To feel upset at this

[LittleMissPMT]

AIBU to feel like I ruined mine and my partners date day/night?

we took the day off to spend time together as we both work long hours and he gets his DS all weekend so we can’t really do much as a couple.

I teased him about what I was planning for his birthday, I spent around 3 months researching stuff about his favourite game, and there wasn't anything grabbing my attention massively gift wise as I wanted it to be extremely special for him, so I came across an article about quirky air bnbs, I started looking up ones in Scotland and found one called airship 2, it looked really futuristic but rustic at the same time like the aesthetic of his favourite game, so I thought brilliant, a wee night in that he would probably love since it fits the vibe of the game so well.

He eventually got it out of me what it was and he said no, I didn't have an issue with him saying no at all I was just so gutted that I missed the mark with what he would like for his birthday, I didn't want to cry as that's all I've done for the last 2 weeks so I just sat quiet for a wee while in hopes that the lump in my throat would go away so I could chat without sobbing and he thought I was angry at him, so he eventually said “I’ll just stay at my mums tonight, don’t want to be where I’m not wanted”. After he said that I just felt absolutely gutted and upset like I’d ruined the whole purpose of the day/night.

AIBU?

To you maybe. You can’t decide for everyone or are you just trying to be rude?

A pp asked her a direct question,

Why have you cried for the last two weeks?

She responded clearly to that question, stating,

my son has a catalogue of disabilities and has been very very poorly due to them

That was really clear.

You responded,

Which isn’t great OP and I’m sorry to hear that but doesn’t have anything to do with crying for two weeks because your boyfriend didn’t want you spending that much money on him for his birthday.

She clearly stated that her 2 weeks of crying was related to her son's disabilities and illness. In fact, it was your response that didn't make sense because at no point did she say she had been crying for two weeks because her boyfriend didn't like the present suggestion 🤷🏻‍♀️

Some people are very good at giving, but not good at all at receiving. Being treated makes some people feel very uncomfortable for various reasons (as a matter of control, for example. Not in a nefarious way, but as a self protection). Based on your update, it sounds like his birthday may be something that he struggles with in general. Birthdays can be emotional, and trigger a lot of emotions that someone may not even understand themselves.

I can also see that If he thought his presence was making you upset and/or angry, why he’d think removing himself would be the best thing to do. I don’t necessarily think he meant it to punish you.

I suspect it isn’t personal to you.

Yes, completely concur with you
Original commenter has expressed everything extremely eloquently most surely 💚💛