long. A couple of days tagged onto a half term is more reasonable (we've done this a couple of times)
But you just got married in Spain, so I don't think it will fly that this particular trip is a once in a lifetime experience. But it's up to you.
I guess it also depends what sort of holiday, rich in cultural experiences and language emersion? Possibly more justifiable that 10 days sat by a pool.
I'm all for your kids your choice, but it can be hard for them to catch back up, even at that age.

Londonrach1 · 05/09/2025 17:04

Just factor the fine in. Personally I wouldn't as end of the year is a life experience but everyone is different.

ELP1983 · 05/09/2025 17:31

We took our Daughter out of reception class for 2 weeks for our wedding. She's now 13 and doing extremely well at school. Take her out, they don't stay young forever and you will cherish the memories x

hungryduck · 05/09/2025 17:40

@MummaHudJune in year 1 is when they go the PSC (phonics screening check) which is a national test.

No, I would never take my child out of school if they had a national test.

I would also never take children on honeymoon. That's not a honeymoon, it's a family holiday.

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