AIBU? Taking child out of school

[MummaHud]

Am I being unreasonable for taking my child out of school in June, for a 10 night family holiday for our honeymoon.

she is in year 1 - the difference in a holiday which will be such a life experience for her is £3k for the sake of going 5 weeks later out side of school times.

my parents say ‘take the fine’
my partners parents are saying we are unreasonable and do a cheaper holiday somewhere cheaper in the school holidays.

has anyone else done this before that can give advice?

You want to do the holiday, so do. She is your child, your choice.

But:
Do not ask the teacher for work / exercises / suggestions. Not fair to add to the teachers workload. Just do reading practice with her and whatever else they are doing, e.g number bonds.
Be honest if anything is in preparation in the run up to your holiday: do not let her take a key role in rehearsals for their class assembly if she will be away that week
Don’t make spurious justifications. You are going in a fab holiday at a time you can afford it and are taking your child out of school to do so.

The fact they strike for proper funding to improve children's education has completely passed you by, huh.

Take her and have a great time.

You've totally flown over the point I was making. If ebery 'odd kid' had the 'odd day's off the teacher would never be teaching a full class

They can prosecute you know?

as I said I hate the rules even more so post August but they can if you don’t pay the fine prosecute

I agree with the PPs who said it's a family holiday, not a honeymoon - even if it is special to you because you're getting married before you go. A honeymoon is for newlyweds without children in tow!

I got married before having kids so it wasn't an issue for me, but in your position I would do a short honeymoon without the child (if there's anyone who could look after them while you're away) or a family holiday that overlaps with at least some of the school holidays or a bank holiday or inset day so the child doesn't miss more than 4-5 days of school. As a PP said, you could overlap with May half term for example. I certainly wouldn't take the child out of school for 2 whole weeks. I think they would miss too much, and I also don't have enough annual leave to cover 2 weeks on top of all the school holidays.

This.
Also OP, I get the feeling that you wouldn't enjoy the holiday if you took her during term time.

I've done it with my child whose quite academically ahead with no regrets, she learnt more on the holidays than she did at school where the work was easy. I'm not sure I'd do it now my second child is at school who is more average and possibly can't afford to miss a few days. I think you know your child and your finances best and as long a you value their education you are best placed to decide if they can afford to miss the time and if the holiday is worth it.

That’s not true. Second week of June is the national phonics screening for every child in Y1 (mainstream). The child who misses it, fails it and needs to do the necessary catch up in Y2.

It’s not likely to affect her long term education or prospects.

It is against the rules.

I wouldn’t call it a “life experience”, it’s an enjoyable holiday.

So you have to weigh up the enjoyment of the holiday and the money you’d save by going in term time against the fine, the having to catch up on learning, and however you feel about massively inconveniencing the teacher.

Plus she could miss out on some fun stuff with the other kids at school like trips or whatever in the summer term.

It depends how you feel about all that.

Ive only ever taken my eldest out of school on two occasions - two days for my brother’s wedding abroad (it crossed a weekend) and one day to come to the hospital the day after her brother, my youngest was born. Both times she was in reception and both were authorised by the school.

Haven’t taken her out since (she’s in sixth form now) and never taken out my youngest (11, in year 7 now). But that’s my choice weighing their needs and preferences as well as all those things above.

No one can really tell you what to do!

Your honeymoon holiday is not going to be a ‘life experience’ for a 5 year old. Just go for 5 nights during the holidays.

It's your honeymoon.

Leave her with the two sets of grandparents - say half the time with each set.

You get your honeymoon and she doesn't have to miss school.

If she had covid or chicken pox no one would batter an eye lid. Just go and take the fine

But then she might get Covid or chickenpox too and miss twice the time.

Sorry, but I don’t agree with you at all! I grew up in a different country where there were no fines, and I remember regularly not going to school on Fridays when I was in primary school. Did I miss anything? No! Did it hinder my future career? No! I still finished university with distinction, I still managed to get a scholarship to one of the top universities globally for my master’s, and I still managed to earn a six-figure salary by the time I turned 30.
What made the difference for me? Spending time with my mum. Did we do anything fancy or expensive? No. Is it something I’ll cherish forever, especially since I lost her when I was 24? Yes.
All these fines are just BS—a way for the government to make more money and, in part, to try to control kids from estates whose parents couldn’t care less.

Kids get 13 weeks year off school
It is really not hard to fit a holiday into those

If you are doing it in june & not even hitting the half term it is clearly about money.

If you can afford anything for 10 nights in june you can afford something less luxurious and just as much of life experience during the school holidays.

They’re probably going on a safari or something if they’re saying it’s a life experience. I’d take my kids out of school for something like that.

I'd say check with school. Year 1 have phonics check in June. As long as child is in school for that they may be ok with it

10 nights is a lot off school unless a week and 2 weekends

a week is fine imo

10 days not

I took mini blondes out for a week each time in R 1&2. Got £60 fine for both parents

after those 3yrs I got a letter from council saying if did again they may fine £2.5k

may.

I couldn’t risk it so now yr 3&4 we go August

It's either a case of you do or you don't. No one can really tell you which is the right choice for you. The government changed rules regarding attendance and fines etc, last September. Before it was down to the school to initiate the council to fine parents. Now, as soon as your child's absence is marked as Unauthorised and it falls within the threshold, you will automatically be fined by the Council. Schools have no involvement with that side any more. Your child's school won't authorise the absence, because they have to follow the governments guidelines. You will be fined. I don't see the harm, when they are young, it's when children get older, it makes a difference. My parents used to take me abroad usually end of August into September (back in the day when no one gave two hoots about attendance), which meant I missed the start of term. I hated it, because I came in a week later, everyone else had settled, knew what they were doing etc!

Take her and pay the fine, you’ll all have a lovely time, but ‘life experience’ - no. She’ll hardly remember it in years to come. Also, please do not ask the teacher to provide work. It’s really not fair to increase the teacher’s workload because you want a term time holiday. You’re choosing for your child to not attend school, so you’re choosing for them to miss the work. This is fine, but it’s a choice you are making.

Take her and factor in the potential fine as part of the holiday cost.

It’s fine as long as your daughter isn’t falling behind at school
I’d say it’s for a wedding not the honeymoon btw
if the in laws are that against it would they babysit her and do the school run for ten days?

They definitely shouldn’t do work but you could ask them what they’ll cover that week so you can practise or pre teach, and get the spellings and other home work from a parent

Then they’d feel obliged to provide something. You’ve put it into the teacher’s mind and given them something else to think about. Your choice to take your child out, your choice to miss the work, which is fine.