AIBU? Taking child out of school

[MummaHud]

Am I being unreasonable for taking my child out of school in June, for a 10 night family holiday for our honeymoon.

she is in year 1 - the difference in a holiday which will be such a life experience for her is £3k for the sake of going 5 weeks later out side of school times.

my parents say ‘take the fine’
my partners parents are saying we are unreasonable and do a cheaper holiday somewhere cheaper in the school holidays.

has anyone else done this before that can give advice?

They are in year 1! Take some books and do some reading practice and it will be fine.

FWIW I take my DS out for a weeks ski holiday as they don't get a proper February half term. It's noted as unauthorised but the school tell us to have a nice time.
We do reading practice, he does some writing and we do maths with him whilst we are away.

We don't take term time holidays. And go to cheaper places in the summer. But in hear 1 it is unlikely to make any difference if you do this once for her learning. But do it again and the school can start to build a case against you and then tou can get into all sorts of shit.

Firstly, I would check your LA’s policy on how they handle unauthorised absence. The new framework which came in last year is just guidance, some LA’s won’t fine until you hit 10 sessions missed, others are more strict and some may proceed straight to court depending on the length of absence. We are taking ours out for 4 days after October half term as we’re going to Florida. I’ve checked with school and LA and we won’t be fined as we are below the threshold. This will be the only instance though and they have good grades and attendance otherwise.

So you need to check out what the policy of your local authority is particularly given the 10 day stretch - it isn’t always fine first some do jump straight to prosecution (and it is the local authority rather than the school)

get a feel for what the process normally is - what is her attendance generally like as well in terms of illness and expect to need to justify any illness after that with evidence.

it is a pain and I hate it but get your research into how it’s handled so nothing comes unexpected

and then remember once you have done it once the fine the next time is higher - will the LA look at is as 2 separate issues as in theory each 5 day stretch is one fine. Could any further days off without evidence for the rest of the term trigger the second fine

also remember that if they don’t fine for the second set those days do move across

as I said get prepared for what your Local autoroute is and how they handle it

Well then I’m happy to help(!) - in the UK children are not legally required to “be in school”. They are required to be having a full time education.

I fail to see how having a holiday in year 1 is going to have any impact whatsoever on a child’s educational potential being fulfilled. Go for it OP - hope you have a great time!

Well yes but the framework that relates to school and fines is such that there are legal consequences if you decide to put your child in the school system rather than home education

there is a very small risk this could end in prosecution so the OP needs to be aware of how the local authority she is in will react to a holiday twice the length of the fine length

I take them out every year. Four of them now. Farmers kids. Ten days, so usually eight school days.

in Scotland so no fines.

it is sort of understood or accepted that holidays are seasonal, end of.

others keep them home for lambing, shows, lots flexi school.

the school keeps an attendance record and is bound to investigate when this drops. The children’s engagement and attendance is good the rest of the year, so no further action is taken.

this year they missed a local walk, sports day practice, assembly and a topic presentation which they did before they went.

I think here so long as the school are aware and it’s not a safeguarding type issue, eg just disappear for a week then they try very hard to be supportive. Same with off shore families if leave falls in term time, same with military families. Same with important local or family events.

Sorry I’m confused… who is saying you have to pay to spend time with your own children? You have evenings, weekends and school holidays to spend time with your own children. Or you could spend every day with them if you wanted to home educate, entirely for free.

Give the teacher extra work for a honeymoon??

I don't think so.

They want her to have work, they can find it themselves!

This. Do it if you want but don't pretend it's for her benefit as opposed to saving you money.

Year 1 not important then?

I don't know what you want anyone here to say?

If you can't afford to go there during the school holidays, then you can't afford that particular holiday.

If you don't want to swap to a cheaper one or spend longer saving up, then tell the school you're taking your child out of school for it.

But for the love of God, don't be that parent who claims the holiday will be a 'life experience'.

They hear that from everyone whether the child will be visiting African villages, or sipping mocktails in a kid's club in Benidorm 🙄

I just think missing ten days in year 1 isnt going to make much difference to the outcome for her life.

Mine will be taken out for a week in October to go to Florida. He's just started Year 5.

It's a very special occasion so we'll take the fine if it comes to that.

I think it’s totally fine.

In years to come, you will look back on the memories made on an amazing holiday, you will not lament the things missed from 8 days off school.

I'd do it in a heart beat, took DS out in Yr5 to Cuba, it was fantastic. I don't know why you wouldn't tbh, DS's school at that time thought it sounded amazing and had no issue with it. He got all 8's and 9's in his GCSE's so definitely didn't affect his education either!

Schools are only so against it now because they have Ofsted breathing down their necks over attendance. Tell the school what you're doing in advance, and if you get a fine (they might not have any real choice) then just pay it.

Congrats and have an amazing time!

You have the long school holidays for that.

The child is in year 1. Some perspective is needed here - she is not missing anything crucial at that age. Just take her and pay the fine.

I'd do it without a second thought. I wouldn't try and pass it off as a life experience though. It's a holiday.

If you're just looking for whether it's morally ok - of course it is. I don't know what the entire situation is with fines etc as we don't have them here but I've no qualms about taking my daughter out of school during term time - though I have tended to make sure it's tagged on to an existing holiday eg two weeks before the summer holidays, or an extra two days on the October break. I just let the school know in advance and don't take the piss with it. There isn't a great deal of affordable holiday overlap with a) family in England and b) friends in different local authority areas so we do what we do. I think it's fine in primary school if your wee one is otherwise doing ok. For your actual honeymoon, a life event - do it.

Generally in terms of her education? She's fine... it's year 1.
As for justifying it as a life experience, as a 6 year old, in 10-15 years time she'll have bugger all memory of it. We took DD to Disney World for the 1st time when she was 7 and she doesn't even remember going then really. The subsequent visits through the years are a different matter entirely.
Don't forget the general rule about term time absences. First time, a fine. Second time within 3 years, the fine doubles. Third time, potential prosecution. Be careful if you're planning on making a regular thing of holidays in term time.
Personally, I'd do it as a one-off.

I always roll my eyes at people who attempt to justify things like this to themselves as “such a life experience” when the child is 5/6.

I’m not really sure what you’re asking. You’ll get fined. But it’s not going to ruin her education.

I don't think you should. Very different from visiting a loved one who cannot travel to you, or the example of the family where it is to help with lambing.

Some of these answers are unreal. Year 1 is 5/6 years old!! What are they learning exactly that missing 10 days (around 5-6% of school days, apparently) at age FIVE will have such a detrimental affect?! Nothing.

A bit of Reading and writing at their age level will be fine to keep them bobbing along with their peers whilst making sure they don't miss out on a lovely family holiday. And those saying she won't remember it completely depends on the child - I have a 13 year old who can remember days out and holidays from age 3 (!!) and a 10 year old who can't remember last week 😆 so you just don't know.

And Sorry, but I know several teachers (almost All primary, never secondary where the real work is done 🙄) who have an incredibly inflated opinion of their impact on the children, and an unshifting belief in the necessity for unrelenting attendance and schoolwork - see these here, "it'll take all year for them to catch up" 🤦‍♀️ and "what about phonics testing?" 😱 Fgs get a sense of perspective - quality family and social time is arguably As important if not more at that age, all they're worried about is bloody results, funding, and feeding their own ego.

Also FYI, our schools here don't fine unless child's attendance drops below 90 so if your area is similar you'll be fine on that front!🤞😁

We had a belting family holiday when my daughter was four and she still talks about it all the time. It depends how alive it's kept in their memory. For a honeymoon and a big holiday, it's not a given that they won't remember.