Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel upset at this

79 replies

LittleMissPMT · 04/09/2025 22:08

AIBU to feel like I ruined mine and my partners date day/night?

we took the day off to spend time together as we both work long hours and he gets his DS all weekend so we can’t really do much as a couple.

I teased him about what I was planning for his birthday, I spent around 3 months researching stuff about his favourite game, and there wasn't anything grabbing my attention massively gift wise as I wanted it to be extremely special for him, so I came across an article about quirky air bnbs, I started looking up ones in Scotland and found one called airship 2, it looked really futuristic but rustic at the same time like the aesthetic of his favourite game, so I thought brilliant, a wee night in that he would probably love since it fits the vibe of the game so well.

He eventually got it out of me what it was and he said no, I didn't have an issue with him saying no at all I was just so gutted that I missed the mark with what he would like for his birthday, I didn't want to cry as that's all I've done for the last 2 weeks so I just sat quiet for a wee while in hopes that the lump in my throat would go away so I could chat without sobbing and he thought I was angry at him, so he eventually said “I’ll just stay at my mums tonight, don’t want to be where I’m not wanted”. After he said that I just felt absolutely gutted and upset like I’d ruined the whole purpose of the day/night.

AIBU?

OP posts:
PinkiOcelot · 04/09/2025 22:10

Why did he say no?

I don’t blame you for being upset.

Changeintheweathet · 04/09/2025 22:10

Why have you cried for the last two weeks?

FuzzyWolf · 04/09/2025 22:11

I think you come across as having been incredibly invested in giving him a great gift and perhaps that why his rudeness has hurt as much as it has.

HiCandles · 04/09/2025 22:12

Why didn't he like the idea? It sounds cool to me.
Did he think he was going to get an actual physical present? I love activity type presents as does my DH nowadays, who needs more stuff in the world.

Chobby · 04/09/2025 22:14

What was his reason for saying no to his gift?

LittleMissPMT · 04/09/2025 22:15

PinkiOcelot · 04/09/2025 22:10

Why did he say no?

I don’t blame you for being upset.

He said he didn’t want me spending the amount of money for it (£220)

OP posts:
LittleMissPMT · 04/09/2025 22:16

Changeintheweathet · 04/09/2025 22:10

Why have you cried for the last two weeks?

my son has a catalogue of disabilities and has been very very poorly due to them

OP posts:
FuzzyWolf · 04/09/2025 22:17

On the basis of what you have said, he seems to have been unnecessarily unkind to you. I’m sorry and I hope things seem a bit brighter once you’ve slept on it.

LittleMissPMT · 04/09/2025 22:17

HiCandles · 04/09/2025 22:12

Why didn't he like the idea? It sounds cool to me.
Did he think he was going to get an actual physical present? I love activity type presents as does my DH nowadays, who needs more stuff in the world.

He said he didn’t want me spending all that money it was £220

OP posts:
CloseThatDoor · 04/09/2025 22:19

Is money tight?

LittleMissPMT · 04/09/2025 22:20

CloseThatDoor · 04/09/2025 22:19

Is money tight?

Money is great, he is in his highest earning band and I run 2 businesses

OP posts:
HiCandles · 04/09/2025 22:21

Is it money you could easily afford?

gamerchick · 04/09/2025 22:21

That sounds like an awesome gift. He's behaved strangely OP. Pissing on your chips like that and then buggering off knowing you felt bad. He doesn't sound like a very nice person.

What's he like for your special days?

SunnySideDeepDown · 04/09/2025 22:22

LittleMissPMT · 04/09/2025 22:20

Money is great, he is in his highest earning band and I run 2 businesses

So if it’s not about money, what is it about?

He sounds ungrateful and rude.

TheTwitcher11 · 04/09/2025 22:22

LittleMissPMT · 04/09/2025 22:16

my son has a catalogue of disabilities and has been very very poorly due to them

Sorry to hear about your sons struggles.. your partner should have defo shown more tact, given your circumstances.

InWalksBarberalla · 04/09/2025 22:23

Are you both very young- why was he going to stay at his mum's? It sounds like you were more invested in his birthday than he was - some people aren't that fussed about gifts.

LittleMissPMT · 04/09/2025 22:23

SunnySideDeepDown · 04/09/2025 22:22

So if it’s not about money, what is it about?

He sounds ungrateful and rude.

Yes, this is something I’m also questioning. He says I already do the most for him but I struggle to figure out what he means by that. I do not support him financially, I make his dinners and wash his pants of course but he also does this for me too

OP posts:
LittleMissPMT · 04/09/2025 22:25

gamerchick · 04/09/2025 22:21

That sounds like an awesome gift. He's behaved strangely OP. Pissing on your chips like that and then buggering off knowing you felt bad. He doesn't sound like a very nice person.

What's he like for your special days?

Thank you gamerchick, my partner has been my first for a lot of things. Every birthday he never fails to whisk me away to a glamping pod and this year he took me on the NC500, he’s a lovely human being to me and my children who are not his biologically. I just have no clue where this is all coming from

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock000 · 04/09/2025 22:26

You're placing too much emotion on his response.
He probably didn't think it was worth the money and with his custody arrangements, he might not be able to go.
Some people don't like a fuss on their birthday.
I am sorry that your DC is unwell.

LittleMissPMT · 04/09/2025 22:26

InWalksBarberalla · 04/09/2025 22:23

Are you both very young- why was he going to stay at his mum's? It sounds like you were more invested in his birthday than he was - some people aren't that fussed about gifts.

yes we are late 20s, mum lives 20 minutes away and has spare room as he didn’t properly leave home until moving in with me due to mums poor health

OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 04/09/2025 22:27

I think he has been quite rude

Itsabeautifulthing · 04/09/2025 22:28

LittleMissPMT · 04/09/2025 22:25

Thank you gamerchick, my partner has been my first for a lot of things. Every birthday he never fails to whisk me away to a glamping pod and this year he took me on the NC500, he’s a lovely human being to me and my children who are not his biologically. I just have no clue where this is all coming from

How much does the glamping pod cost him? Seems strange he doesn't want to go on your planned night away, I think it sounds really fun. Sorry about your hard few weeks xx

CloseThatDoor · 04/09/2025 22:28

LittleMissPMT · 04/09/2025 22:20

Money is great, he is in his highest earning band and I run 2 businesses

Is he stressed and just doesn't fancy going away for a night?

I have a demanding job and my DH suggested a weekend away as a nice gesture but I said no, only as I want to decompress and not worry about packing or travelling!

Maybe it's not that deep, he just didn't fancy it?

EmeraldShamrock000 · 04/09/2025 22:29

Do you suffer with pmt and emotional regulation, Re, your username? He could be overwhelmed knowing you are sad the past fortnight, he might be shit at reading emotions.
Opt for a nice meal out instead.

InWalksBarberalla · 04/09/2025 22:30

It's fine if he doesn't want to go away but running away to stay at his mum's when he lives with you is off.

Swipe left for the next trending thread